Savage love
by sightsofsummer
Summary: When Emma Sawyer meets Noah Chevalier, he appears to be the perfect man. But Noah seems to be hiding a secret. Set in modern times. The story is actually better and more complex than the description.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi guys, this is my very first fanfic ever :) I'm already at 6 chapters but I'm waiting for reviews to see if I shall upload more. To be honest, the chapters I'm writing now are more interesting :) Enjoy!_

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><p>'Jesus Christ, who does this guy think he is? The President?'<p>

As the large wrought-iron gates opened and we drove up a lane flanked by cypress trees and leading to a huge house that, indeed, looked a bit like the White House, I couldn't help but agree with my friend Gabrielle. We had driven here in Gabrielle's beat-up Ford convertible in order to visit the mansion's Renaissance art collection for one of our classes.

'I wonder if we'll actually see the guy. From the looks of this house he thinks he's way above us,' Gabrielle said.

I stared at a fountain in the middle of the driveway, with the gravel curving around it.

'That is...this is a Bernini. Look. We heard about this in last week's lecture.'

'Oh, yeah? I didn't pay that much attention. I'm sure it's a copy. This guy may be rich but not even he has a Bernini just lying around,' Gabrielle replied.

I silenced as Gabrielle drove around the fountain and parked her car. I quickly opened the door and got out, still in awe at the beauty of the enormous house.

'Do you think we should just...knock on the front door?' I asked.

'That is hardly a front door, that is a solid gate. And... I suppose so?' Gabrielle offered.

We walked up the steps - the stone that the house was made of looked like marble - and stood still in front of the large doors for a moment, until Gabrielle knocked. Once, twice, three times. Within seconds the door opened and a man greeted us with a tight, yet nice smile.

'More art students coming to visit the gallery? Come in.'

He led the way through the hallway - still, all was decorated in white - and opened a heavy wooden door. No locks whatsoever. Gabrielle and I exchanged a glance. If the person who lived here was so wealthy and owned so many _very_ expensive art pieces, wouldn't he at least be smart enough to keep them safe?

The dark-haired man guided us into the huge gallery and Gabrielle gasped. There were dozens of old statues here, many obviously from the Renaissance and others that I could tell were over two thousand years old. The walls were decorated with an endless supply of paintings, all in perfect state, of which many were unfamiliar to me, but there were also a lot that I recognized from several of her text books.

The man cleared his throat and we turned to face him.

'No photography. No touching the art. No use of cellphones; please turn those off. No running. No screaming. Also, don't go exploring the house. Have a good afternoon.'

Without waiting for a response the man turned his back to us and left the room.

Gabrielle frowned. 'There aren't any guards or cameras. Does this place have _any _kind of security?'

I mumbled something inaudible at her, already distracted by the art. This was the biggest collection of classic and Renaissance art I had ever seen...and my mother had taken me to Rome, years ago. I got out my notepad and started to make notes, starting with the paintings on the walls, then continuing to the sculptures. This would take me a while; there were so many of them and I was always writing down so many things.

I held still in front of a gigantic marble sculpture on a pedestal. It was of a muscular man wearing armor and a helmet and holding a large spear, with a shield in his other hand.

I bent through my knees to see the inscription on the pedestal, which read 'Mars Ultor.'

'Mars the Avenger,' I mumbled as I stood back straight and admired the way the sculptor had carved perfection into the marble: every muscle and every vein had been sculpted to create an incredibly realistic image of the Roman god of war. I was mesmerized by the movement the sculpture contained and how from different angles it told different stories.

'Beautiful, isn't it?'

Startled by the deep masculine voice behind me, I turned around. In front of me was a seriously tall, broad-shouldered man with brown curly hair that looked like he had just rushed his hands through it. A long scar ran from right below his lips to over his eye. Somehow it didn't look scary, but instead added to his masculinity.

'Are you...are you the owner of the gallery?' I asked, even though all students had been instructed not to be too direct to the owner of the mansion.

He smiled and offered me his hand, which I shook. 'Noah Chevalier, nice to meet you.'

I cast a glance in Gabrielle's direction, who was now staring at me.

'Um... I'm Emma Sawyer. This gallery is amazing,' I said, desperately trying to _not_ come across as stupid and nervous, which was hard, because the guy was so intimidating. He was so tall and muscular and handsome, no - he was fiercely beautiful in a kind of terrifying way. His scar added to that. He didn't seem arrogant but just from his stature and attitude it was clear he was aware of the social difference between us, yet he acted like we were just two people meeting at one of the high class parties he undoubtedly went to. To top it all off, he didn't even look that much older than me. He was probably around four, maybe five years older than me. He just had that _really_ mature look on his face.

Another smile, or maybe the previous one was still on his face - I didn't know. 'Thanks. So...you know Latin?' Noah asked, referring to me translating the text on the pedestal flawlessly.

'I - yeah, my mother taught me a bit. She's a Mythology professor at Columbia,' I answered.

'Really? Wait - your mother is Olivia Sawyer?' he asked.

Of course. As always I was 'Olivia Sawyer's daughter' within seconds after meeting someone. It was always the same. Just because my mother had written several books of which more than one revolutionary (and that in a field that wasn't all that revolutionary in itself) didn't mean I couldn't be my own person. How did this Noah Chevalier know her, anyway? He might be rich enough to have an impressive art collection but his kind of people usually stayed away from my mother's area of expertise.

'What, you know her?' I asked, as nonchalantly as I could manage.

'I went to one of her readings. I think it was about justice in ancient Greece,' he explained, 'though it's a long while ago, so I hardly remember anything.' He shot me an apologetic look.

'Oh... That _is_ long ago. She hasn't done readings for years. These days she's mostly visiting archaeological sites in Europe.'

Noah nodded and shortly looked up at the large statue in front of us, then turned his attention back to me. 'I came down to see who was visiting the collection today. Many students have come to see it already, and to be honest, I'll be glad when you people are done...'

I frowned. 'Why is that? You don't want to show your collection to the world?'

As an answer, he shrugged. 'It is a private collection for a reason. But when one of your teachers found out I had some pieces that no-one knew about, he asked so nicely that I couldn't really say no.' He tilted his head slightly, studying the sculpture that we still stood in front of.

'I noticed how much you liked this one. You know, I have one of him that's even older... Well, of Ares, I mean. They're _really_ hard to find, what with all the dislike the Greeks had for him...'

'Yeah. I know. So how did you end up with so many rare pieces?' I asked. Okay, so apparently this guy wasn't all about high society and money as Gabrielle and I had previously thought. He was an enthusiastic art collector, was interested in ancient history and had heard of my mom. Of course, I had to admit...his looks helped a lot in my positive opinion of him.

'Well, many of them were passed down the family. I bought many from museums across the world...and then there's some that I came across on my trips to Europe,' he explained.

As I opened my mouth to say something in reply, he suddenly turned around. Moments later, a door on the far side of the room opened.

'Sir?' the petite girl in the doorway said.

'Yes, Lena?' Noah answered.

'Your guests are here. They're waiting in the lounge,' she said, and after his 'thank you' turned around and closed the door behind her.

He spun around to face me. 'I've got to go. Will you girls be okay here?'

I nodded. 'Sure. We'll be fine. Thank you, though...for having us over.'

He smiled at me and walked to the door Lena had just disappeared behind. Before stepping into the hallway, he looked over his shoulder. 'Really nice to meet you, Emma. You too, Gabrielle,' he called out, then closed the door.

Instantly, Gabrielle speed-walked over to me. 'Emma. That guy had the hots for you.'

I shook my head. 'No way, he wasn't even flirting with me.'

'He totally was! Well, at the end. When he _repeated _how much he liked meeting you. If it wasn't for that girl Lena calling him away, he would have totally ravaged you in one of his king-sized beds.'

'Gab! Stop it, he was _not _flirting with me and he was _not_ going to 'ravage me'!' I said, pretending to be angry although I couldn't stop a smile from breaking through.

Gabrielle poked my upper arm, practically jumping with excitement. 'A super hot, rich, smart, nice guy likes you and you like him back. Come on, you've got to do something about it! You know you want to,' she said.

'Fine. I want to. But first, he's completely out of my league, second, he has already left. And, by the way, how did he know your name?' I asked, raising an eyebrow.

'That's because we had to register for going here last month. Don't you remember? Aw, just follow the guy into his house already! It's not like he'll mind!'

'Gabrielle, have you seen this house? We'll get lost. And maybe he only liked me because of my mom.'

Gabrielle sighed. 'A man who likes your mom would act completely different. Fine, go back tomorrow and tell him you left your scarf,' she said.

I laughed. 'No, because that is not obvious. It's April. I'll just... Well, maybe I'll run into him sometime soon. He'll probably be in the city all the time.'

Gabrielle shook her head in disagreement, but was already walking away to the next piece of art. I turned my gaze back to the Mars Ultor sculpture, sighed and closed my eyes. Did Noah really seem into me? We had just been having a normal conversation. Well, Gabrielle had always been good at reading body language. It would be a shame to never see the guy again, but then again, there wasn't really anything I could do about it. Maybe I could look his profile up on Facebook - he was young enough to have one. Or...I could do a version of Gab's plan, and pretend to have got lost in the house. The problem was, I probably actually would get lost.

Again, I sighed, and opened my eyes as I went over to the next statue, this one a lesser-known bronze from much more recent times. No...I would just stay here, in the gallery, until both me and Gabrielle had finished our assignment, and then leave.


	2. Chapter 2

_So this one is a bit shorter :) chapter three is coming soon!_

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><p>'So guess what I got for my Lit essay,' I said to Gabrielle, raising my eyebrows.<p>

'I don't know. An A? It really sucks that you already got some of your grades and I'm still pulling all-nighters just to make deadlines. Brandon even already has all of his finals grades back.' Gabrielle made a face.

I laughed. 'When are you going to tell Brandon to stop texting you? What do you care about his schoolwork?'

Gabrielle shrugged. 'I don't. I'm not gonna see him for an entire summer anyway. Hey, I didn't know that guy from the coffee stand was so into you.'

'What are you talking about? What guy from the coffee stand?'

'You know who I am talking about! That cute guy that let you order first. Apparently he managed to track you down, 'cause there's a post-it on your door,' Gabrielle said, pointing to my bedroom.

'He was here? How did he do that? Did you let him in?' I asked. My voice sounded upset, even somewhat angry, but I also felt flattered.

I walked over to my door and grabbed the little piece of paper. A short message was written on it in a messy handwriting, with a phone number at the bottom.

_Hey Emma Sawyer. Care for another coffee?..._

_ Oliver_

'When did he leave this here?' I asked as I turned around, but Gabrielle didn't pay any attention to me anymore: she was frantically searching for something in her bag.

'Shit. Shit. Where is it? Do you have any idea where I left my notebook? You know, the really messy one with the red cover that has a huge heart drawn on it from when I was with Alan?' she asked.

I shook my head. 'No idea, I haven't seen it for days. What course do you use it for?'

'Gender & Culture and Art History. Where did I last have it?'

It was quiet for a moment, then Gabrielle's face lit up. 'I know. It was at the gallery with the hot rich guy. What was his name again? Noel?'

'Noah. Are you serious? You seriously left you notebook there, knowing an essay on that very gallery was due in a few weeks, and didn't notice until now? God, sometimes I'm really surprised how you got to junior year in an actual university.' I was annoyed and showed it, even though I knew it was no use. Especially not with procrastinator Gabrielle.

Gabrielle pulled a guilty face, but slowly her pout turned into a smile, then a grin. 'You totally fell for it. Let's hope this Noah guy does the same.'

I attempted to throw the post-it at Gabrielle's face, but failed miserably. I quickly picked it up, not wanting to crumble it and lose this Oliver guy's phone number. 'Fine. We'll go. But only because you have been nagging me about it for weeks, which is probably the reason why I have totally failed my finals.'

Gabrielle raised her right index finger. 'One, you don't fail exams. You are genetically programmed to be awesome at everything academic. Two, I know you've been dying to see him again and I know you've been dreaming about that faithful day.' She drawled out the word 'dreaming.'

'Stop being so immature! When do you want to go? I'm not going before you finish that essay,' I said in a strict voice.

'Fine, I'm almost done anyway. Could you proofread it for me tonight? You're gonna owe me, I'm driving you all the way to Nassau County after all.'

When I saw Gabrielle's Bambi eyes, I started to laugh. 'Sure. I'm just gonna text this guy and then… I don't know, watch TV? I'm so bored.'

Gabrielle threw the red notebook with the heart, that she'd hidden behind her computer screen, at my back but missed when I disappeared into my room. 'Shut up!' she yelled playfully, then went back to work.


	3. Chapter 3

_Oooh I wanted so badly to upload another chapter yesterday! The fanfic server wouldn't let me though :( Please review after reading!_

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><p>'Are we sure about this? I mean, he's probably already forgotten about me. Maybe we're not even gonna see him and it's just that butler person and I really think that Oliver and I might be moving in a more exclusive direction soon anyway so we should probably just go back and uh, catch a movie at the Clearview? I heard that new one with Gwyneth Paltrow is really good.'<p>

Gabrielle grabbed my shoulder. 'Emma, stop rambling. You have only been on two dates with Oliver and we'll catch a movie when we get back, okay? I do want to see that one. But for now I need you to be focused, okay? Pull yourself together. Just wait in the hallway or whatever. I'll distract the butler.'

I swallowed and nodded almost invisibly. 'Okay. Let's do this.'

'That's my girl.'

Gabrielle knocked on the door. About thirty seconds later, the door swung open and the tight-smiling man stood in front of us. He looked at us expectantly.

'Can I help you?' he asked.

Gabrielle smiled at him. 'We were here a few weeks ago, for the gallery? I think I forgot my notebook. It's of vital importance to my academic career.'

The man nodded. 'Of course. Come in.'

We stepped into the white hall.

'I'll just…wait here,' I said softly, as Gabrielle followed the man into the gallery.

I looked around now, more than I had last time. On the outside this building looked like an Italian palazzo, but I was used to the interior of those palazzos to be abundantly decorated. Their ceilings usually had more crowded paintings than the Sistine Chapel and the rooms looked smaller than they were.

Not here. This room, all white with a few sculptures and two paintings on opposing walls, was and appeared huge. The ceiling was flat and just off-white and the one eye-catching element of the room was the enormous, again white, staircase.

Next to me was a sofa. It looked antique, but it also seemed to be in use, so I sat down, wondering how Gabrielle was distracting the butler for so long. For a while I sat, in awe at how someone could actually live here, when I heard voices. They came from upstairs, but were coming closer. In just a matter of seconds the people speaking would come downstairs, so I quickly got up.

When the people were close enough to make out what they were saying, I frowned. This wasn't a language I knew - and I knew a lot, albeit not proficiently, from my travels with my mother. Was it Italian? No, Italian was more melodious and smooth, like a song. It was definitely not Spanish.

Before I could figure out what language they were speaking, footsteps sounded very close to my ears. I looked up, right as the two people were staring me in the eyes. One of them was Noah. I had clearly taken him by surprise, but he didn't say or do anything to let me know he recognized me.

The woman next to him looked incredibly much like him and between thirty and thirty-five years old; she must be Noah's older sister. She looked at me with narrowed eyes.

'Who's this? I have never seen this girl before. I'm quite sure I know about all of your girlfriends,' she said to Noah. Her accent wasn't very American.

This confused me. All of your girlfriends? Did that mean that he was the player type of guy and I had made a huge mistake by coming here? But that wasn't possible. He had seemed so nice and mature. He was an intellectual, he had talked to me about art. Such a guy could surely not toy with girls' feelings like that, right?

Noah slowly turned his face towards his sister. 'I have no idea. She must be one of those art students. In fact, I should shut that whole visiting program down.'

The woman made a humphing sound. Even that sounded beautiful when done by her. Her sharp eyes shot an arrogant look toward him. 'I never understood why you invited them in the first place. Anyway, I should really head out now. I will see you soon, darling.'

Noah nodded, not paying any more attention to me. 'Yes, mother. I will walk you outside.'

_What?_ Mother? How was this possible? I stared at the two as they walked by, not even gracing me with one look. They really were the most beautiful people I had ever seen in real life, except the sister -no, wait, mother- looked much friendlier. Apparently she wasn't. I sat down again, holding my chin in my hands. This had been a really bad idea. We should have never driven out here. I just hoped Gabrielle would come back before Noah did. I didn't think I could bear the humiliation.

Right at that moment, the heavy door to the gallery opened and Gabrielle came into the hall, followed by the butler.

'I'm so sorry for wasting your time, I must have left it somewhere else. Thank you though!' she said to the butler, then walked outside with me, practically bouncing with excitement. 'Sooo? What happened?'

I opened my mouth to answer, then pulled Gabrielle with me behind a tree. 'Shit. There he is.' Noah came around a corner of the house, walking fast. When the front door closed behind him, I released Gabrielle from my grip.

'What the hell? This was your chance to talk to him and you didn't take it? Go back inside!' Gabrielle said, already nudging me back to the house.

'No, Gab! I did talk to him. At least, he talked to me. Sort of. He talked about me, mostly. It wasn't good. And his mother was there.'

A surprised, but excited look crossed Gabrielle's face. 'What? His mom? What did he say about you?'

I shook my head. 'Let's just go and see that movie. I'll tell you when we get back. I'm gonna call Oliver back, see if he's in for drinks later.'


	4. Chapter 4

_How did my story suddenly attract so many reviews in just a matter of minutes...? You flatter me. Thank you all so much for your kind words :)  
><em>_Just so you know: the overall plot of the story gets a little heavier after a while. You wouldn't believe the fun I'm having writing these later chapters. Good thing I still have two weeks of winter break left, haha.  
><em>_Anyway: enjoy reading, and please review!_

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><p>'That movie was <em>awesome<em>,' Gabrielle said. 'Really. The way that the main character was portrayed, you know, he's a villain but you do sympathize with him so much that you basically just want that good guy to suffer a cruel death, it's sheer genius.'

I laughed. 'Much better than the one on Wednesday. It's not like Gwyneth Paltrow acted badly, but the story was so far fetched.'

Gabrielle nodded. 'Yeah. At what time are you meeting Oliver and where?'

I looked at my watch. 'In fifteen minutes, at that new bar near my mom's apartment.'

'Let's hope you don't run into your mom, then. I'm gonna call Ash, see if she's in the neighborhood. Want me to walk you to your date?' Gabrielle offered.

'Nah, that's okay,' I said, shaking my head shortly. 'I'll be fine. Say hi to Ashley for me.'

'Will do, see you!' Gabrielle said, already walking off.

I took a deep breath. I still wasn't good at dating. After all, I had had one boyfriend all through high school and that had happened quite naturally, as he'd been the son of a family friend. In college, there had only been one guy I had dated before I'd met Oliver, and that had ended suddenly when he decided he didn't want to pin himself down. Not long after, he had a girlfriend.

I shook my head to myself. This was gonna be fine. Last time I'd seen Oliver we'd had a great date. When I'd called him three days ago, he had said he was swamped in work but was happy to meet me today. We were going to have a great time together. After all, he was the one who had taken the effort to find my apartment with only my name and neighborhood as a clue.

Oliver was waiting for me at a window table. When I approached him he got up and kissed me on the cheek. 'Hey Emma Sawyer. How are you?'

I laughed and sat down. 'I'm good. Finally on summer break. How about you?'

He sighed dramatically. 'Still swamped. I can't believe how busy I am. I'm supposed to be graduating within a matter of weeks and I can't even enjoy the idea of freedom.'

I grinned. 'Something to look forward to for me, then. How is the search for a job going?'

'I'll tell you all about that in a minute. Just let me get you a drink first. Gin fizz, right?'

'You have amazing memory. I'll get the next round,' I answered and watched him go to the bar.

I smiled. Oliver really was a good guy. He was smart but not self-righteous, he was really nice, and he remembered my favorite cocktail.

I was still looking at the bar when I spotted a familiar face, or better to say, body. Noah really stood out in a crowd. Right as Oliver came back with our drinks, Noah turned around on his bar stool, brushing the thighs of the girl he was with - one of his girlfriends, maybe? - and looked right back at me. I quickly turned my gaze back to Oliver, who had already sat down, and took his hand. I caressed his fingers with my thumb.

'I'm so happy to be here with you,' I said softly.

Oliver smiled. 'Me too. I couldn't wait for the past days to be over so I could see you again.'

Really, this was a bit too much for me, but for some reason I felt myself wanting to prove to Noah that I didn't care about seeing him here, that I had already forgotten he even existed. From the corner of my eye I saw him shifting on his stool, now with his hand on the beautiful girl's lower back.

I squeezed Oliver's hand. Why was I acting like this? It wasn't like there had been anything between Noah and me. I had only talked to him for five minutes, weeks ago. He probably barely even remembered my face. But then why was he still looking at me so intensely?

'Excuse me. I'll be right back,' I said to Oliver, smiling, and released my hand from his. I walked downstairs to the restroom, then got my cellphone out of my purse.

After a few seconds, Gabrielle picked up. 'Hey babe! Is this an emergency? Does Oliver turn out to be a complete freak? Ash and I are super close, we're picking Helen up right now. We could pick you up after.'

I walked back and forth in the narrow hallway of the restrooms. 'No. Oliver's great. He's a bit overwhelming, but great. But you're never gonna guess who is at this bar right now.'

'No. Are you serious? Is Brad Pitt really there?' I could hear giggles in the background.

'Shut up, you're not funny! You know who I'm talking about. What is he doing here anyway? I would expect him to go to hotel bars, not a place like this.'

Gabrielle was quiet for a moment. 'It's Noah?' Someone asked something on the other side of the line. 'Yeah, Noah's this hot rich asshole guy,' Gabrielle said to Ash, softly.

'What should I do, Gab? I can't ignore him, he was staring at me for a straight ten minutes. At least it felt like that.'

'Okay. Here's the game plan. You just go enjoy your date with Oliver, or he will think you are completely paranoid and that is a turnoff. I'm sure if you ignore Noah for long enough he'll stop staring and if he doesn't, call me again,' Gabrielle said.

I nodded. It made sense. Gabrielle always knew what to do in these situations; well, usually she did.

'Thanks, Gab. I'm going back now. Bye.'

'Good luck and have fun, sweetie.'

I looked at myself in the mirror, splashed some water in my face, and took a deep breath. I can do this, I said to myself, and went back upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry Emma/Noah shippers (I'm still amazed that you exist), it's still not working out. Don't stop hoping, though. :)  
>Just like before: please review! Constructive criticism is always welcome! <em>

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><p>At the top of the stairs, someone blocked my way. A tall someone. I looked up. Noah was standing a mere few inches away from me. He looked down at me, an amused look on his face.<p>

'What do you want?' I demanded.

He tilted his head. 'So you have a boyfriend, hmm?'

I stared back at him, confused. 'What do you care? Why are you here and not with your girlfriend?'

He laughed. 'Oh, no, she's not my girlfriend. This was a...business meeting.'

I tried to walk past him, but he would not let me.

'Why don't you join me for a drink?' he asked.

I looked at him like he was crazy. Which he probably was. 'Why would I do that? One day you're talking to me about art and having my friend convinced you're into me. Then suddenly I don't exist. And now you're here sabotaging my date, which I should really get back to.'

Again, I attempted to walk around him. He took a step in the same direction.

'Oh, come on. I do owe you an apology, don't I?' he said. A somewhat friendlier look shot across his face, but it was almost instantly gone as suddenly Oliver was next to him. I sighed out of relief.

'What are you doing with my girl, man?' Oliver demanded.

Noah spun, slowly. Oliver was tall, but he was nothing next to Noah.

'What do you mean? I was just offering her a drink. I didn't know she was with someone,' Noah said. I glared at him. He was annoyingly good at lying.

Oliver looked at me for confirmation. I just shrugged at him. 'Let's go,' he said, and took my arm. We sat back down at the table.

'Was he really not bothering you?' Oliver asked me, softly so Noah, who was still looking at us but back at the bar, wouldn't hear.

I shook my head. 'No, it's...it's okay. I know him.' I probably didn't sound very convincing

He grinned. 'A guy like that? He's a bit out of place here. Then again, your mom does mingle with those people, right?'

I chuckled. 'He's not a family friend. He's not a friend at all.'

Oliver looked a bit concerned. 'You sure you don't want me to beat him up? I can do it.

'Have you seen the guy? He's _huge_. I don't think anyone could beat him up. Sorry.'

Oliver shortly looked at Noah and nodded. 'You're probably right. Anyway, what were we talking about?'

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><p>Gabrielle rolled around on the bed, reaching for the bag of M&amp;Ms.<p>

'You didn't even let him walk you home? What is wrong with you?' she asked me.

'I don't know, it was just weird. And he seemed head over heels at some moment and then I was a bit worried that he would, you know, want to come here and that just didn't seem right. You know what I mean?'

'Yeah, but still. Leaving him at the bar also doesn't seem right...almost as if you're not interested in him.'

I sighed and bit through an M&M. 'He knows I'm interested. I told him. He said he'd call me.'

Gabrielle looked at me pensively. 'Oh well. We'll see. I gotta take a shower. I've got an interview later this morning.' She yawned.

I sat up. 'What? An interview for what?' I asked.

Gabrielle stood up and took one more M&M. 'Oh, you know, just an internship at one of the best marketing agencies in the city.' She said it with a bored look on her face, but I knew she was incredibly proud of herself.

'That's great, Gab! I didn't even know you had applied!' I said, genuinely happy for Gabrielle.

Gabrielle made a face. 'Oh, well, we don't all have mothers who like to take us to Europe every summer and then let us do whatever we want every single day.'

I laughed and pushed Gabrielle towards the bathroom. 'Come on. You don't want to be late.'


	6. Chapter 6

_'tis a short one - that's why you're getting another chapter right after this one._

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><p>Four days later Oliver still hadn't called. He also hadn't replied to my texts. In the meantime, Gabrielle had packed her bags and gone back to her family in Connecticut for a few weeks, before her internship started and she'd be back. I myself had only a month left before I would go to Italy with my mother. I really did want to see Oliver before then. I picked up my phone for the fiftieth time that morning to check for new messages. Nothing.<p>

'Fine,' I muttered and got out of bed. I started undressing to take a shower when my laptop beeped softly. A new e-mail. In my tank top and boy shorts, I sat down at my desk.

Impossible. The e-mail had been sent by Noah Chevalier. I opened the message, still a bit hesitant.

_Emma,_

_I know you probably don't feel like talking after our previous encounters, but I would really like to apologize for my behavior. I am still in the city until a week from now. When can you meet me?_

_Noah_

I stared at the message. What was I supposed to do? I knew I couldn't reach Gabrielle right now, and all my other friends were out of town and didn't know the story of Noah anyway. Oh well. I sent Gabrielle a quick text, then started typing a mail back to Noah.

_Hi Noah,_

_You're right, I don't feel like talking to you. You're lucky though, 'cause I'm not busy today and I do want to hear your explanation. Are you available for a quick lunch?_

_Emma_

Before I could stop myself, I hit 'send,' then got up to take my shower. As always, in the shower I was over-thinking everything. Had I been lying in my e-mail? Noah had been a huge jackass to me, but for some reason I did want to see him. And if Oliver wasn't contacting me anyway…I could just as well meet Noah. As I was drying myself, a new e-mail popped up on my laptop screen. Curiously I opened it.

_Hey Emma,_

_I will be busy around lunch time, but I can do coffee. How about five? I'll pick you up._

_Noah_

For a split second, I caught myself being disappointed that he couldn't make lunch. I quickly pulled myself together and replied to his e-mail, confirming our appointment and added my address. Then, I got up to pick out my clothes for the day.


	7. Chapter 7

_Tomorrow's chapter's gonna be super long!  
>Please review after reading :)<em>

* * *

><p>At exactly five the doorbell rang. 'Hmm. Punctual,' I mumbled, got my purse and walked downstairs. I had put on the perfect outfit: a pretty yet perfectly casual, non-date dress.<p>

I gasped as I opened the door for Noah. I had always had a thing for men in suits, but this one turned that thing into an absolute obsession: he looked positively gorgeous in his perfectly tailored navy suit (although without the jacket) and light blue shirt that somehow made his eyes look even more green.

No. I mentally slapped myself. This was not a date, this was simply a meeting in which he would be begging for my forgiveness. That was, after all, what Gabrielle had told me when Noah had been staring at me and Oliver for the rest of the evening, but never actually offering his apologies.

'Hi,' I said, trying to keep a clear mind.

'Hey,' Noah replied with a smile. 'Shall we go? I know that you probably know this part of the city better, but there is a great coffee place on the other side of the park.'

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I took his arm when he offered his and walked along, not saying anything for a while.

Noah's cellphone rang. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. 'Oh, I'm sorry, I have to take this,' he said, and answered the phone. 'Noah Chevalier. Oh, hi, Iris. No, I'm busy right now, when does he need me? … I'm not sure I will make 5:30. Tonight's better. … Yes, I'll be there. And, Iris…' He quickly looked at me, then added something in that same language he had been speaking to his mother. It was definitely familiar, but I couldn't place it and he was also speaking too fast.

Noah ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket. 'I'm really sorry. Business keeps creeping up,' he said, chuckling for a bit.

'What do you do?' I asked. Business meetings with beautiful women at bars, meetings late at night, secret messages in unknown languages…it was all a bit sketchy.

'It's…complicated. I'm in the family business, we're pretty much all over the place. My dad is coincidentally also my boss,' he explained. 'I'm in charge of…let's call it international relations.'

I nodded. That didn't really sound too weird. It still didn't explain the strange meetings, but I decided to let it go. For now.

'Did you grow up in this city?' he asked suddenly.

I looked up. He seemed sincerely interested in my answer. 'No,' I said. 'I was born in California. But then my mom got her job at Columbia, and my dad and I came with her. My brother was already in college, so he stayed in California.'

Noah nodded. 'Do you miss it?'

I thought about that question for a moment. I never had before. 'Sometimes,' I admitted. 'But I love living here. And I did go to high school here, so I did some growing up in New York.'

He smiled. 'That's true.'

'How about you? You're not American, are you?'

'How did you know?' he said, grinning.

'It's not hard to guess. You don't look it, your name sounds French and you speak a weird language with your family.'

Noah laughed. 'You mean Italian. It's just a dialect. You're right, we're not from here. Our name is just a bit off. I did spend the last twenty years here, though.'

So I'd been wrong. There wasn't a secret code language. Then I had only a few more mysteries to crack.

'Here we are,' Noah said. We had just exited the park on the Eastern side and were now standing in front of a nice-looking coffee shop. 'After you.' He opened the door for me and I walked in.

'I'm going to get some coffee, you pick a table. What do you want?'

'Uh, a cappuccino would be nice,' I said and sat down at the nearest table. He nodded and walked over to the counter. He ordered in Italian - it did sound a bit different this time, but this was probably just standard Italian - and soon came back and sat down with two cups of coffee.

'So. We did meet for a reason,' I started, a bit nervous. 'I'm not just here for coffee and to talk about my family, or yours.'

'You're right. I am here to apologize, and that is exactly what I will do,' he said and took a sip of his latte macchiato. 'I am very sorry to have acted like I had no idea who you were when you came to my house and I am sorry that I acted like an upperclass jerk. In fact…'

'What?' I asked. He had suddenly stopped talking.

'No, never mind. I am also sorry for the idiotic way I was acting at the bar earlier this week. The truth is I hated seeing you with that guy.'

I frowned at him. 'Why? I thought you hated me. You made sure of that.'

He smiled. 'No. I don't. But that doesn't matter, because you have a boyfriend. Or did I completely destroy your date?'

I shook my head. 'You didn't. But I think I did.'

Noah raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask anything else. I sighed and decided to let that subject rest for a while. I didn't want to think about Oliver right now.

'That still doesn't explain why you acted so strange at your house,' I said.

'That is…a long story. Let's just say my mother does not really approve of people outside our social class.' He seemed perfectly comfortable saying that, as if I had not just put him in a somewhat compromising position and as if there was no problem talking about social class with a girl who was so obviously not in his.

'So again, I am so sorry. I should not have done that.'

I nodded slowly. 'Apologies accepted.' I took another sip of my cappuccino.

He didn't answer, but looked at me thoughtfully. 'Why did you come back?' he then asked.

I looked at the table and played with my coffee spoon, then looked back up at his face. 'Gabrielle forgot her notebook. Thought it'd still be at the gallery.'

Noah smiled. 'I don't believe you.'

'Fine.' I glared at him. 'She made me go back to see you again. Didn't turn out to be such a good idea.'

He shook his head. 'It wasn't.'

Now I was confused. He had just said he was sorry for that day, and now he agreed that I shouldn't have done it? 'But, you said…'

He cut my sentence short. 'It wasn't a good idea at that moment. I'm not saying I don't want to see you. Your timing was just not very good.'

This guy was just all over the place. Just by saying one thing he came across as wanting to see me but also accusing me of things at the same time. Then, my phone buzzed. 'Oh...I'm sorry,' I said and looked at my phone.

'OMG! Are you meeting him? When? What does he want from you?' read Gabrielle's text. I smiled and put my phone back without texting Gabrielle back.

Noah was staring out the window. I took the opportunity to drink the last bit of my cappuccino. It was quiet for about fifteen seconds; then Noah seemed to be back to the here and now and cleared his throat.

'I'm being boring, sorry. I was thinking about a meeting I just had.'

I shrugged. 'That's okay.' He was right, he _was_ being boring. If this were a date, I would already have left him...just like I left Oliver. No. I should stop thinking about that. I was here with Noah, who was apparently interested in me after all, and for some reason I didn't even want to leave.

I suddenly realized something. 'You said you hated seeing me with Oliver. Why? Why would you say that if you don't even know me?'

He looked me in the eye, clearly choosing his words carefully. 'You may not realize it, but when I met you, you made a huge impression on me. Seeing you at the bar was a coincidence, I did not mean for that to happen…but I was glad that it did. And then the night is a little blurry, so I don't recall exactly why I decided to make an idiot out of myself.'

I nodded. That wasn't really an answer to my question…but I was obviously not going to get it any time soon.

'I'm afraid I have to go. There's this dinner party at my sister's house which I really cannot miss,' Noah said then. He finished his coffee.

'Oh…okay. Have fun, I guess?' I said, a bit disappointed. Even though he had barely given me any explanations and he was being so unclear and...distant, I did want to keep talking to him.

He got up and put his jacket on. 'So I gather you're not seeing this Oliver anymore? I would like to take you out on an actual date and prove to you that I am worthy of it.'

I thought about this for a moment. Yes, the last two times I had seen him had made me believe that he wasn't a good guy, and maybe he really wasn't, but it couldn't hurt to give him a second chance. 'Sure.'

Noah smiled. 'Great. Are you busy tomorrow night?'

I shook my head. 'Not yet.'

'Okay, I'll cook you dinner. This is my address…'

After Noah had walked me home, I checked my cellphone again. Another text from Gabrielle, pressing me to give her some details, and...nothing from Oliver. I decided to just forget about him and texted Gabrielle back, just to let her know that I had already met with Noah and was in fact meeting him again the day after.

Not much later, my phone buzzed again. It seemed Gabrielle was more excited than me about the date…then again, Gabrielle always told me that I wasn't dating enough. Maybe dating an older guy would finally convince her that really, I didn't need such encouragements.

Ignoring Gabrielle's text, I put on my pajamas and started to make dinner for myself. This story was better told in person, so my best friend would have to wait a little longer before hearing all about it.


	8. Chapter 8

The elevator music in Noah's building was different. This was not atmospheric jazzy music - it did not relax me at all. Luckily, the elevator was fast and it didn't take long before I was at the ninth floor. A soft _ding_ sounded and the doors slid open quietly. I stepped into the hallway, about to knock on Noah's front door, when I heard his voice. Loudly.

'...be serious. You really want me to make a deal with _him_? I'm not doing it.'

There was a short pause. Apparently Noah had a phone call. I hesitated and lowered my hand. He sounded angry, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to witness that.

'I don't _make_ deals, father! When are you finally going to realize that? … Is that what he said? I'll end him. I'll just get my - … I know that! Just give me Argentina. … Chile then. … You want me to go back to Thrace? I'll do it. I'll do it without a doubt - no, father. … I know. … Fine. I'll see you tomorrow. But we're not done with this conversation.'

It was quiet now. I looked at my watch. I wasn't early; in fact, I was a bit late. Right as I lifted my hand again to knock, the door opened. Noah looked a bit startled seeing me, his green eyes blazing with anger.

'H-Hi…' I said, nervous again. Maybe this wasn't a good moment to see him.

His shocked and still very angry expression quickly turned into a friendly one. 'Hey. Come in.'

I nodded, still a bit uneasy, and went into his apartment. It wasn't as large as I had expected and, more importantly, there wasn't any decoration save for an antique shotgun and an 18th-century painting depicting a scene from the Trojan war. A large table stood in the center of the living room, a sofa and chairs with a TV in the corner.

'You have a nice apartment. It's just…I expected something more after seeing that mansion.'

Noah laughed. 'I'm not here that often. I didn't feel the need to own a ten million dollar penthouse. I also don't have staff here, which means it's just us.'

I chuckled. 'Good,' I said, 'I was already worried someone would interrupt our date.'

He laid a hand on my back, gently pushing me with him to the kitchen. I smiled. 'So what are we having for dinner?'

Noah's right hand was still on my back, just above my buttocks, but he didn't let go of me as he used his other hand to stir in one of the pans. 'Gnocchi. You'll love it, everyone does.'

'Sounds Italian.'

'Oh, and it sure is. Do you like spicy food or not?'

I nodded. 'I love it.'

'Good.' Noah started to put all kinds of herbs and spices in the pan with the sauce. 'It'll be done in five minutes. Why don't you put on some music? Stereo's over there.' He pointed to the living room with a ladle and released me from his grip.

I walked over to the bookcase. There were at least a hundred CDs: more than I expected in a home that was hardly ever used. After a minute of scanning them, I picked a CD and turned the stereo on. This music wasn't very romantic, but then he didn't really have any romantic music.

'Radiohead,' I heard Noah call from the kitchen, 'Nice. I like your taste.'

I smiled and went back to the kitchen, where he was making some finishing touches on the food. 'I like yours,' I said. He looked back at me, grinning, but not saying anything as he kept cooking.

'I didn't expect you to cook at all, to be honest,' I admitted.

He shrugged. 'One has to learn at some point, right?'

'Maybe you don't. I'm sure you have a fantastic chef back at the other house.'

The grin returned to his face. 'I do. But for occasions like this...I like to make an exception.'

I nodded, not grinning or smiling back at him. I wondered how many of these occasions he had, and whether I was the only girl he was seeing right now. Knowing the golden first date rules, though, I wisely kept my mouth shut on that subject.

'Dinner's served,' Noah said and carried two plates of gnocchi to the dinner table. Then, he led me to the table, too, and pulled a chair back for me. He sat down on the opposite side of the table, raised his wine glass to me - I did the same - and started eating.

I took a bite. 'Noah,' I said, surprised, 'This is delicious.'

He smiled. 'I told you you'd like it. Thanks.'

I swallowed another bite, then looked up at him. 'So…I already told you some things about me, but I barely know anything about you,' I said.

'What do you want to know?' he asked, putting his cutlery down.

'I...don't know. It just feels like I don't know you at all, and I really don't, but still…' I was nervous. Noah made me nervous. I knew I was only seconds away from rambling like an idiot.

'Okay.' He nodded, swallowing a bite. 'I am, as you know, Noah Chevalier, twenty-six years old. I studied history at Yale and I am currently working for my father, although I would love to get away from having to work with my family. I was born in Southern Europe but my father decided that it would be better for the...company to be centered here, so we moved.'

I laughed. 'I didn't ask for an autobiography, but thanks. Do you go back often?'

He nodded again. 'At least once every month, and sometimes I stay for a long time. But usually that's just for work purposes. Although I do enjoy Italy.' He smiled, and I could see that he really did love his home country.

'So the family business. Sounds like you have a lot of brothers and sisters.'

'I do.'

'And you're the oldest?'

Noah laughed. 'No. I have an older brother and sister, plus my father had twins with another woman before I was born.'

I frowned. 'Seriously? You have two older siblings? Then how does your mother look so...young?'

He laughed again, softer this time. 'So you noticed. I suppose she has amazing moisturizer.'

I smiled, chuckling under my breath. 'What's your family like? You said you want to leave the company?'

He made a face. 'Yeah. My half-brother, Luca, is the golden boy of the family, and then my sister Sophia is incredibly smart. My younger siblings are okay, though they look up more to those two than to me.'

I smiled sweetly. 'I'm sure you have your own qualities.' He must have some kind of talent; after all, I had witnessed him talking about art and ancient history with passion. There was something hidden there, but apparently he didn't realize it himself.

He smiled back, but he seemed absent-minded and his smile was joyless.

'What's wrong?' I asked.

Noah shook his head. 'Nothing. Hey, your food's getting cold.'

I looked down. I had almost forgotten that we were eating and quickly took a bite. The gnocchi truly was delicious. 'Maybe this is your quality,' I said playfully, and he finally chuckled.

'So, Emma…' he started.

'Yes?' I answered.

'I wanted to thank you for giving me a chance to show you that I'm really not such a jackass as I made myself look.'

I ate the last of my gnocchi, then put the cutlery down. I did this all very slowly, then glanced back at him with a hopefully very serious look on my face. 'I may have forgiven you, but I don't forget.'

He raised an eyebrow, looking disappointed and maybe even a bit hurt. As my face fell, though, he started to laugh.

'You…'

I giggled, something I rarely ever did, but I was just glad I finally wasn't nervous anymore.

'How will I ever punish you for that?' He looked at me, thoughtfully, but with a cheerful look in his eyes.

'I don't know. Run four laps around the block?'

'Hmm. That won't do. I think I'll have to tickle you until you beg me to stop.'

Before he had even finished that sentence he had already picked me up, easily carrying me with one arm, tickling me in my waist, a grin shaping on his face.

'You're never going to escape this punishment!' he shouted, apparently not even giving a damn about his neighbors.

'No! Stop it!' I shouted back. I was extremely ticklish, and he had found my weak spot.

'Oh, but I'm having so much fun and you deserve it!'

As he continued tickling me, I laughed so hard tears were forming in my eyes. I tried to push myself away from his chest so he would let me go, but it was useless - his grip, even with one arm, was so strong that he wouldn't move one inch.

'Stop it! Please!' I begged. He stopped, but didn't let go of me. Instead, he shifted my weight and put his other arm around me as well.

'That seemed sufficient. Will you forget now?'

'Never.'

'You shouldn't have said that.' His lips shaped into a mischievous grin.

'Oh, no...not again,' I said, sighing demonstratively.

Noah shook his head. 'Not that. But this.' Without any signal of announcement or warning he planted a kiss on my cheek, dangerously close to my lips. I smiled, pulled my head back a bit and looked into his green eyes. They reminded me of a forest near my old house in California.

'How is that a punishment?' I asked, putting my arms around his neck; mainly for stability, but I also just really wanted to.

'It's really bad as far as punishments go, isn't it?' he said, slightly tilting his head to the side. 'Maybe I should just give up.'

'I think you should,' I agreed, nodding solemnly. He then carried me to the sofa, one arm holding my body, his other hand lightly on my back. 'You're strong,' I commented, as if he didn't know that.

He laughed. 'You're just such a lightweight, you can't even survive my attacks.'

I pouted. 'You are an unfair opponent.'

He put me down on the sofa and sat down next to me. 'I know. I don't play fair, ever.'

I was about to agree with him when his cellphone rang. He sighed. 'Not even in business. I wish I could just let it ring, but I'm afraid there is some...situation. Do you have one very short minute?'

I nodded. He got up, kissed my cheek and walked away into the kitchen. 'Father. What is it?'

While he was talking to his father, I looked around again. The CD had ended and, apart from his voice, it was quiet. I couldn't even hear the traffic outside. I got up and looked out the large window. His apartment might not be very luxurious, but he had an amazing view of Central Park from here.

'It has escalated? … I can't even leave for one hour, can I? … No.'

An eagle perched on a tree branch right across the street from the window. Tourists were taking pictures of it, annoying a man in a suit who almost bumped into them. In the distance, I could see my favorite museum in the world. I had never seen it from this angle.

'I can't just leave. Can't it wait until tomorrow? … No, father, I would really appreciate it if -'

Noah sounded annoyed. I turned my back to the window, the eagle and the tourist, and tapped my foot on the floor.

'I am unable to go there right now. What about...Sophia?' He added something in his Italian dialect.

I walked over to the table and started to tidy it, looking at Noah who was making wild gestures, looking angry again, but not sounding as mad as he had before he'd opened the door for me. He caught my eye, waving his hand at me as if to say I shouldn't do it, so I shrugged and went back to the sofa.

'Later, then. Yes, I could make the council meeting. At your place? … Yes. And father…' Another part in the dialect. He sighed as he came back to the living room and sat down. 'I'm so sorry, something's come up. I don't have to leave right now but we're going to have to cut this date short.'

I frowned. 'What is it?'

He shrugged, a bored look on his face. 'Stuff that they need me for.'

I cocked my head to the side. 'You are a mysterious man, Noah Chevalier.'

'But you like it.'

'But I like it,' I confirmed, leaning into him. He put his arm around my shoulder.

'Emma, I don't want to go to a council meeting. I want to stay here with you,' he said. It sounded incredibly sincere; I hadn't expected such honesty from him.

'So do it. Your life doesn't revolve around work, does it?' I looked up into his eyes, his arm sliding off of my shoulders.

He half-smiled, a bit apologetically. 'It sort of does.'

'What kind of a life is that?' I asked him with a smile.

'A lonely one, which is why I'm happy to have you here.' He pulled my face closer and kissed me on my lips. A chill went down my spine. In that moment he seemed to glow and I felt as if sparkles were traveling between our lips, as he kissed me more aggressively and lifted my body onto his. His hands squeezed my butt cheeks before moving upwards on my back, practically forcing me to push myself against him. His phone buzzed again, but this time he chose to ignore it and grabbed my hair with one hand, though not pulling on it, and holding my neck with the other. I rushed a hand through his hair, smiling into the kiss, while he hungrily sucked on my lower lip. He was about to take my top off, when I stopped him.

'Not now.'

He moaned a bit, kissing me between my collarbones, but his firm grip weakened and he leaned back. I sat back, still perching on his knees.

'When am I ever going to be able to see you as long as I want?' he murmured.

I shrugged. 'Depends on your parents, I suppose.'

He chuckled. 'Even at this age they still control my life.'

I looked down. 'If you have to go…I'm not going to stop you. Your work is more important, right?'

He looked at me for a few seconds, as though he was debating this question in his head. 'I'm not sure what my priorities are right now.'

Again, his phone buzzed.

'Your father doesn't seem to agree with that,' I half-joked.

He shook his head. 'That's probably Iris, making sure everyone's coming tonight.'

I nodded. 'Right.' Another name. This Iris's task sounded like she was a secretary, so she probably wasn't one of his family members.

'Seems like we have a little under an hour left before I have to be at the meeting. Shall I walk you home?' he offered.

'Please,' I replied. I got up, so that he could stand. His shirt had come untucked, so he tucked it back into his trousers and took my hand, after I had picked up my purse. 'Let's go.'

* * *

><p>'I had a great time tonight,' I said as we were standing in front of my building after an extra-long walk in the park.<p>

'Me too,' he agreed, smiling.

'Have fun at your council meeting.'

'Not going to happen, but thanks. Good night.' He kissed me on the cheek.

I unlocked my door. 'Thanks for dinner-' I said, but when I turned around, he was already gone and nowhere to be seen.


	9. Chapter 9

Noah and I had been seeing one another nearly each day, and night, in the past three weeks. I had shown him my favorite places in the city from when I was a child and he had taught me bits of Italian and cooked for me almost every time we saw each other. I never heard from Oliver again.

One day, Gabrielle convinced me to surprise Noah after work with a small gift. We went shopping - she also needed to buy her family some gifts - and I chose the best romantic yet casual gift I could find. I really wanted to make an impression on him today. I was falling in love with him, and hard.

I knocked on the door, the clumsily wrapped little present in my hand. After a few seconds the door opened, revealing Noah...in full classical bronze body armor. Most of the scars that his body was covered in were gone. That was not the worst, though. His face was smeared with blood, sweat and mud. His skin had been cut open in several places, dried blood covering the wounds. His usually curly hair stuck to his head and was no longer brown but more like maroon, due to all the blood. The box in my hands dropped to the ground.

'Noah? Why are you wearing that? What's happening?' I asked, confused. I stepped inside, ignoring his begging me to please, please go away, it wasn't a good time.

'Mmmmm.' The beautiful sound rang through the air. 'I didn't know human food could be so delicious.'

I looked at Noah, inquiring. He looked back at me but did nothing to assure me that things were the least bit okay, or even explain anything. I barely recognized his face from the expression he bore. It was the purest emotion I had ever seen him have, although I couldn't tell what emotion that was. Even through all the blood and dirt on him he was more imposing than ever, he stood taller and stronger than ever. He seemed to have some sort of golden glow around him although it was more like something I could feel than see. He was terrifying, but magnificent.

The woman that had spoken stepped out of the kitchen into the living room, licking her fingers. She raised an eyebrow. 'And who might this be?'

I gasped. Noah's good looks were nothing compared to this gorgeous woman's. She oozed beauty from every pore. She looked like a supermodel but more beautiful; she was confident but frail; she was short yet seemed tall from her stature. Her long golden locks flowed around her perfect body that was curvy in all the right places, her skin creamy white but warm. Her soft red lips were shaped like they were meant to kiss or be kissed. Her eyes were a perfect blue like the sky on a hot summer day and the golden glow that Noah was radiating was much clearer around her. Her clothes were simple but somehow suited her perfectly: she wore an elegant white dress made of soft, thin material that clung to her body.

I turned to Noah, still confused. 'Noah?' I said, more urgently now. 'What's going on? Who is this?'

He raised his hands, drawing my attention to the bronze-tipped spear that stood in the corner behind him - also covered in blood. 'I can explain,' he said hastily. His face sounded much lower and deeper than before, it was almost unnatural.

'Can you?' I hissed. That would be the first time he would ever really explain anything to me.

'No…I can't.' He bit his lower lip.

'Oh, it's simple,' the woman's voice sounded.

Noah looked up at her and shook his head. 'Aph, don't-' he started.

The woman shrugged and smiled at him. 'But it is not my place to tell this girl. Why don't you, Ares?'

I looked from one to the other. 'Noah, why is she calling you Ares? Who is she?' In the back of my mind I knew what was going on, but my heart didn't seem to want to understand.

Noah stepped closer to me, taking my elbow. 'Sit down, please.'

I shook myself loose from his grasp and straightened my back. 'No, I will not sit down until you tell me!'

He sighed. 'Fine.' The woman disappeared into the kitchen, probably to get more food. Noah sat down on the headrest of the sofa. He still had to look down to look me in the eyes.

'Everything you know about me is a lie. Well…' He cocked his head to the side. 'I never actually lied to you. But I never told you the truth, either.'

'Stop talking around it. I just want to know what is happening here.'

'I used to be a god,' he said then, 'but I'm not sure if you can still call me that.'

That silenced me. The woman had come back and was now standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a plate with food in her hands. She looked amused, but also concerned about something.

'Don't tell her everything, Ares,' she warned him.

His head jerked towards her. 'Stop telling me what to do. You don't control me, Aphrodite.'

My mouth fell agape. 'This is Aphrodite?' Of course, I should have guessed. It was obvious from the way they both looked who they were, once I knew they were ancient gods. Gods…they didn't even exist, so I'd always thought. How could I be looking at two of them right now?

I then remembered the old myth. Aphrodite had been married to Ares' ugly, limp brother Hephaestus, but she was fairly in love with Ares, the war god. They had had an affair, but then they were caught by Hephaestus. I didn't know how and if the affair ever ended. Maybe it hadn't. Maybe that was why she was here. I was smart enough to realize, however, how trivial that all was in the current situation. It didn't matter that Noah was cheating on me, if I was even the one being cheated on…whoever was the cheater in this story.

'Shouldn't you guys be...dead?' The words had escaped my mouth before it hit me what they even meant.

Aphrodite laughed. 'Honey, you should have paid more attention in school. Gods are divine, therefore immortal.'

Noah was still looking at her, obviously annoyed and getting angry. 'Can't you just leave?'

She pouted. I had never seen anyone pout so beautifully and convincingly. 'Aw, but this is getting exciting. How could you ever deny me excitement?' The ambiguity of her words echoed in my ears like a drum.

He stood up, towering over her. 'Just go, Aphrodite.' He looked so powerful and intimidating, I didn't see why Aphrodite wasn't afraid of him.

She pushed him away, but her fragile attempt didn't do much for her. 'I don't want to go! I know that you're falling for this mortal. I want to stay, it is my job after all.' She smiled sweetly at him, but behind the words I could hear anger building in her voice. I watched it all, amazed at her beauty, but also terrified of the two of them.

Noah's face had distorted into an expression of inhumane fury. 'I said _leave!_' he shouted, his deep voice bellowing through the room, or probably through the entire city. I took a step backwards, stumbling over something and almost falling down. They didn't seem to notice. I grabbed a chair for support, then let myself slide down the wall until I was sitting on the ground in the corner of the room.

Aphrodite scowled at Noah. Even then she was gorgeous. When she had disappeared, Noah turned around. With two long strides he was at my side, crouching down to wipe away my tears. I leaned away from him, turning my body so I wouldn't have to face him.

He took my chin and turned my face towards him, obviously trying to be gentle but failing. I rubbed my cheek: it had hurt a bit.

'Emma…' he said softly. 'I didn't mean for you to find out like this.'

A tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. 'Did you mean for me to find out at all?'

Noah was silent for some time as he looked down to his knees, covered in blood-stained armor. 'I'm not sure about that.'

I clumsily got up holding onto the chair. He stood up in a split second, holding my waist with both hands. I shook my head.

'Just…take a shower or something, if you even need to. Can you meet me in the park at the Boathouse around three? I need answers.' I figured if we would meet at a public place such as the Boathouse, he would have to appear human. It would make dealing with this a lot easier for me, probably.

He nodded curtly, a seemingly relieved sigh escaping his breath, and released me. 'I'll see you there.'


	10. Chapter 10

_This chapter (and the following, until I say otherwise) is told from Noah's (or Ares'...) perspective. Review after reading please!_

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><p>With jeans and a fresh shirt on and my wounds covered in bandages, I threw a little pebble into the water. I was sitting on a rock beside the pond, not too far away from the Boathouse. I sighed, looking up to see if Emma was already there. She wasn't.<p>

Suddenly, I felt a divine presence nearby. Hermes. I stood up, not bothering to brush the dirt off my clothes, and looked around for him. He was standing right in front of the Boathouse.

'What are you doing here?' I asked him when close enough.

'Keeping an eye on you.' Hermes looked at me, disapprovingly. He was wearing casual clothes, like me, but his golden wing-tipped shoes were on his feet.

'Careful, baby brother. You're attracting mortal attention.' I raised an eyebrow at my half-brother.

He scowled at me. '_You_ had better be _careful_ with that girl of yours. You've revealed our secret,' Hermes said, pressing his index finger into my chest. It was not very impressive, as he was much shorter than me. 'I always knew it was going to be you. You're too reckless, too impulsive. It's a miracle you've been able to hide yourself for so long.'

I slapped his hand away from me and grabbed his shoulder. '_Don't_ talk to me like that,' I hissed to him between my teeth. 'If mortals are going to find out about us anyway, I could just as well drive my spear through your heart.'

Hermes surprised me by starting to laugh. 'If you want to keep your girl, you'd better not do that.' He nodded at something behind me. I turned around. Emma was standing there and she was close enough to have heard everything. She looked afraid and so innocent, with her summer dress and long blonde hair. My face fell and I walked towards her, taking her hand. When she refused and tried to get away from me, I released her hand but placed mine on her shoulder, so she wouldn't run away.

Hermes voice sounded behind me and she looked up. 'Zeus has already called a meeting. He's going to want you there,' he said.

I shook my head. 'I'm not going. Tell him that if he wants to see me, he'll have to come here.'

Hermes now glanced at me with a very amused look on his face. 'You never miss the opportunity to shake up a council meeting. What is it about this girl that's keeping you here in the mortal world?'

From the corner of my eye, I saw that Emma was looking up at me with narrowed, but surprised eyes. I held her shoulder more tightly and kept looking at Hermes, refusing to answer his question. 'Don't you have a meeting to attend, Hermes?' I felt fury boiling inside me but attempted to hold myself back. If I were to fight him, I should wait until we were not in public.

Hermes glared at me, but he had learned when not to provoke me. 'Fine. I will let father know you're too…busy to come. Nice to meet you, Emma.' He nodded at Emma, then walked away, flying away as soon as he was hidden by the trees. To Emma, this would look as if he simply disappeared.


	11. Chapter 11

I took a deep breath and turned to face Emma. She looked up at me.

'He seems…nice,' she said softly.

I shrugged and walked over to a table at the restaurant, still holding her shoulder. I pulled a chair back for her, then sat down on another one. 'So. Answers.'

A waitress came to our table to take our orders. I quickly ordered two cups of coffee without looking at her, instead trying to measure the mood between Emma and me.

Emma had acted relaxed when the waitress was there, but stiffened again now that she was gone. She bit her lip shortly. 'Why were you covered in blood?'

'You know who I am, right?'

She nodded. 'Ares. God of War.'

'Ssh, not so loud,' I said, looking around if anyone had heard. I moved closer to her so that we could speak a little softer. 'Not everyone needs to know.'

'Right.'

'I had just returned from battle,' I explained. And oh, what a battle it had been! Most battles these days were fought with big guns and extreme strategy made them boring; this one, however, had been in a place that had only recently been discovered by Western society, and the men still used old-fashioned weapons. It had been glorious.

'You? In bronze armor?' she asked skeptically. 'Doesn't that raise questions?' I nodded, grinning a bit.

'It would, normally. But this time, it didn't. Not as much.'

The waitress came back with our coffee. Without saying anything, she put the cups on our table, then walked away. She had picked up on the tension between Emma and me.

Emma took a sip, still eyeing me curiously. 'And Aphrodite? Why was she there?'

I looked away from her intense gaze. 'Cleaning my wounds.'

'She didn't seem to be very good at that. Couldn't you do it yourself?'

I looked back at her now, irritated. I didn't want to be irritated by Emma. What if I were to lose my temper? 'No, Emma, I couldn't. She really was there only for that reason. Can't you just trust me on that?'

Emma bit her lip again. 'The myth of you and Aphrodite is one of the bedtime stories my mom told me. If you can't understand why I don't trust you with her, I'm not sure if I should even be here right now.'

'Is my cheating on you, which I wasn't doing, really the most important issue here?' I asked, wishing fervently she wouldn't get up and leave.

She stared into the distance behind me. 'I don't know. Are you still Noah?'

I silenced. The truth was, I didn't know who I was. After hundreds of years of living like a mortal, after centuries of pretending to be someone other than Ares, I wasn't even sure about my own identity. 'I've never been Noah, Emma,' I said finally. 'That name is just a cover.'

'What about that life? That personality? Is that even you? Or are you wholly a lie?' She was firing these questions at me like they were bullets. I loved that about her. I loved how strong she was emotionally, how she could hold on to composure even after learning earth-shattering news.

I shook my head. 'That life is my life. Like I told you, I never actually lied to you. Noah…is me, without the godly parts.' It felt strange talking about myself like that. That name didn't even matter, but to her it did, apparently. I suddenly remembered a quote from Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_: 'That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.' While the choice of words didn't seem to apply to me, the gist of it certainly was true.

'But the bad parts define you.' The sound of Emma's voice pulled me back from my thoughts. 'I don't know much about…' She swallowed. '…about Ares, but I know that he was the worst of all the gods.'

At that moment she did not seem to realize that it was really me she was talking about, but what she said hurt me. 'That is what the stories tell you,' I said. I played with my napkin and refused to look her in the eyes, no matter how hard she tried to catch my glance.

'But how can you even be good?' She sounded as if she was truly trying to understand. 'Aren't you a killer? Aren't you power hungry?'

I looked up now, my eyes sparkling with annoyance. I was not really annoyed at _her,_ now; it was the stories that made me look like a ruthless murderer. Maybe I was a murderer. But that was always with good reason, and I was never emotionless doing it.

'I could have killed my father, like he did, like his father did, and ruled the world. I didn't. I'm not _like_ that.' I said it hastily, now a bit louder but none of the people surrounding us seemed to notice…yet.

'That doesn't explain your bloodlust,' she said defensively. How was I ever going to get through to her? This was useless.

'Emma,' I said urgently. 'Can't you just forget about those _fucking_ stories and listen to me?'

She looked afraid again, afraid I would snap and lose control. She had good reason for it, too: it took everything in me to not let desperation at her refusal to believe me take over.

'Do you even know who wrote them? Stupid, ignorant poets who hardly ever met any of us. They had no idea. They needed to add drama to their songs.'

'So everything my mother told me about you is untrue?' Her voice was now so soft and so scared that all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and console her, to convince her this was all a dream and that I, Noah, would make everything okay. I had to tell her what she wanted to know, though. I had promised her.

'I'm not going to deny that savage war and complete rage and chaos is what I am in every fibre of my body and every part of my soul. I'm not going to tell you that all the myths are wrong. I have done things that you wouldn't agree with.' I made the conscious decision to not say that I regretted those things. I didn't, after all. 'I ask you, however, to believe me when I say that I am also just a man.'

Emma swallowed. It was quiet for a while. Neither of us had touched our cups of coffee since a long time. Her voice was still soft and nervous when she spoke again.

'I just…I don't know how I will ever feel comfortable around you again.' She took a deep breath, obviously preparing for what she was going to say next. 'I'm scared of you, Noah.' She looked into my eyes, clearly confused about what to call me.

I nodded. 'I know.' I had no idea how to change that. I had never planned for her to know all of this. This was exactly the reaction I would have expected from her. 'I…' I looked away, a bit nervous. I hadn't felt nervous in years, which made the emotion feel all the more real. 'Emma, I don't know what to do.'

'About being exposed? I won't tell anyone… I think,' she admitted, surprising me. I shrugged.

'That, too.' One thing was for sure: I did not want to be confronted with the other gods' anger, let alone my parents'. Feeling such fear was so unnatural to me: I was always the one who wasn't afraid of anything. I was always fearless. How could I have become like this?

Emma saw in my eyes how terrible I felt. 'What, then?' she asked, more sweetly than before now.

I stared at her for a few seconds. She was so nice, so smart. So sweet, so soft. So beautiful. So human. She had no idea how perfect she was.

I cleared my throat. 'About you.'

Fear returned to her face. 'What do you mean?' she asked, shocked. 'Because I know?'

I shook my head. 'There is no need for any…punishment for you. At least, that is my father's call to make.' I looked away in horror as I imagined the ways that Zeus could smite her, and me with her. 'I meant you and me. Us. I don't think I have any say in the matter, do I?' I looked back at her with a sad smile on my face.

Emma bit her lip again. I had found out it was something she did when she was unsure of something, or unsure of herself. 'I like you, Noah. But I don't think I like Ares.'

I grabbed her hand. The fact that she had said she liked me, even if it was just Noah-me, was so relieving and made me so happy; she didn't have to deal with Ares-me. 'That's okay. Nobody does, Emma. You don't even have to know the real me.'

She shook her head and retrieved her hand. 'See, that's the thing, Noah. I don't want to see you or even be with you if that is the direction we were headed, if you're wearing a mask all the time.'

I looked down. She was probably right, but we had clicked so well when she hadn't known anything; that had to count for something. 'I wasn't.'

'You weren't what?' she urged.

'Wearing a mask.'

'But if you were hiding your bad side…' She trailed off.

'Stop calling it a bad side.'

'But it is a bad side, right?' She didn't even seem to want an answer to that. She had to know I wouldn't, that I _couldn't_ agree with that. Annoyance came back to me and I stood up, not wanting to confirm her suspicions right now, right here, her suspicions (which were true) that I was just a volcano that could erupt at any given moment. This came very close to being such a moment.

'I see I can't persuade you to think differently about me. Until some other time, Emma Sawyer,' I said coolly. As I walked away, she called my name - my human name - but I kept walking, barely even thinking about it, like a march.


	12. Chapter 12

A few days had gone by without any contact between Emma and me. A few hours after we'd met t the Boathouse I had returned to the estate. I still refused to talk to my family, though I was surprised that Zeus had not come to see me yet. Maybe the repercussions of what I had done were not as bad as I had thought.

Right now, I was lounging on a sofa in my library, reading a free translation of the Iliad by Olivia Sawyer, Emma's mother. I had never read it before, but I was now curious how Olivia had made me appear. So far, she wasn't very positive. She had put the story of me and Aphrodite, caught in Hephaestus' golden net, in there, blaming me for the whole thing. I popped a grape into my mouth. Apparently, Olivia had no idea of why Aphrodite had ever married my brother, and that she had loved me long before she even married him. I felt like paying Olivia a small visit and punishing her for spreading such gossip, but told myself to forget about that. It would probably not make me feel any better.

A servant came in. Lena. The small girl, who I had brought to Olympus to serve me years and years ago, cleared her throat and I looked up, eating another grape. I poured some more of Dionysus' wine into my glass. It was already the third bottle I was drinking today, and I was starting to feel that.

'You have a visitor, my lord,' she spoke. I took a sip of the wine.

'Who?'

'She didn't mention her name, Sir. She did look familiar to me, but I do not know where from.'

I shrugged. 'Let her come here.' I didn't feel like getting up yet, so I turned the page. This part seemed to be about the time Diomedes had wounded me. I chuckled softly and humorlessly. Did Olivia Sawyer truly believe that it had been Diomedes who had done that? It was Athena. It was always Athena. Diomedes was just…there.

'In the library, my lord?'

I looked up. The girl irritated me. '_Yes_, Lena, in the library. Now can you fetch that visitor or are you incapable of doing so?' Lena nodded and backed away, walking into the hall and downstairs. These past few days I had been irritated at everything and everyone and acted like it. My servants were usually eager to please me, but now they seemed scared. I didn't care. I never cared about them, they were mere servants.

I sighed and put the book down. If I were to receive guests, I had probably better put some clothes on beside my underwear. Yawning, I reached for my jeans and stood up to put them on. I ate another grape. Right when I was downing the wine into my mouth, the door opened again. 'I'm not done yet, Lena. You're supposed to announce visitors. How many times have I told you that?' I picked up my shirt and spun around, only to see Emma standing in the doorway. Lena was not there.

'Hi.' She was staring at my chest while she spoke. I rubbed it with one hand before putting the shirt on.

'Hello.' My voice started to sound slurred. 'What's up?' I buttoned my shirt, doing it wrong at the first attempt. I was surprised Emma was there, but refused to show it. It hurt her, I could see that.

She frowned at me. 'You're drunk.'

I raised a hand. 'No. Just a tiny bit tipsy.' I held my thumb and index finger close to each other to illustrate my words. 'Want some?'

Emma shook her head. 'No. I shouldn't have come here.'

I stepped closer to her, taking her hands in my hands. 'Aw, you said that before. It's not true, you know. I always enjoy your company…' I let go of her hands, raised my arms high above my head, stretching, and turned around to eat another grape and fill the glass again. 'Sure you don't want wine? It's really, really good.' I spun around and raised the glass at her.

She glared at me. 'I came here to see how you were doing, but you are clearly doing just great.' The sarcasm in her voice was undeniable. I pouted, knowing I looked ridiculous doing that, but I didn't care. Vanity was, after all, wasted on me.

'And I came to tell you I'm sorry for being so stubborn. I don't know if I still regret that,' she continued. I dropped the glass. It broke into a hundred pieces, the wine staining the white marble floor. It didn't bother me. All I cared about was that she had realized how much she had hurt me by not believing me, back at the Boathouse.

Emma stepped back, shocked by my reaction to what she had said, and stared at the floor. 'What the hell are you doing?' she angrily shouted at me. 'You're behaving exactly the way you don't want me to see you behave. You're just an arrogant son of a-' Her glance suddenly went towards the book. 'Why are you reading my mother's book?' She stepped past me, opening the book. I had scribbled notes in it, some nicely correcting Olivia's work, but most were a lot worse than that.

Her eyes widened and she looked up from the book. 'These notes are all just bad excuses for doing things that you _did_ do,' she accused.

I shook my head. 'Your mother doesn't know half the truth,' I said. I was really not in the mood for actually discussing this book and everything that I had or hadn't done in the past. I wondered how Olivia Sawyer would react when, _if_ she found out the ancient gods were real.

I put the bottle of wine to my lips and took a large swig. 'Maybe I should just out the whole family with one grand gesture. They hate me as it is,' I then said, thinking about the way I would do that. People these days were way too hard to convince that you weren't a lunatic.

Emma took my hand and tugged. 'You're not going to do that, Noah. You're drunk and you should go to bed.'

'I AM ARES, NOT NOAH!' I yelled at her, not even realizing that just a few days earlier I had tried to tell her the opposite. She backed away, scared of the enormous volume of my voice, but did not let go of my hand. I shook myself loose from her grip and took another swig of the wine. I sighed. 'I am _not_ going to bed. You go to bed.'

Emma shook her head, taking my hand again and really pulling now. It had no effect. She was much too weak to even let me shift my weight. 'Stop acting like a child. Where is your bedroom?'

I let myself drop onto the couch, pulling her with me as we both hadn't let go yet. She fell into my lap, her head on my chest. 'Just stay with me?' I said. I attempted to take another sip from the bottle, but missed my mouth and the red drops of wine trickled down my shirt, some of them falling into her hair. 'Oops.'

She looked up, irritated, and pulled herself loose. I threw my arms around her and pulled her legs onto my lap, leaning back.

'_Ares_,' she started. I nodded approvingly. '_Please_ go to bed. If you don't, I will leave and never talk to you again.'

I looked at her. She bore a strict expression on her face and I started to laugh. 'You are adorable,' I said, seriously though in a somewhat playful way. I curled a strand of her hair around my index and middle finger. 'I'm only going to bed if you come with me.'

She observed my face for a moment, then nodded. I was surprised. I hadn't expected her to do that after everything.

'I will come to your bedroom with you, if you go _now_,' she said. I obeyed, standing up. She was still in my arms. 'Put me down. You're too drunk to carry me.' I nodded and let her slowly put her feet back on the ground. 'Now tell me where your bedroom is.' I pointed in the direction of the door, not saying anything. She sighed and looked at me as if she was doubting my sanity. I grumbled softly, opened the door and paced through the hallway. Emma followed me, jogging more than walking to keep up with my long strides. At the end of the hallway I opened the large bronze doors to my bedroom. I walked in and fell down on the bed, while Emma was looking around.

'No decorations,' she said.

'None,' I confirmed.

'Why not? The hallways are beautiful, the gardens are beautiful.'

I shrugged, which was hard lying down. 'No need. I don't give a damn about decoration.' I yawned and took one more sip of the bottle which I had taken with me, then put it down on the nightstand.

'Then why do you have a gallery?'

I moaned as an answer and rolled around, already about to fall asleep, when Emma pulled away the covers from under me. 'Stop it,' I protested, but she continued and then sat down on top of the covers on the other side of the bed. I was already unconscious when she turned off the light.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey guys, I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in ages! I've been super busy ever since the semester started again... Which also means that I won't be able to update very often in the near future. Anyways, enjoy reading and please review!_

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><p>Hours later when I awoke Emma was still lying next to me, asleep now. Through the windows I could see the sun was setting. Quietly so I wouldn't wake her I got up from under the sheets and exchanged my smelly shirt and jeans for clean trousers. I looked at myself in the mirror, quickly pulled a hand through my hair so it would look at least slightly normal, and went back to the bed to wake Emma up with a kiss on her cheek. It worked. She groaned softly, then opened her eyes and blinked a few times.<p>

'You're awake,' she said.

I nodded.

'How's your head?'

I chuckled. 'Fine.' I never had hangovers.

She sat up and trailed the battle wounds on my chest that had almost disappeared. 'Where are your scars?' she asked.

I frowned. 'What scars?'

'The one that your…Noah's body is covered in. There were scars everywhere. I never dared to ask you where you got them, but they're gone.'

I nodded. Being a god meant only the most extreme cuts would stay on my body as scars. The rest just disappeared, pretty much the same as it worked with humans except my body could handle wounds that were much more severe. 'Yeah. Mortals are more vulnerable. Look.' I focused and as my divine glow disappeared, every battle wound came back and with it a piercing headache. I grabbed my head, pulling on my hair while Emma watched, obviously horrified of what was happening. My wounds were not bandaged and blood came streaming out, until the pain made me stop concentrating and all that was left of the wounds was the blood on my skin.

'See what I'm talking about?' I said, relaxed again.

Emma drew her knees up to her chin and put her arms around them. 'Does that mean that as Noah you're not invincible?' she asked.

I sat down next to her. She looked at me with her blue eyes opened wide. 'I'm never invincible, but always immortal. Don't worry.'

She shook her head. 'I wasn't worried.'

I smiled. 'Good.'

I looked into her eyes for what felt like minutes while she looked into mine, still a bit afraid while not as terrified as before, when a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts. 'You make such a nice couple.' It sounded sarcastic.

Emma looked up, surprised, and stared in disbelief at the person behind me. I groaned. 'Apollo.'

Apollo stepped closer and I turned my body towards him. He laughed softly yet kept a serious look on his face. 'Father asked me to go and get you to come to the palace. Since you haven't been listening to Hermes…'

I shook my head. I knew I had to go back but I wanted to postpone it for as long as possible. 'In time,' I said, hoping Apollo was willing to compromise.

He grabbed my upper arm and pulled me away from Emma. I shook myself free and shoved him away, into the wall, with enough force to have broken the wall if it were built by humans. Within a second, he stood next to me again. He held a defensive stance but had given up on physical fighting. The speed and unnatural grace of our motions, like a dance, had had an impact on Emma: she had pushed herself back against the wood of the bed. I sat back, reaching out my hand to her, but she shook her head, refusing to let me touch her. Strange. I had thought she would need comfort. I looked at Apollo.

'Father may have graced you with a few days to ponder your actions, but he won't take no for an answer anymore. He demands that you be at the council room at once,' he said and turned to Emma. 'Miss Sawyer,' he said in a much friendlier voice, though still not letting his guard down and looking at me from the corner of his eyes. 'How charmed to meet you.'

She relaxed a bit. People did that in Apollo's presence, the way they tensed up in my presence unless I made an effort to not have such an effect. She did not, however, reply to him.

Apollo smiled at her. His dazzling white teeth and golden curls would have surely blinded her, if he hadn't been in this dark room. 'I'm sure we will meet again quite soon.' He then disappeared after reminding me of our father with an angry look.

I looked at Emma, who was clutching her knees again. 'What was that?'

I sat next to her, pulling the bedsheets over our legs. 'My brother. Golden boy Luca, better known as Apollo.'

She stared at the place where he had disappeared. 'I meant that last part. When he said we would meet again. Soon.' I swallowed. Obviously, Apollo had had a vision of what was going to happen, but he hadn't shared it. Even though he had said it to her in a very friendly way, I knew that there was some message hidden behind his words.

'I don't know. I'm sure it's nothing,' I said.

She nodded and looked at her watch. 'Oh!' she said, her hand flying to her mouth. 'I have to go, I have to pack!'

I frowned. 'Pack for what?'

'Tuscany. My mother has been there for a few weeks and asked me to come… So I'm going there for a little over a month.'

Tuscany, hmm? I was in need of a nice trip. I also needed to get away from the family, even if that was virtually impossible, and I couldn't make things right with Emma if she was leaving for weeks. I simply needed to see her as often as I could. Plus, I felt like visiting my palazzo. This was the perfect opportunity.

'Funny. I'm going there next week,' I said. The lie was smooth: she had no idea that the idea of this trip was only ten seconds old. 'Where are you staying?'

'Arezzo.' Her voice was a bit hesitant. 'You?'

Good. Arezzo wasn't very far away. 'Florence. I lived there during part of the Renaissance. Still feels like home.'

She nodded. 'I might go there. For art.'

'Want me to show you around?'

She frowned at me. Clearly, she was mentally debating whether to ever see me again or not. I could see it in her eyes. 'You said you don't like decoration. Doesn't that imply a disliking of art?'

'I like it because it reminds me of when things were better.' I smiled nostalgically as I thought about Roman times, when mortals had worshipped me as one of the most important gods. The only one who had outshone me was Jupiter. Countless monuments had been erected in my name, for my sons were the ones that had started the Roman Empire. Only when Christianity had robbed us of our believers did the other gods cease to respect me. It wasn't until the Renaissance had started that people remembered us again. They did not believe in us, which limited our power in a certain way, but still. We were back. It wouldn't be long before we would once again have the believers we deserved.

'I want to meet your mother,' I urged.

She raised an eyebrow, challenging me. 'I don't trust you with my mother.'

'But you trust me with you.'

'I would, if you were the god of…I don't know, flowers.'

I laughed. 'I won't hurt your mother, I promise.' I took good care to not swear anything. Swearing things was never a good idea for us. At least with promises you could back out safely.

'The fact that you have to promise me this, means that you know you _could_ hurt her. And you would, if you were provoked.' She got up from the bed and smoothed the covers. 'I'll think about it, but don't expect anything. Maybe we'll see each other in Italy.' She turned around and paced out of the room. I stared at her back. Did she just leave me? She wasn't supposed to leave.

'Emma!' I shouted after her, but when she didn't respond I banged my head into the wall, angry at myself. It sounded like thunder.

I wanted to hold her and kiss her like before everything happened, to just be with her. I knew at that moment that I was in love.


	14. Chapter 14

_Back to Emma's perspective guys! R&R please :)_

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><p>'Wow,' I heard my mother whisper. We were at an archaeological site in Umbria, close to Arezzo. This place had only recently been discovered. Shards of old vases had been found, probably taken from Greece by the Romans, and the archaeologists had asked for Olivia Sawyer to identify the stories depicted on them. She was nearby anyway, so my mother was a logical choice for them.<p>

I looked up, squinting my eyes, to see what she was so excited about. A marble hand stuck out from the dirt. She dusted off some of the dirt with a small brush and examined it from up close. I stood up from the rock I had been sitting on to write in my diary (I was still not done with Noah's story: there was just so much and I honestly had no idea how to write it) and kneeled down next to my mom.

'From what era do you think this is?' she asked me. She probably knew, but wanted to test my knowledge.

I took the magnifying glass from her hand and looked. With just a hand to go on, it was hard to date the sculpture. 'I don't know. But…look.' I pointed at the wrist, that was still half hidden in the earth. There were some faint, tiny traces of color. 'This used to be painted. Must be Greek.' I couldn't hide my excitement at actually finding a Greek original. I hoped that there was more left of it than just the hand.

Olivia nodded. She wouldn't be as interested in the sculpture as I was until she could see the whole of it, so she could try to identify it. 'Let's leave it to the actual diggers for now.' She held a hand above her eyes and looked to the West. 'It's getting late. Shall we grab a bite and then go back to the apartment?'

Hours later, when we'd had the best pasta I had ever tasted at a tiny little restaurant near the excavations, we were back at our apartment. My mother had been able to get a two-bedroom suite at her boss's expenses, as we would stay there for over a month after all. My room was incredibly messy after two weeks. The place had been cleaned, of course; I hadn't however bothered to hang my clothes away in the wardrobe and had been living out of my bag.

'Honey, you should take a look at this,' I heard Olivia say from the hallway.

'What?' I asked. I was curious, so I came to see what she was talking about.

'An Italian historian, who's _very_ interested in my work, has invited me and my husband to come to a banquet dinner.' She looked up at me, smiling but with a sad look in her eyes. 'And since a husband is out of the question, I suppose a child would do.'

I looked away. This was the first time in months that she spoke of my father. She wasn't good at losing people (if anyone was, for that matter); I remembered how she had not been able to cope at all with my grandfather's death. When cancer took its toll from my dad, she had thrown herself into piles of work. After two years, she was still doing that. I took a deep breath and looked back at her.

'What's his name? Or…her?'

'His name is, now let me pronounce this right, Celeste Adriano Carrara De Santis.' Her voice sounded unsteady, but she kept a straight face. My brave mother. Always ignoring her own emotions to protect me.

'Sounds noble,' I mused. 'When?'

'The day after tomorrow. It's an hour away, so that's doable, but the party starts early, it says on the invitation. I don't think I should work, then. We could make it a day-trip in Florence?' she offered. I nodded. A day away from dusty libraries and excavations would be nice, and I was already getting bored of Arezzo.

We said our goodnights and went into our respective bedrooms for sleep: tomorrow was an early rise. There was more work to do.

Not for one moment did I think of who exactly this nobleman could be.


	15. Chapter 15

_I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating! To be honest I have so many chapters already written that I could just upload them all in one go... but I'll just save some for later haha :) After reading, please review! I always enjoy reading your messages!_

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><p>This was the first time that I had ever seen Michelangelo's David in real life. That day my mom and I visited several museums, we shopped, we had an amazing lunch. Florence was quickly becoming one of my favorite cities on the planet. I was thinking of maybe spending a few days here to further explore the city. I wasn't much help to my mom anyway: most of the time during excavations I was sitting with my diary on my lap, pondering how on earth to write down everything that had turned my life upside down in the past weeks.<p>

At this moment we were standing in the hallway of the historian's palazzo. It was lavishly decorated, the way all palazzo's that I knew in Italy were, with ceilings painted with such detail and perspective that they seemed to come to life, and colors and gold everywhere I looked. I had on my brand new royal blue dress; my mother wore a dark skirt with a blouse. I could hear lively conversations and agitated voices coming from the room on the other side of the door. Right now, our arrival was being privately announced to Celeste Adriano Carrara De Santis. Such a long name. Remember it, I told myself.

The doors swung open…and I stared in horror. I recognized three of the people in this room, even without their divine aura. Apollo's golden-blond hair was tamed for the occasion. Hera was easily identified by her sharp eyes. Aphrodite looked even more beautiful in her red dress than when I had met her, which wasn't humanly possible, but for her apparently it was. Her perfectly rosy cheeks shone as she laughed, laughed at a joke the teenage boy next to her made. The boy was just as blonde as she was, just as gorgeous and soft, but his angular features convinced me that this was Ares' son, and therefore Eros. The boy on Aphrodite's other side, who looked a lot like him but seemed a little younger, had to be Anteros, then. The room was filled with at least a hundred other people, most of whom were normal humans - it was easy to see - but some were evidently deities. None of the guests were sitting yet: everyone was standing, holding tall wine glasses in their hands and talking.

'I suppose it's true what they say. Italians really are the most beautiful people on earth,' my mother joked. I nodded but didn't laugh. Instead my eyes were frantically searching for the one person they couldn't find, the one person that had to be here. Or had he been punished? Has Zeus banned him, or whatever punishment he could think of, for exposing the gods for what they really were? When I couldn't find Noah, I tried to find Zeus. That was easy. He had to be the large, bearded man, the one who simply radiated leadership.

'Mrs and Miss Sawyer?'

I swiveled around when my mother forcibly grabbed my forearm. A young man, wearing simple black trousers and a dress shirt, stood in front of us.

'I would like to introduce you to Signore Celeste Adriano Carrara De Santis.'

From the hallway a man stepped forward. My mouth fell agape. It was Noah. He bowed for my mother, kissing her hand, but never lost eye contact with me. '_Piacere_,' he said, then bowed for me. 'It is a pleasure to meet you, _Donne_ Sawyer.' His voice was tinted with a heavy Italian accent. 'Dinner will be served shortly. I would love to talk to you about your latest book, dear Olivia. Won't you two ladies sit with me at the table later?'

I could feel at least ten pairs of eyes staring at my back. The gods must have noticed me. I was now probably enemy number one among them; after all, I was the one to have discovered what they were hiding. I didn't dare turn around and instead grabbed a glass of wine from a tray a servant carried past.

I finally looked over my shoulder when Noah (or Ares, or Celeste…) led my mom away into the crowd of people. I heard him introduce her to people. Most of them had taken on modern names, but some I could easily recognize.

'Meet my sister, Diana. This is Victoria, my assistant…and here we have Julian, my father,' I heard him say. I ground my teeth together and spun around, only to see Apollo right in front of me.

'It's such a pleasure to meet you again,' he said, sending me one of his dazzling smiles.

'Yes. Well. You said you would, right?' I said sarcastically and took a big sip of my wine.

'Careful with that,' he said now, a bit worried. 'That's Dionysus' wine. It's a lot stronger than normal…'

I shrugged. Strong wine was exactly what I needed right now. All I was worried about was that I would lose control and make a scene with my mother present. She didn't need to be involved in this. On the other side of the room I could see her, having an animated conversation with a tall woman wearing glasses. She reminded me of Athena. I smirked. Those two just _had_ to get along well.

'Emma,' Apollo urged me. 'Look at me.'

I obeyed. I had never seen eyes as blue as his - well, not before I'd seen him in all his divine glory. 'What is his plan, Apollo? Why did he invite us here?'

The corners of Apollo's mouth twitched ever so subtly. 'I don't know. There have been plans among the gods about getting our reign back, but nothing has been decided yet…We can only hope that Ares doesn't destroy everything. My prophecies have been hazy… I honestly have no idea what is going on.'

I raised my eyebrows. Apollo didn't seem to be very sure of…anything, really. He looked away. I'd never thought a god could look so vulnerable, so insecure. Especially not this sun god who was supposed to be one of the most important ones.

'Are you okay?' I asked him.

He nodded. In a split second his uncertainty had disappeared. He smiled at me. 'Yes, but thanks. How are things with you and Ares?'

It still felt strange to hear his real name. When he was mentioned as if he was just another god, there was a distance between us and I didn't think twice about how Ares was, in reality, Noah, but when people connected him to me… It would be hard to ever accept that the nice, perfect guy I had met was in fact Ares, god of war, bloodlust, violence…

I shrugged my shoulders and stared at Noah, who was standing in a corner with Aphrodite. Whispering. What was that about?

'With Ares, they're…nonexistent. With Noah, I have no idea.'

Apollo followed my gaze. 'You shouldn't be worried about _her_.'

I glanced back at him. 'How can I not be worried about her? Their love is legendary.'

He nodded, still looking at Noah and Aphrodite. I wondered what her human name was. 'It is. And they still care much about each other. What they had, though, has been over since…well, since before Rome was founded,' he assured me. 'She still hasn't forgiven him for murdering the love of her life.'

'I thought it was only speculation that he was the boar that killed Adonis,' I countered. I couldn't imagine Noah being capable of such cruelty. Then again…he had said himself that Noah was only the good parts of him.

One corner of Apollo's lips moved up in a half-smile. 'He eventually came around and admitted it was him. He didn't really have a choice: we all knew it was him and we just needed Aphrodite to move on from her grief.'

'Right.' I wasn't convinced. It was still so hard for me to believe I was talking to gods here. Everything felt like a crazy dream. It was impossible: this small group of people had endless power over the world, they had seen everything. I didn't know exactly how old each one of them really was, but I was aware that they had at least seen the rise of the Greek cities.

Apollo then stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Noah and Aphrodite. He touched my upper arm and I brought my attention back to him.

'There are things you need to know about him.'

I laughed joylessly. 'What, like what he has been doing for the last two-thousand years?'

He shook his head, not in the least bothered by my lame, but sort of serious joke. 'He is in love with you. Head over heels. None of us understand why now, after so many centuries.'

I frowned. Why me? I was just an insignificant human to them. Especially a god like Ares would prefer a woman who was as magnificent as himself, right? Before I could say anything, though, Apollo continued, his voice light and soft so no one else would hear.

'He is my little brother, and even though I may hardly ever agree with his actions, I care about him. But you deserve to know that Ares doesn't love easily. Women don't love him easily. But when he does love, he does it recklessly and blindly. It takes over all his actions…'

I could barely grasp the essence of what he was saying. Was it a warning? An accusation? Was it just to let me know that I had made Ares, the raging god, fall in love?

Still, Apollo was speaking. 'He has been emotionally numb for decades. Now that you have lit a fire in him…who knows what'll happen?' His eyes looked compassionate now. 'But be careful. Ares is still Ares, he is passionate above all else, not just in battle but in everything he does. Every night you spend with him he holds himself back. If he loses control for but one second, he will destroy you in the heat of the action.'

'How do you know this?' I asked skeptically. Surely Apollo didn't know everything about Ares' sexual life, did he?

'I have heard his women cry in pain.'

I stared at him in horror while he looked at me silently to measure the impact of his words. Suddenly, his expression changed and he stepped away. 'I'll leave you guys to yourselves.'

He nodded at me, a mindful look on his face, and walked away, soon to be replaced by his little brother.


	16. Chapter 16

_Spring break, finally! This means that more chapters are on their way, as I don't have any concrete plans for the break but I do have inspiration. :)_

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><p>Noah took my hand and caressed my thumb, his back to the room so people wouldn't see. 'Hey, you.' His Italian accent was gone.<p>

I weakly smiled at him. 'Hi.' Apollo's warning had had a huge effect on me. It wasn't Noah that I was scared of. It was Ares, Ares who was dangerous in his loving me. How much would that affect the personality of the Noah I had come to feel so strongly about?

He squeezed my hand. 'Was Apollo bothering you?' He seemed uncertain of what name to use.

I shook my head and pulled my hand loose. 'No. But you are. Why did you invite us here? Who are all of these people?'

He knew I wasn't talking about his family. 'They're our servants.' I looked around. All the other 'guests', though dressed nicely, were there to help. One young man, boyishly innocent, made sure Zeus's glass was constantly filled. He had to be Ganymede, the cup-bearer. As my eyes darted across the room I recognized more of them, but not all. I sighed. My mom had no idea what situation she had walked into. 'Just leave my mother out of it.'

He smiled. 'She is the perfect person to tell the world everything she has written is true. Well, almost everything.' He cocked his head to the side with a grin.

I raised my hands to defend her, but he wouldn't let me. 'Your mother is a highly regarded scholar. People won't think she has gone crazy.'

He had a point. It sounded like a somewhat good, just not solid, plan. But there was one big problem. 'Don't you see?' I asked. 'People don't want religion. They aren't going to venerate you just because you ask them to.'

He shrugged. 'That's a whole other problem. Come. Antipasti are about to be served.'

He took my hand again to guide me to where I would be sitting - right next to him, with my mom opposite me. I let him. He beckoned for my mom to come sit and so she did. She smiled warmly at him.

'Signore Carrara De Santis, thank you, again, so much for inviting us,' she said.

Noah waved her gratitude away with a smile back. 'It is wholly my pleasure. And call me Adriano, _per favore_.' Italian again. I wondered how many identities he had. Probably hundreds.

Once everyone was seated and the antipasti were served, he asked for attention by standing up. 'Dear family and friends,' he started - all lies, all fake, I thought, no one here was his friend - and looked at my mother, 'and, hopefully, future friends, I propose a toast, hoping that this gathering leads us to fruitful new insights. _Alla salute!_' Everyone around me played their part, clinking glasses together. Noah sat down and clinked his against mine with a wink of his eyes. 'Let us eat,' he said then, and we all started eating.

After some small talk, the conversation between Noah and my mom was about her work, then mythology and ancient culture in general. I had wisely kept my mouth shut and focused on eating during the several courses that had already been served.

Olivia laughed at one of Noah's lame jokes (really, he could be a funny guy, but today I refused to laugh) and took a sip from her wine. Luckily this was still her first glass. I didn't want to see my mom drunk among these people. I poked at the food that was on my plate. It was all delicious, the best food I had ever had in my life, but I was not hungry. I was alert at everything that happened around me.

'So, if we were to say that, hypothetically, they existed and that the myths were true, what would you do?' Noah now asked my mom, still chuckling a bit. I looked up quickly, catching Apollo's eye. He was sitting all the way at the other end of the table. I kicked Noah's leg, expecting him to glare at me, but he merely looked up and smiled subtly at me.

Olivia laid her cutlery down, pondering the question. 'I would be so amazed, and intrigued, and fascinated that everything I have studied is not just cultural and religious, not to mention historical, but is here and now and is present in our every day life. It would definitely change the world in every perspective possible.' It was a good answer. She took another sip from her glass. 'But then again, if they did, why were those religions ever abandoned?'

I was looking back and forth between Noah and Apollo now. Apollo was on the edge of his seat, ready to stand up and intervene when necessary. All the other gods were too deep in their conversations to even notice what Noah and my mom were talking about, except for Athena who was curiously eyeing Apollo and me.

Noah smirked, but still gave my mom a nice look. 'You forget about the Fates. Maybe the gods just weren't meant to stay on their mountain.'

Olivia nodded, agreeing, and put her glass down. 'What would you do? What would you think of a possible reemergence of the gods?'

He smiled now. This was probably the question he had been waiting for. 'I think it would be glorious. People always say civilization was at a peak in ancient times. Not even the Renaissance could compete with Roman culture. Imagine what would happen if we got that culture back.'

My mother swallowed a bite. 'You make a good point. I suppose that _if_ the gods exist and are planning a comeback, we can be sure to witness it.'

Noah nodded. 'There is no doubt about that.' They both silenced, focusing on their plates instead. We were almost done with the fifth course; soon, desserts would be served and maybe, just maybe, I could _finally_ get out of here.


	17. Chapter 17

_This chapter is pretty short, so I figured I might as well post it :) Review please!_

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><p>Right after dinner, during which I had been quiet for four hours, I had been able to persuade my mom to leave. I had told her I was incredibly tired. It wasn't completely a lie. I had woken up early, then driven to Florence, and spent the day walking. I definitely <em>was<em> tired. It was just not the main reason I wanted to leave, but my mom didn't need to know that.

I took off my shoes and rested my red and swollen bare feet on the dashboard of our rented Fiat. There was no wind this night, but the speed of the car provided a light breeze through the half-open window. I leaned back and closed my eyes, enjoying the air cooling my face.

'So that was a great night, wasn't it?' my mom asked.

I nodded, my eyes still closed. 'Mmm.' It hadn't been a great night. It had been a terrible night, but she had definitely enjoyed herself, so I didn't want to ruin her mood.

'The host was such an interesting man. His views on the Greek and Roman pantheon are so inspiring. Did you hear about his project?'

My eyes snapped open. 'Project? What project?'

Olivia was still looking at the road didn't notice the surprise on my face. 'He's doing a study on the hypothetical return of the gods. It's all very mythological and historical, of course, but also incorporates the importance of religion in people's lives these days.'

I sank back in my seat. 'Oh. Right. I did hear that.'

'So, he asked me to help him do some research while I'm here. We're meeting on Friday. Would you like to come along? I know how much you enjoyed Florence.'

I bit my lip. I couldn't believe Noah's nerve! I had explicitly asked him _not_ to involve my mom in anything, and here he was, the perfect Italian gentleman inviting her to dinners, doing this _project _of his with her. It was everything I didn't want to happen.

'Emma?' She was still waiting for an answer. I looked back.

'Yeah, sure.' It wasn't like I had anything better to do… If I could avoid Noah, I could actually have a good day in Florence.

I closed my eyes again and my mind drifted off to what Apollo had told me. Why had he done that, anyway? Weren't they supposed to be loyal to each other over humans? Apollo couldn't gain anything by warning me for his brother.

I was suddenly jerked back to reality when the tires of the car squealed loudly. My eyes opened wide, but I could not see anything: I was blinded by the white light of the car that was rapidly approaching us. Or were we approaching it? I couldn't tell and I certainly didn't have time to. My mom seemed frozen in shock, her foot pushing down on the brake pedal with greater force than I could imagine. In that moment the entire universe seemed to slow down. Our car whirled round and I somehow anticipated the crash of the other car into my door. Glass from the window rained down, puncturing my skin. Everything happened over the course of a few seconds but it felt like minutes. Then, there was only pitch black darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The little noises, wherever they came from, occurred in a regular pattern. I tried to measure how long the time between each beep was. Too short to count. They were strangely soothing, as if I could depend on that pattern of sound. I held onto it. There was nothing else I could hold onto in this nothingness.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ I fell asleep again.

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><p>'Her heart rate is normal. At this moment, we needn't worry about her life. I do still want to run some tests on her other vitals, though.'<p>

'Thank you so much, doctor Carrara. I'll be leaving for dinner now, but I'm coming back in an hour.'

'Of course, Mrs Sawyer. I'll be here to keep an eye on her.'

Heart rate? Other vitals? Doctor Carrara? Through my foggy mind the voices were far away, but I could hear the words clearly. Was I in a hospital? That would explain the _beep_s…

I groaned when I tried to roll around on my comfortable bed and a piercing pain went through my back and right arm.

'Emma?' The voice was closer now. I opened my eyes. The world was blurry, but something in it was so shiny and bright that it instantly brought me back to the car crash. I snapped my eyes shut, breathing heavily, even though it hurt like hell. Everything came back to me at once: the screeching sound, the pain, the light.

'Emma.' The voice was more urgent now, and also felt familiar in a way. How would I know an Italian doctor? Unless… I remembered the night before. Was it the night before? I had no idea how long I'd been here. The night before the accident, then. Of course the name 'Carrara' was familiar. Was Noah here? Why would he be my doctor? It didn't make sense.

'Emma, can you hear me?' No. It wasn't Noah. This voice was so much lighter, so much more melodious. I opened my eyes again. Someone was sitting next to my bed, but I could barely see more than a blurry shape. This person was blond. Right. Apollo.

'You're awake! Finally. Took you long enough.' He sounded relieved now. Slowly, very slowly, his body became more than just a shape. I could make out his white coat now, then his face.

'I…What hap-' I started. Apollo shushed me.

'Don't speak. Wait, give me one second.'

I felt like scowling at him for that, but couldn't. What was I supposed to do besides waiting?

He stood up and went to close the door, disappearing out of my sight. I heard his footsteps come closer again, but he didn't sit down. I still didn't see him. Suddenly, a warm feeling went through my body. I could see a faint golden light reflected on the white wall.

'You can turn around now.'

I didn't move. I didn't dare to. The pain would be too much. I moved my head a bit, hopefully indicating that I wouldn't obey.

'Emma. The pain is gone.'

I listened now. He was right: when I moved, there was no pain. Everything felt normal.

'What did you do?'

He smiled at me. 'I healed you.'

'Well, you're supposed to. You're a doctor,' I said sarcastically, referring to his doctor's coat.

He laughed. 'I try. A normal doctor wouldn't be able to take away a spine fracture in a second, though.'

I sat up now, touching my back. Nothing hurt anymore. Even my skin, which I was sure had been badly cut by the shards of glass, was perfectly smooth. 'What day is it?' I then asked.

'It's Thursday.'

The dinner party had been on Monday. I had been unconscious, or maybe amnesic, for over two days. 'You couldn't have healed me faster? Aren't you a god?'

Apollo shrugged. 'I could have, if your mother had left your side for more than three minutes. And it wouldn't be very convincing if you were okay the day after a car crash.'

I rubbed my forehead. I was sweating, hard. 'God, it's so hot in this room. Could you open a window?'

He nodded and did as I asked. 'Were you the one to save me?' I inquired.

'No.' He sat down again. 'Well, medically I am. But Ares rescued you and your mother from the car wreck.'

I gasped. 'Is she okay?'

'Didn't you just hear her?' He smiled at me. 'She's fine. The car hit you on your side… She only had a concussion. I may have performed a little divine miracle.'

'You have a lot of special powers, don't you?'

He shrugged. 'I guess so.'

I silenced for a short moment. 'Does… Ares have any?'

Apollo gave me an intense look that I couldn't decipher. 'Let's just say he's really good at killing things.'

'And people,' I mumbled. I lay back. Energy was slowly seeping away from me again.

'You're still not entirely mentally stable. Get some rest,' Apollo said and stood up. Seconds later, I sank away into a deep sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

My hand felt warm. I tried to move it, but that was impossible. Was someone holding it?

'You snore.' My eyes flew open. The dry comment had been made by Noah. He let go of my hand.

'You're here.' I wasn't sure if I was happy to see him. Sure, it felt good to see a face that was more familiar than Apollo's… I just didn't know if it was Noah's that I wanted to see.

'I'm here.' He smiled at me, so sweetly. It seemed like the last few weeks hadn't happened, like we were still the almost-girlfriend and almost-boyfriend that we'd been before. 'You have no idea how worried I was. Am.'

'I think I do,' I said carefully, looking down and fidgeting with the heart rate detector that the doctors had put on my index finger. It seemed like the time was right to confess to Noah what Apollo had told me.

'What do you mean?'

I looked at his face. He genuinely didn't know what I was talking about. 'It's just…Apollo said that…he knows how you feel. About me.' I was so nervous, I wasn't capable of producing coherent sentences.

Noah looked away. He cleared his throat. 'What did he tell you?'

'Uh, that, you know, you're in love with me and that you haven't been in a long time.' I said it quickly, as if that would make this conversation easier.

He was quiet for a long time. Finally, after over two minutes of me staring at him while he refused to look me in the eye, he spoke again.

'Yeah, I might need to have a little chat to Eros about that,' he said.

I tilted my head to the side. 'Eros, as in…your son?'

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. The tense atmosphere had disappeared. 'That's the one.'

I sighed. I was only barely grasping the fact that I had met the gods and that they were sort of interested in me, but now there was also the very earthly issue of my…what was he, a love interest? having a child. And not just one. Hundreds, thousands maybe.

'You're saying that it's his fault you're…in love? With me?' I tried.

He shrugged. 'The thought crossed my mind.'

I swallowed, preparing myself mentally for what I was about to say. 'Is it true what Apollo said?'

At last he glanced at me, although only briefly. 'Which part exactly?'

I tried to pull the heart rate detector off of my index finger, but failed. I didn't dare look at Noah when I answered his question. 'That this is the first time in _very_ long that you're feeling something.'

'It's not entirely true.'

I sighed and lay back. I wasn't going to get the thing off of me any time soon. 'What is, then?'

We were now finally really looking at each other. He wasn't sitting as close as before now. 'It is true that the last time I felt something substantial for a woman was in…' He thought about that for a split second. 'It was in the 1940s.'

He looked a bit absent-minded, a bit sad now. That story clearly hadn't had a happy ending. 'What happened?' I asked him softly.

He took his time to fill his lungs with fresh air. He appeared a bit reluctant to tell the story, but he seemed to know that I was okay with hearing it. 'The Second World War had taken over. She died.'

I was the one to take his hand now. I held it tight. 'How? Was she taken to a camp?'

He looked away from me again, out the window now. 'No. I could've saved her if that were the case. She died on the 29th of December in 1940, in the Second Great Fire in London.'

I silenced. I had no idea what to answer to this. What were you supposed to say, anyway, to someone - a god - who had lost someone seventy years ago?

'What was her name?' I squeezed his hand, wondering what this girl had been like. If she even was a girl. Who knew, Noah was old enough to have a thing for…older women. In a different situation, I might have giggled at that thought.

'Virginia.' I nodded, but decided not to pain him any more by asking questions about her. Instead, I had a completely different question for him.

'Were you…are you…' I needed to know how big his role in that war had been. My grandfather had died on the beaches of France, when my grandmother was pregnant with my dad - I _had_ to know if I, indirectly, had Noah to blame for that.

Noah smiled at me now. It was eerie how he could switch emotions like that, as if he hadn't just told me the heartbreaking story of his Virginia. It reminded me of what my mom had told me about Ares: that he would just randomly explode in anger. I hoped I would never have to witness that.

'What?' he asked.

I collected my thoughts. 'Did you start it?'

He frowned at me. 'Start what?'

'The war.'

He silently looked at me for a split second that felt like much longer, then started to laugh. He didn't however manage to wipe the questioning look off my face.

'Emma,' he said, 'I don't start wars.'

What? He confused me. 'Aren't you supposed to be the god of _war_?'

He was still chuckling a bit. I didn't see what was so hilarious. 'Yeah, but I don't get to do anything until the battles have started. In fact, often my dad rather has me do nothing at all. It's boring.' He made a face. I laughed now, but only because he looked so ridiculous.

'It's the Fates who tell us, the gods, what is meant to happen and what is not, but even they don't decide everything. And then it's the mortals who actually start the war,' he explained.

I nodded, but frowned at him. Sure, that explanation was sort of clear. But still…

'So all you do is…fight?'

'Pretty much.'

A sudden sound of someone clearing her throat made us both look up. I gasped. My mom was standing there…and judging from the look on her face, she had probably been standing there a long time. She had to have heard enough.

Noah stood up as if stung by a bee. 'Olivia!' he said. He didn't bother to add an Italian accent to that.

She glared at him, but even though he was so intimidatingly tall, she didn't back away. 'Adriano. I would like to have a _private_ conversation with my daughter now, please.'

He nodded, respecting her wish. After giving me one glance and mouthing _good luck_ to me, he left.


	20. Chapter 20

_Noah's perspective again! Read and review please :)_

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><p>My phone buzzed. I pulled the thing out of my pocket and read the text. <em>Just saw Olivia Sawyer at a book event, outing us. What the fuck are you doing?<em> I grimaced. Apollo's prophecies were _never_ wrong, and sure, I had wanted Olivia to find out, but not like this. Not through eavesdropping.

I leaned back in the uncomfortable chair outside Emma's room, listening to their conversation. It sounded intense. I felt like rushing back in and protecting Emma from her mother - it wasn't her fault, dammit! Why was she the one to receive all this anger? At least I could handle it. Sort of. In my own way. Emma was too fragile and too innocent to even last two minutes in a fight, even a verbal one.

'Mom, just hear me out, please.'

'I cannot believe you kept this a secret. From me of all people! Do you have any idea what you have gotten yourself into?'

'Seriously, mom! You have no idea what's going on here! You just come in, overhear a conversation and draw your conclusions. _You_ should know that that is _not_ the way to do things.'

'You do _not_ talk to me like that, young lady. I'm getting you out of this hospital. We're going back to New York tomorrow.'

'You can't do that! Doctor Carrara said I had to stay here.'

I chuckled to myself. It was funny how she could even hold on to that lie in this situation.

'Oh, and who is doctor Carrara, hmm? Another idiot who thinks he's a god? He has no right to work at a hospital.'

A frown now formed on my face. How could Olivia still think that we were just a bunch of crazy delusional people?

I heard a soft laugh. Emma. 'They're not idiots, mom. They're real. All of them.'

Olivia didn't respond. I heard footsteps coming closer. I knew she had wanted me to leave, probably forever, so I quickly disguised myself as a short wrinkly old man.

The door next to me opened and Olivia stepped outside. 'Where did he go?' she asked no-one in particular. She turned to me. 'Have you seen a very tall young man just minutes ago?'

'_Mi dispiace_,' I said with a creaky voice, '_Non parlo l'inglese._'

She sighed. 'Well, _grazie_.'

Before I could catch myself I grinned widely and stood up from the seat, turning back into myself. I didn't concentrate on appearing like a mortal - instead, I looked down on the short woman in all my divine glory, armor included. 'I think you should believe your daughter.' I didn't mean to frighten her, although I was sure my low voice made it sound like a threat.

She stared, dumbstruck. From inside the room I heard noises. Quickly, I walked in, leaving Olivia outside, only to find Emma trying to climb out of her bed.

'Stay there, Em.'

'No!' She was determined to get out of the bed and talk to her mother.

'That thing on your finger is still attached to the machine, though.'

She glared at me. 'So take it off. I don't need it anyway.'

'No, Emma, you can't-'

'Mom.' Emma had given up on walking outside and sat back down on her bed. Olivia came back in, carefully avoiding my eyes. She took Emma's hands.

'Can you believe this, mom?'

Olivia shook her head. 'How long have you known this?'

Emma shrugged. 'Not so long.' She briefly looked at me. 'I barely believe it myself.'

Olivia nodded and sat down. She glanced at me now. 'How long have you known him?' she asked Emma.

'A few months now. Since April. But not as…'

'Ares,' I finished for her. I had wisely stayed out of this conversation for as long as I could manage, but now I could see that Emma was having a hard time telling the incredible truth, and Olivia was having a hard time believing it.

Olivia looked up at me, raising a hand. '_You_…you keep your mouth shut.'

I breathed in deeply. I could _not_ risk to lose myself here. Emma noticed my uneasiness.

'Mom…' she warned. 'Don't - don't provoke him.'

'Oh?' Olivia said. 'Why not? Because he is _Ares_?'

'Yes, mom!' Emma was getting annoyed. 'Exactly! Look at him! Why can't you just believe it?'

'Because Ares is not a good man,' she retorted.

I cleared my throat. Olivia glared at me. 'I know what you think of me, Olivia. I read your books.'

'Then you should understand perfectly why I don't want you involved in my daughter's life.'

'With all due respect,' I started, 'you don't have _any_ say in whose lives I am involved.' How did this woman even come up with the idea that she could stop me from doing what I desired?

'She is my _daughter_ and you are a murderer!' Olivia spat out. Within a second she was against the wall with my forearm against her throat. Emma gasped in horror behind me, but I could not afford to care about that right now.

'Since you _obviously_ know me better than I know myself,' I hissed, heavy sarcasm tinting my voice, 'I'm sure you are aware that I treat women who oppose me exactly the same as I do men.'

It took her a lot of effort, but Olivia nodded. 'Yes.'

'So you understand why you don't get to judge?'

She nodded again. I pushed against her throat.

'Noah!' Emma shouted, her voice shrill with fear. 'Stop it!'

I looked over my shoulder - I had never seen her this terrified. I couldn't bear the sight of her being anything but happy. It made me weak inside.

'Please. Let her go.' I did as she asked, though reluctantly. Olivia rubbed her throat and took a step away from me. Emma did the same, softly asking her mom if she was okay.

'I'm fine,' Olivia snapped. 'But I'm also leaving. I will have the other doctors release you later today and we'll catch the first flight home.'

Without another word, she turned on her heel and left the room.


	21. Chapter 21

_Woah, I suck at updating this story. Only a few weeks left of the semester though, and after that I will probably have plenty of time to write. :) Review after reading please!_

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><p>I paced up and down the room. My fingers clutched my hair; my knuckles turned white. What was I going to do? I needed to figure something out and fast, before the entire world, mortal and immortal, was coming to turn everyone's lives upside down. My phone kept buzzing with new texts demanding I come to the throne room.<p>

'Noah?'

I raised a hand to silence her and leaned my forehead against the window. I could accept the fact that I had screwed up, have Zeus force Olivia to forget everything, and move on with my life the way I had. Except Emma wouldn't let me, and for some reason I felt I had to respect her wishes.

'Noah, talk to me.' I spun around.

'This wasn't supposed to happen!' I raised my hands in desperation. 'Everything is ruined. The whole plan, my life, _your_ life…'

I had never felt this powerless before.

She walked up to me and attempted to lay her hands on my shoulders, then settled for my bronze chest plate. 'I know this seems like the end of the world, but it's not. My life isn't ruined. Neither is yours. I'm sure you can work it out.'

I took her hands away from my body. 'You don't get it. The repercussions of mortals knowing this are enormous. Especially with one like your mother.'

'So what are the repercussions?' Her voice was soft and gentle. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her mind, I had no idea why she was this calm. After all, I had just frightened her more than ever before.

'I don't know! But Zeus, he's going to… I have no idea what he's going to do. He's too creative with punishments.'

Emma put her hands on her hips. 'Aren't you courage personified?' she asked me. She didn't sound gentle anymore. She sounded strict like an elementary school teacher.

I nodded. I didn't feel like myself, though. I had destroyed plans so many times, I had defied my father so many times… But nothing was as all-ending as this. We'd been hiding ourselves for over fifteen hundred years and our plans for coming back were so complicated, so well thought out…and here I'd screwed all that up in less than an hour. Shit.

'Then act like it and face your father.'

I bit my lip, still unsure of myself, even if she was right. Then again…Zeus would find me anyway.

'I'll be back here as soon as I can,' I said, cupping her chin in my hands.

She looked away. My hands fell. 'You heard my mother. I don't think I'll be here, then. She'll probably want me to stay at her place for a while.'

'So I will see you there.'

Emma shook her head. 'No, Noah. You can't visit me there, my mom won't allow it.'

I ground my teeth. 'When are you mortals going to realize that your wishes don't mean anything to me?' It had escaped my mouth before I could stop myself. Emma was taken aback. She opened her mouth, then closed it again without saying anything.

'Emma… I didn't mean that,' I said, pleading. 'It's not…I wasn't talking about you. _You_ mean everything to me.' I couldn't help myself. It was as if Emma had brought color back into my life. As if she had brought life back into my life. The moment that she seemed hurt, in any way possible, it was my sole mission to drive that what had hurt her away. Except now it was me that had done that.

She stepped away toward the door. She was on the verge of crying. 'You have to leave me alone, Noah.'

I followed her, standing close to her again. 'I love you, Emma.' I pulled the words from my heart; it was a sensation that I was feeling in my whole body, electrifying me, making the entire world seem like a blur. 'I know you love me. Let me be here for you…please.' I didn't have to beg her for that. I could do anything I wanted. But it wouldn't mean anything if she didn't feel the same.

She hesitated for a moment. 'Just go.'

Those two words seemed to cut into me. I nodded, defeated (a rare feat), and turned around. Before leaving the room, I looked over my shoulder at her pained face.

'Tell your mother that she can expect lightning if she ever tells anyone about this.' Before she could reply, I disappeared from her sight.


	22. Chapter 22

_Andddd back to Emma :) rrrrread & review_

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><p>'<em>Oh<em> my God! I have missed you so much! It's so good to see you. Are you really okay?'

Gabrielle's hug was so tight that I could barely breathe. I smiled, though, and hugged her back.

'I'm fine, really. Did your parents like my gifts? How has your internship been?' I asked.

Gab shook her head. 'No. I will not talk about myself until you tell me what happened and why you're back here hardly a week after a fatal accident. Are doctors even allowed to release you that early?' She was talking so fast that I could barely grasp what she was asking. I shrugged.

'I suppose it's a miracle. The doctors didn't get it either.' I wished so much that I could tell her what happened, that I could tell her what the world was really like…but it was impossible. Even if the gods would let me, I still wouldn't know how to do it. Maybe Gabrielle was better off not knowing, anyway. At least my life hadn't been this complicated before I met Noah, or Ares, whatever. With his behavior lately, even calling him Noah didn't feel comfortable anymore.

I gave Gabrielle a glass of water and sat down on the couch. She sat down in the leather chair next to it and looked around. 'I've never even seen your mom's apartment,' she mused. 'It's so nice. It suits her so well.'

I smiled. She was right. From the pictures of my family when my dad was still alive to the rows and rows of books, it was so apparent that no one else could have decorated these rooms.

'So up until that, uh, accident, how was Italy? Your mom told me you went to some fancy schmancy dinner?' Gabrielle grinned, clearly desperate to hear this story.

I waited a few seconds to collect my thoughts before answering. 'Yeah, but it was boring…just a lot of people who think they're better than us,' I then said. I made sure not to lie to her.

Lucky for me, she saw that I didn't really want to talk about it - she probably thought that was because of the accident - and started telling me about her awesome, amazing, inspiring internship.

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><p>Of course, I never stopped thinking of Noah. Even when I tried to force him away from my mind he lingered. I didn't want to think about him, tried to push the thought of him aside, because being reminded of him would remind me of the fear I felt when he was threatening my mother. I had tried to act calm afterwards, act like I wasn't scared, but in reality the feral expression that was on his face had scared me to death. Mom was right. He was dangerous. I wondered where he'd be now, what he'd be doing. Had he gone to face his father? Had he been locked up, been banished? That would explain the radio silence. The accident was three weeks ago already. It was a little over two weeks since I had last seen him.<p>

I thought about the last words he had said to me before leaving me. _Tell your mother that she can expect lightning if she ever tells anyone about this. _I knew they weren't a metaphor. If the secret came out because of her, she would be punished, like I would be punished if I told anyone, even Gabrielle. But I had no idea why he had said it. Was it a warning? Or had that haughty, arrogant look that I thought I'd seen on his face really been there, and was it a threat?

I hadn't noticed the tear on my cheek - god, sometimes I cried over such stupid things - until my mom came in and I quickly brushed it away. She didn't seem to see it. Good. I didn't want to appear weak and emotional over a guy that she hated.

'How's your day been, honey?' she asked.

I shrugged. 'Uneventful.' This was not news to her. I had been bored all the time and the days seemed to melt into each other. She insisted that I stay with her for the time being, and I kept saying that I wanted to go back to Gabrielle's and my apartment, but secretly I really did want to stay. At least I could be open to her. I'd been avoiding Gabrielle - I hated lying to her, but at least I wasn't lying to her face.

'Have you been crying?'

I looked up. So she had noticed. 'No,' I said, swallowing a lump in my throat. I guess I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I had actually been crying harder than I thought.

She shook her head, set her bag down and sat down next to me on the couch. She stroked my hair and I crawled up against her, crying against her shoulder, like I had when I was a little kid. And when dad died.

'You know you can tell me anything, Emmy. That's what I'm here for.'

I nodded into her shoulder, the tears now streaming down my face and dripping into her sweater.

'Actually, I need to tell you something.'

I looked up. She seemed worried about something. Maybe it was about how I had been living like a hermit these past weeks.

'Have you seen the news lately? Or read any newspapers?'

I shook my head. I had refused any contact with the outside world, save for the occasional visit from Gabrielle.

My mom took a deep breath. What was so shocking that _she_ had trouble telling me?

'Italy is on the verge of having a civil war.'

It took a few seconds for the information to sink in. 'Wait…what? You don't think that…?' I asked. I couldn't accept the fact that this might have anything to do with Noah. Of course, it probably had everything to do with Noah. I sat back.

'People have been rebelling against the government…and it's already very violent. The only reason it's not officially a war yet is because the government hasn't said so, but the United Nations are about to step in.'

It was too much information at once for me to process. Honestly, I didn't really care at that moment what stage this 'war' was in, I just wanted to know whose fault it was.

'What if it's my fault?' I said. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. Mom looked at me as if I was crazy.

'Honey. How could this be your fault? You don't have anything to do with this.'

I shook my head, again crying. 'No, but it's obviously Noah and if he is doing this because of me then it _is_ my fault and…'

I stopped talking because mom was frowning at me. 'Who's Noah?'

My hand flew to my mouth. Of course… We had never discussed the matter of Noah/Ares again. It was too painful for me to talk about it and she probably still held a huge grudge. I couldn't exactly blame her for that.

'Noah…is… It's Ares.'

She slowly nodded, still confused. 'Right…so why wouldn't you call him Ares, but by one of his fake names?' she asked. It sounded as if she was concerned, confused, curious and accusing me all at the same time.

I swallowed. 'Because I know _him_ better than-than Ares.' My mom pulled me towards her again and I laid my head on her lap. She ran her hand through my hair.

'How did you fall for him? Was he different?' It didn't sound as negative now. More like she was soothing me.

I stared at the dark fireplace on the other side of the room. 'He just… We had common interests. Remember the gallery I had to visit for school? That's his.' The words came out in chunks but my tears were dying; talking about him like this, telling the story, made me feel better.

'And he was there…and he started talking to me, and I immediately felt attracted to him. And then the next few times I saw him he was being a jerk and I guess that I could've seen it coming that something was wrong.' I thought about this for a second. Could I really have? I didn't think anyone could have ever predicted what had happened. 'But he made it up to me, he was really sweet then. That's when we started dating, and it was so great and he made me feel so safe... But pretty soon I found out about everything, by accident, and after that it was never the same again. Although according to Apollo he's in love with me. More than just in love actually…' I waited patiently for my mom's reaction to my mentioning Apollo. There was none.

She braided my hair while she spoke. 'And are you in love with him?'

I remained silent for a while. I didn't know if I was. It was like I'd said before: I really liked Noah, but I wasn't sure about Ares. Although now that I thought about it, I realized that maybe he'd been right all along. Noah was him, without the Ares parts maybe, but it was still him. Everything about him just seemed to be amplified, in a way, when he wasn't pretending to be human.

'I think so.' I looked up at her now, wondering how she would react. She looked back at me, but I had no idea what could be going on in her mind.

Finally she said something. 'Your last boyfriend made a better first impression on me.'

I knew my mom was hiding her emotions when she resorted to sarcasm. And if she hid them, I would never find out. Still, I tried.

'Why weren't you scared? At the hospital?'

'I was. You'll learn to be brave when you become a mother.' And with that, my mother stood up and left the room, and the conversation was over.


	23. Chapter 23

_Woah... it's been long since I last updated this story. But finals are over! I have all the time in the world to write now. Review after reading please, I love reading your messages :)_

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><p>I took it upon myself to find out everything I could about that civil war in Italy. I watched CNN for hours every day. I read every newspaper I could get my hands on. I spent every night on the Internet. It made me feel like a zombie. This pattern continued for weeks.<p>

I discovered that in just a matter of days everything had escalated and hundreds of people were dying in the uprisings. Not only that - armies from neighboring countries were now also entering Italy, trying to stop the situation from getting too much out of hand. It was useless. It was a tragedy. Without visible explanation soldiers were turning against their superiors. There were bloodbaths within single troops.

Not one day after the president of Italy was brutally murdered other things started to happen. It was as if the world was ending - seas and rivers went dry, all their water flooding entire countries. It all went slowly, sometimes with a huge wave wiping another state off the map. There were thunder storms that went on for days. It wasn't just in Europe anymore. In a few months, the wars had spread over the entire world. It seemed everyone was fighting. The natural disasters were also everywhere. Even the economy was rapidly going down. My brother had flown to New York from California; I was back in the apartment that I shared with Gabrielle. She was with her family. For some reason, the Northeastern States seemed to be the only safe place on the planet. Everything here was still the way it had always been. We were spared.

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><p>My alarm went off. Without opening my eyes, I hit the snooze button and turned around. Five minutes later, it awoke me and now I got up. I yawned. I hated it when I had to get up before the sun had even risen. It made me feel like there was no hope for summer anymore.<p>

That was when it hit me. Sure, it was fall. Sure, the sun was rising later and later in the mornings. And sure, some days I had to get up really early. But not today. It was half past eleven in the morning. _The sun was supposed to be shining._

I pulled my curtains open so quickly I could have ripped them apart, and looked down at the streets. They were deserted, save for the few hobo's who were always there at night. I could only see a very small part of the area…because the streetlights were off. Lights were on in neighbor buildings, but not a lot. I checked my computer. It was really 11:32 AM.

Lightning struck through the air, briefly illuminating the city. I heard the thunder. It was so loud that it seemed to be right next to me, echoing in my ears.

The flash of the lightning brought back memories of that night in Italy for a split second. I was, again, blinded by the light, staggering backwards and almost falling to the ground when two strong arms caught me. I looked up to see who it was and pressed my eyes shut. His hair was too golden. Too shiny.

A familiar voice soothed me. 'You're safe now.'

When I opened my eyes I wasn't in the city anymore. The only source of light for as far as I could see was the golden glow emanating from my savior's body. We were in some sort of mountain range.

'What is happening to the world?' I asked Apollo.

He quickly looked around, then turned his attention back to me. 'The world is being destroyed.'

'Like the Apocalypse?' I asked dumbly.

He laughed, but I couldn't see joy in his eyes. 'There's no such thing as the Apocalypse. That's a biblical thing, remember?'

I nodded. Right. 'Did you do this? Did you stop rising the sun?' It seemed the most logical explanation. The sun was Apollo's job, wasn't it? Then it must be because of him that there was no sun anymore.

'Sit down.' He took my hand and guided me to a rock. I sat down.

'I did that, and all the other gods did their parts, to try to stop Ares. He's gone rabid. We were hoping that this would make him realize that he needs to stop doing this… But we were too late.'

I chuckled sarcastically. 'Yeah, your timing kinda sucks.'

Apollo sat down next to me. 'The thing is…this is Olympus all over again. There was no communicating with him then and there isn't now. He went crazy again. At least during Rome he could also bring peace and his wars made sense. He's bringing all kinds of chaos to the family.' He crossed his arms. Somehow the usually so mighty god looked like a sulky kid.

I frowned. 'You're saying that you're ending the world because you need a nice family?'

He smiled at me now. 'Pretty much.'

My eyes widened. 'Millions of people are dying! Don't you even care? Aren't you gods supposed to make sure things like this don't happen?'

'It's no use caring, Emma. We still do what we have always done. We stick to our duties. But when mortals lost their faith in us…we lost our compassion for them.'

I stood up, turning my back to him. Every belief I'd ever had had been shattered. Even if I had hoped the gods could be the slightest bit humane, that hope was destroyed. They were cruel, no, even worse: they were indifferent. And I had too much to do with them now.

'You can help us, you know.'

I spun around, hopefully looking so angry he'd be convinced I wouldn't do _anything_ for them.

He laughed. Defeated, I plopped down on the rock.

'Why me?' It was confusing.

'You may be the only one that could bring him to reason,' he said.

I was the one to laugh now. 'How?' I asked. 'How am I supposed to do that?'

Apollo shrugged. 'Do what you do best. Calm the fire.'

'Didn't you say that I'm the reason that that stupid fire is there at all?' God, when was this guy ever going to be clear?

'It's because of you he's doing these things. He seems to need you to regain balance.' He said it as if it was obvious. I knew better: it didn't make any sense.

'You do know I haven't seen him in ages, right? And that he was angry at me? He's probably already forgotten about me.'

Apollo smiled at me mysteriously. 'You really have no idea of the effect you had, do you?'

'I do. You told me.'

'Yeah, and you believed it, but that doesn't mean you accepted it. Anyways, I have foreseen that you will help, so I'm not going to ask.' He looked at me smugly, only making me feel all the more annoyed at him. I knew I didn't really have a choice, though.

'Fine. What do you want me to do?'


	24. Chapter 24

_'Tis a bit of a short one - more will follow soon. Been really busy studying again! No worries, in only a couple of weeks I will have summer break too :) glad you enjoyed the last chapter! This one is a bit different maybe. Read and review please!_

_And btw, this is (quite obviously haha) from Ares' perspective._

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><p>Fresh blood splatters landed on my face, momentarily blinding my vision. I wiped them away, but it wasn't much use. My hand was too dirty already. I blinked. Around me everything was red - the sand, the men, the weapons. All blood. I jumped on a high rock, overseeing the battle site. It extended all the way to the horizon. I grinned broadly. This was what I had been waiting for all these centuries. Finally I got to be myself at my full potential again. My family's warnings hadn't had any effect on me; if anything, they made fun challenges. Floods and thunder meant no more electricity for the people. And that meant…fair fighting.<p>

I picked up a small rock and threw it into the valley. It knocked a tall man, about four hundred meters away from me, out cold. The people around him looked up. I smiled as everyone in the valley suddenly ceased fighting and followed their glance. It felt triumphant - here I was, my golden armor ever shining majestically through the dirt, at the top of my power, with my children beside me. At last everything was as it should be. I felt like a king again.

'Father?' I turned around. 'Enyo's back,' Phobos, my son, said.

Without responding, I turned my back to him and his siblings. I needed to talk to my sister.

'And?' I asked when she was close enough.

Enyo nodded. 'It's done. I don't think anyone will be going on a trip to Paris anytime soon.'

'Good,' I said. 'Can you take care of this thing here for me? I'm hungry.'

She nodded again, and went away to take my children back to the battle. I took the opportunity to wash my face in the nearby pool. Lena, who I'd taken with me, was there to wash my feet.

'Lena.' She looked up. 'Stop it and come here.'

Hesitantly, she got up and sat down next to me. Hungrily, I wrapped my arms around her and pushed my tongue into her mouth. She obeyed instantly. This was nothing new to her; in the centuries that she'd been my servant, we had done it so many times. She had even given birth to several of my children.

I didn't need to look at her face to take off her clothes. I didn't need to really focus on her body. In my mind I could pretend that this was Emma, that it was Emma that had been here with me all this time. I could pretend I was making love to her instead of screwing the servant.

If only it were that easy.

After climaxing, I could think clearly again. I rolled around on the dirty sand, panting. It wasn't Emma. I couldn't pretend. Emma would never be here with me. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine I was lying on my bed, that she was next to me, that she would be happy to be there.

That would never happen again.

My fist hit the ground so hard that it shook, the sound echoing through the valley. Emma hated me. Emma was better off without me. Was I better off without her? Maybe I was. I could be the old me again. I didn't have to worry about coming across as a perfectly nice gentleman. I wasn't, after all. As long as I kept busy I didn't have to care about the fact that she never wanted to see me again. As long as I did what I was born to do I kept my mind occupied.

'Would you like some pork, my lord?' Lena's voice sounded.

I opened my eyes - even the sky looked red, from the light of the fires - and sat up. She was offering me an elaborately decorated plate with an enormous piece of pork on it. Not bothering to use any cutlery, I took a big bite.

'You really are a barbarian, aren't you?' Lena looked up, quickly stood up and went inside the hut some of the soldiers had set up for me. I didn't need to look up to see who it was. I could recognize my half-sister's voice anywhere.

'What do you want?' I asked her with a full mouth.

Athena sat down where Lena had sat just a few seconds ago. She pulled a disgusted face. 'I want you to come to the council meetings.'

I swallowed my bite and laughed in her face. 'That's what the whole family has been trying to do. No luck for you there, sis.'

She wasn't disturbed in the slightest. 'If you don't attend the next meeting, which will take place tonight at moonrise, I will ruin your battles for you. You know I can.'

I glared at her. She was always taking my fun away. Even when I was still a kid, she took all my toys away, always saying she needed the humans for her strategies. Strategy made war boring.

'Oh, come on,' I grumbled. 'Don't you have something else to do?'

She stood up, towering above me now. 'Are you aware that _all_ the gods are concerned with what _you _are doing right now?' she shouted. 'You are destroying _everything_! All my plans! All our preparations!'

I shrugged, too stubborn right now to respond to that. I took another bite of the pork.

She breathed in deeply then, clearly debating something in her head. Then, in a split second, she changed her appearance to Emma's.

The plate fell to the ground. I could only stare at Athena. Even though I knew it wasn't Emma (Athena's sea-green eyes were, after all, nothing like Emma's blues) it was like she had slapped me in the face.

'How about now?' she asked. She was even using Emma's sweet voice. I couldn't answer, all I could do was mentally beg her to stop this.

'Swear you'll attend the meeting,' she said. 'Then I'll stop. Swear on the river Styx.'

I sighed. Swearing on Styx was binding; there was no way to back out from that. Seeing Emma like this was a far worse punishment than what Styx could give me, though. 'Fine. I swear on Styx that I will be at the meeting tonight at moonrise.'

Emma-Athena smiled at me and changed back into the tall woman with the glasses. 'Great. I will see you there.'


	25. Chapter 25

The moon was only just rising when I entered the main hall of Zeus's palace. It had been ages since I'd last been here. Nothing had changed since we had lost our power. The walls were still the smooth white marble. None of the paint on the reliefs and the statues had faded off, not even after thousands of years.

I hesitated before moving in the direction of the council room. I couldn't _not_ go to this meeting. I also wasn't ready to see my family members again. None of them had attempted to talk to me, besides Athena; they had only tried to warn me with their disasters. They probably sensed it was of no use anyway.

In the seconds that it took me to decide whether to continue walking guards had come in. They drew their swords.

'The meeting has started. Zeus asks for your attendance,' one of them said. His voice sounded threatening although also somewhat shaky - I hadn't bothered to wash my armor and was still covered in blood and dirt. I guess I intimidated them.

I laughed. 'And if I don't? What are _you_ going to do?'

'I will have you hanging above Tartaros by your thumbs.' The guards backed away at the sound.

The booming voice made me look up. It sounded like thunder.

'I was under the impression that you were more creative than that, father.'

The old but powerful man smashed the heavy doors open. 'I can also have someone stab you, over and over again, for centuries, while you are unable to fight back. Come here and sit down.' There was no arguing with him, so I nodded and slipped past him into the room. The guards closed the doors behind us.

Nine of the other ten Olympian gods were there already, staring at me as I walked in. Hera, my mother, whom I had never seen looking so disappointed; my uncle Poseidon who was usually nice to me but was now clutching his trident; Dionysus the wine god obviously already drunk; Artemis on her silver throne with the all too familiar accusing look on her face; Hermes quickly concentrating on writing the minutes before the meeting had even started; Athena looking as smug as she had this afternoon; Hephaestus leaning back while his glass was being filled by one of his machines; Demeter, always taking care of everyone, now looking away in sadness. Then there was Aphrodite, locking her tear-filled eyes on me. The only one who was missing was Apollo. Ah, slacker Apollo… He missed almost as many meetings as I did.

Zeus brushed past me and sat down on his golden throne next to Hera's. I followed his example and took my place in the bronze seat alongside Dionysus. He smelled of wine. I wished I could have some, but I didn't even have a glass.

'I declare this meeting opened,' Zeus said.

Demeter frowned. 'Shouldn't we wait for Apollo? Where is he anyway?'

The gods around me started murmuring to each other, until Zeus stood up and called for silence.

'Apollo will be late.' Hermes made a quick note. 'In the meantime, let us discuss how we will handle the current situation.'

'Which current situation are you talking about, exactly?' Hephaestus smirked. 'The one where all the humans are slaughtering each other, or the one where the world is ending, or…maybe all of this, and the person who's responsible for it?'

I glared at him, clutching the armrests of my throne. He just laughed at me. I heard chuckles from some of the other gods.

Zeus took a moment before answering. 'We will focus first on the former. People killing each other does decrease the world's population, so we will not have to find a solution for stopping its growth anymore at this moment.'

'Hear, hear.' The two words had escaped my mouth before Zeus had even really finished his sentence. Everyone else in the room, even the servants, turned their head.

'Essentially, I solved this problem single-handedly,' I said smugly.

'Don't you say another word!' Zeus called out. 'You know just as well as every other person in this room that everything that has been happening this past year is your fault.'

I shrugged. 'You didn't _have_ to shower the world with lightning. You all didn't _have_ to flood the world, to leave it in darkness.'

Poseidon stood up now. He pointed his trident at me while speaking. 'Young boy, ever so naive! You really think that anything we did made the situation worse? We were only covering up for your mistakes, until you got so off the rails that you were completely out of touch with reality!'

'_I_ am the one that's out of touch with reality? No one even believes that _you_ are real! You know nothing about reality. At least I haven't been hiding out on an island these past centuries,' I said. I felt anger building inside me.

'Oh, come on,' a slurry voice said beside me. 'Let's not fight. Let's just have some more wine and talk about this in peace.'

'Shut _up_, Dionysus,' I said without looking away from Poseidon and Zeus. 'Go back to sleep, you're useless here.'

It was silent - I thought he'd fallen asleep - when suddenly a glass bottle slammed into my face, breaking and leaving deep cuts in my skin. Aphrodite gasped, looking on in horror.

Without pausing even a moment I conjured a spear and pushed it into Dionysus's chest. He sank back, mouthing something to me but close to falling unconscious.

'Don't you ever do that again,' I hissed, pushing the spear farther into his flesh.

'ARES!' Zeus's voice boomed. 'You have gone too far once again!' He knocked me back into my throne. Hephaestus encircled my bloody wrists with heavy metal cuffs attached to my throne.

Silence settled back as Zeus sat down, save for Dionysus's moaning while servants tended to his wound. I pulled on my cuffs, but the metal was too strong for me to break.

'We all know what caused all this. _Who_ caused all this,' Zeus said. Aphrodite looked away to the floor. I swallowed. Everyone kept reminding me of Emma. It was only in the moments that I could really let my emotions take over my head that I didn't think of solely her. And now my father was blaming her for everything I did… If I was guilty - and I didn't see what was really so bad about what I did - they had no right to say that Emma was anything but innocent.

'Fortunately, Apollo has been able to find a solution.'

As if on cue, the large doors opened and Apollo walked in. A girl, unmistakably human, was with him. I jumped up. The cuffs cut into my wrists, the sharp edges breaking their skin. By now my throne was covered in blood - from my battle wounds, from the bottle shards, from the cuffs. I didn't even feel the pain. All I could do was pull at the cuffs to break them loose, attempt to kick my throne backwards, scream cuss words at Apollo and everyone else in the room. Because the girl was Emma, and she was not supposed to ever be here.


	26. Chapter 26

_Hi guys! I know I've said this a thousand times before, but I am FINALLY on summer break :) two weeks before I leave for my trips... I hope to be able to write a lot more chapters of this story before I go back to college. Please review after reading!_

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><p>I stared at all the faces staring back at me. I recognized almost all of them from the Florence dinner party…but they hadn't been like this. They hadn't all been so obviously, glowingly divine. They had been wearing modern clothes. Instead, Poseidon, whose hair was now not tamed but falling down his neck in rough, short waves, was wearing some sort of toga that looked like it was made of water, and Hephaestus, who had introduced himself then as Smith and who had walked with a crutch, was now carelessly exposing his maimed leg.<p>

Apollo gave me one last nod before sitting down on his shiny throne. The half-circle of thrones, with all these tall, powerful creatures sitting there, suddenly seemed threatening; not in the least because of the one third from the left. Ares's screams and protests were so loud and ferocious and they were only amplified by the utter silence from the rest of the gods. He used curses and swear words that I had never heard before and didn't understand, but from the pure anger and aggression that he exuded and from the facial expressions of the others I could tell they were bad, very bad.

He looked so savage, as if he hadn't touched water in ages, which, to be honest, he probably hadn't, as if he had been...murdering thousands and thousands of people, which he probably had. The mix of blood, mud, dirt and whatever else, was caked on his skin and armor, so much so that I could barely see the glow and shine of both...although he seemed to have lost touch with his humanity so much that that glow was more present than ever. His eyes were blazing fire the way they had that time before our very first date, but much more radiant.

Finally, he broke his cuffs. In two long strides he was at Apollo's throne, lifting him up with a hand tight around his neck. Apollo gasped for air.

'How dare you,' Ares (in this condition, I couldn't really call him Noah) growled. 'How dare you bring her into this, how dare you even bring her here?'

'Careful there, pretty boy,' Hephaestus said. 'Don't want the girl to run away now, do we?'

Ares roared at Hephaestus, the sounds escaping from his mouth now not even remotely resembling any human word, but didn't let go of Apollo, who was close to choking.

Apollo kicked at Ares's chest plate, but without any result. He was too strong and too overcome by his insane anger.

'Let him go!' a voice boomed. I looked away from the two brothers, only to be face to face with Zeus, the king of all gods. He was holding something that looked suspiciously much like a lightning bolt. Ares looked away from Apollo, who took the moment of distraction to break free and fall back into his throne.

Zeus pushed Ares back to his own seat, but he wouldn't have it; he stopped, and when he was right in the middle of the room, Zeus seemed to give up and moved back to his wife.

'Someone had to do it,' Apollo said. His voice was still a bit creaky from the lack of air.

Ares shook his head. 'No one had to do it.' Although he seemed to have regained control over himself a bit, everyone was still backing away at the volume of his voice.

I had no idea what to do. Here I was, the tiny mortal unable to escape, but also completely useless in the situation. Apollo had said I was the one that could calm Ares down. He wasn't calm at all. If anything, my appearance had made him even crazier.

'How is she a solution?' Artemis asked Apollo all of a sudden.

Apollo massaged his throat. 'You'll see, in time.'

'Time?' Athena shrieked. 'We don't have time! We need to fix everything now, while we are still in the meeting!'

While everyone was suddenly talking to each other about how to handle this, I saw Apollo and Zeus exchanging a nod. Zeus stood up. 'Meeting adjourned.'

Those simple words made the room explode in loud protests and arguments. I didn't hear any of it. Ares finally really looked at me, and I just couldn't look away. In his eyes was a strange mix of rage, sadness and despair - and, somewhere in the depth of that look, I could see a tiny spark of happiness.

'Why are you here?' His voice was steady, I could hear none of those emotions in it.

I swallowed and remained silent. I had no idea what to say.

For a few seconds - meanwhile, the other gods were shuffling out of the room, still protesting against Zeus's decision - he stared at me. He stepped closer.

'_Why_,' he repeated, this time much more forcefully, 'are you here?'

I looked away from his piercing stare. I remembered how I had been scared of him that night I found out who he really was - that had been nothing compared to this. Blood was dripping from his entire body, his face was covered in a layer of…I didn't even know. I'd thought he was terrifying then; he was petrifying now.

He grabbed my hand. I shook it loose. Through the blood smears that were now on my fingers I already saw bruises forming.

'Don't act like that, Em.' Though still not anywhere close to human his words were now more careful.

I stepped back, not believing what he had just said. 'How am I supposed to act?' I yelled after a moment of silence. 'You've been hiding out on this cloud of yours and...you're-you're tearing everything apart and ruining the whole world and now you expect me to come running back into your arms?' The words came rolling out of my mouth and I felt as if my anger matched his. Of course it didn't.

He looked away, breaking the tense eye contact. 'I'll never expect you to do that.' That actually seemed reasonable - finally, he was making sense. 'I just need to know why the hell you are here. Why Apollo brought you here.'

He was all businesslike now. No emotion in his voice, nor in his eyes - they were far away again. I wouldn't deny that that hurt me. I stepped back.

'Does he think you can change me?' he asked. He still avoided any eye contact. He sat down in his bloody, dirty throne, making him look all the more like the war god he was, and started to take off his armor. Even underneath he was covered in filth.

I wanted to sit down, too, but the only seats in the room were the thrones and I didn't dare touch any of them. I also didn't want to sit on the floor and literally be at his feet. 'I guess so. Is that even possible now?'

He laughed. It sounded almost like a roar, there was no humor in the sound. 'Apollo is a fool to believe that. Do you believe it at all?'

I looked down. Any hope I'd had that Noah, Ares, whatever, could be redeemed and that things would go back to the way they were was now shattered. I had thought that maybe when I arrived here, he would stop and remember what we'd had, that that would be enough to help him. So stupid. Apollo had been wrong when he'd said that I was everything to Ares. He had been wrong when he'd thought I was the key to saving him and the world from his savagery.

I shook my head - I suddenly felt tears in my eyes - and wanted to walk away, but was too afraid to turn my back on Ares. Instead I walked backwards and almost stumbled over the stairs leading down from the throne platform. I regained my balance and sank down on the floor, my head in my hands now and tears falling to the floor. What was that about? In these past months I had forced myself to hate him. I'd been sure that I had succeeded. So why did I care so much? It couldn't be seeing him again. He was nothing like the person I'd fallen in love with. I might have been in love with Noah, loved him even, but I hated Ares. Everything he had done had made me hate him, loathe him, and here he was in full glory right in front of me. So why was I crying?

I looked up when two feet in soiled sandals were blocking the light. Ares bent down. Kneeling on the floor he almost looked humble. He looked into my eyes (the tears made him blurry) and put a strand of hair behind my ear. Still sobbing, I pushed his hand away.

'Don't touch me.' My voice was weak and shrill and I was sure he wouldn't care enough to listen, but he did. He nodded, moving away and sitting down on the first stair of the platform.

I wiped my tears from my face, pretty sure I looked like a blubbering mess, and looked at him carefully. He didn't seem as threatening now. Even though his appearance hadn't changed, his attitude had.

He suddenly got up. 'I'll go, uh, I'm going to wash myself,' he said, almost clumsily. 'If you need anything, just...someone will help you.' He marched away before I could ask any questions. I sat there, dumbfounded, while the tears kept streaming down my face.


	27. Chapter 27

_So this is a bit of a filler chapter, and I'm also still not sure if I'm happy with it... but since I'll be embarking on a lovely week-long trip to Sweden tonight I figured I'd just give you something :). It's longer than usual chapters and I'm thinking that maybe I should write longer chapters altogether - let me know what you think!_

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><p>Now that I was alone, I finally looked around the room. While the twelve thrones shone in all kinds of colors, all made from different materials, everything else around me was white, save for some painted reliefs. I remembered the hallways through which Apollo had led me to the room only barely - I had been much too nervous to really pay attention to my surroundings.<p>

I rubbed my eyes again, slowly got up and walked to the far end of the room, behind the platform. There was no wall here; there were a few columns, but apart from those my view of the valley was unblocked. That valley was beautiful: for miles and miles there were trees through which a river meandered. The enormous forest stopped close to the coast. The water was a beautiful dark blue stretching all the way to the horizon, the moon illuminating its surface. I stepped closer to the edge, cautious not to fall - there was nothing protecting me from that, no railing or anything, and I was still shaky - and looked around. Around me were more peaks, more mountains, though none were as high as this one. The peaks were dry and and almost arid, but for some reason the mountains seemed to be alive.

I sat down on the cold, yet not uncomfortable, marble to admire the view and to collect my thoughts. Apollo hadn't said it, but I was quite sure I was on Mount Olympus: this was definitely Greece, and if this was the gods' official meeting place...it had to be.

I squinted my eyes to see better in the dark. Right at the edge of the woods was a town…or there had been. I couldn't see it very well; I didn't, after all, have divine senses or however that worked, but I did see that the town had been destroyed in its entirety. Smoke rose up from several fires, distorting the view of the pretty valley.

I carefully stood up and turned my back to the valley. This wasn't much better: while the burning town had reminded me of Ares's frenzied destructions, the thrones, of which his bronze one was still covered in blood, only brought back what had just happened. I sighed and closed my eyes. What was I supposed to do here? Apollo had said that Ares would calm down when he saw me. Okay, that hadn't happened at first, but after Ares's initial craze Apollo had been right. Maybe I _could_ help, after all. The problem was that I had no idea how.

I opened my eyes again and looked around once more. I decided to go try and find Apollo; maybe he could tell me what to do, since he always seemed to have the answer to every question. Plus, I couldn't stay in this room for the rest of my life. A bit hesitantly, I walked toward the heavy doors and pushed them open. I quickly walked through the now somewhat familiar hallway. There were no doors, no corridors leading to this one… How big was this place, anyway?

While I was standing still debating where to go in my head, a servant (I guessed it was a servant, though I could probably never be sure of anything here) came up to me. He looked young, quite a lot younger than me actually, although like all the servants he was probably hundreds, maybe thousands of years old. 'Zeus has asked me to show you to your rooms,' he said. I frowned. I got my own rooms, with an _s_ at the end? And why was Zeus so friendly to me? 'If you would come with me.' The servant gestured at me to come and follow him. I nodded and obeyed.

The first thought that ran through my mind when the servant opened the doors was that I wanted to jump on that bed, or at least lie down on it and maybe sleep for hours on end. The pristine white sheets were the softest I'd ever seen and the bed was the biggest I'd ever seen. Although nothing in the room was modern and all the furniture looked as if it had been there ever since this palace was built, everything was _so luxurious_. Of course, nothing but luxury was to be expected from gods. I just hadn't thought they would give _me_ such a divine room.

The servant cleared his throat. 'If you like, I can prepare a meal for you, or run you a bath. Or both. I will be your servant while you are here and will do anything you ask. My name is Elpidios.'

I shifted my weight uncomfortably. 'Um...hi. I'm Emma.' He nodded. Of course he knew already.

Elpidios looked at me expectantly. 'Oh, right!' I said. I was incredibly hungry, but also incredibly sleepy…and then I could really use a relaxing bath. Food definitely outweighed the other options, though. 'Can I, uh, have some food?' I asked. He nodded, spun around and went out of the room.

I sighed and sat down on the bed. This would really take some getting used to. I wouldn't have to do _anything_ for myself. So this was how Noah lived, how all of them lived… That reminded me. I was here on a mission. I had to find Apollo, and fast - dinner would have to wait.

'Elpidios?' I tried. He probably wouldn't hear - but no, there he was in the doorway.

'Yes, Miss Sawyer?' Funny how even the servants on Mount Olympus knew English perfectly.

'Can you… I hope you're not busy cooking yet or something? Uh, can you show me where Apollo lives?' I asked. I hoped there wasn't some strict privacy policy here, where there was no way that I could ever come to Apollo if he didn't ask for me, or something.

To my surprise, Elpidios instantly nodded. 'Right this way.'

I followed him through the corridors, through the gardens (unlike the bare peaks around the palace, these gardens were lush and full of flowers and even some animals), into another, smaller palace. The complex was huge. Of course, with twelve Olympian gods and so many more others, it kind of had to be.

This building was so different: while it was still not decorated much more than the previous building, it had such a nice atmosphere. Even with the cold white marble the place seemed warm and cosy. I could faintly hear music coming from one of the rooms, and around me in the living room (or whatever it was supposed to be - I had no idea) were all kinds of instruments, most of which I didn't even recognize.

I waited while Elpidios was off to find Apollo. It took some time, and I decided to see if I could figure out how to play some of the instruments. I picked one up that looked like a small, oddly shaped harp, and started plucking the strings.

Suddenly, I heard laughter behind me. I quickly put the instrument back and swiveled around. It was Apollo.

'That's not how you're supposed to play a kithara,' he grinned.

I shrugged. 'I trust that you know best how to do it.' Of course he did. He was the god of music, and too many other things that I couldn't keep track of, after all.

He nodded. 'I sure do. How did it go with Ares?'

'It… I'm not sure.' I avoided his glance. 'Shouldn't you be with the others? They all seemed pretty angry.' I wasn't sure if I should have said that - a mortal probably wasn't supposed to call a god out on something - but Apollo made me feel comfortable. If I didn't know better, I would think we were becoming friends.

'Nah, Zeus is dealing with them, which means everyone is probably already back in their rooms.' Apollo popped something into his mouth. Probably ambrosia. Wasn't that what the Greek gods ate? I wondered what would happen if I ate it. It was probably _really_ good, like everything here seemed to be. 'So, what's up? Do you like your chambers?'

Why was he being so casual? Only less than an hour ago had there been complete chaos in the meeting room and still there was no certainty of what would happen. Not even a day ago Ares had been crushing the world. It didn't make any sense that Apollo was just eating his ambrosia and chatting to me about how much I liked it here.

'They're…nice. How long do you want me to stay here? What do you really expect me to do?' I fumbled with the zipper of my dirty jacket. Apollo had allowed me to change from my pajamas to some normal clothes before going to Olympus, but I felt as if I had had it on for ages, even if it was only a day. Was it? I had completely lost my sense of time.

He took a step closer. 'I told you. Be yourself.' He said it as if it was clear as daylight.

I shook my head. 'I can't do that if I have no idea how he'll react. I really don't know what to do, Apollo.' I bit my lip and looked up at him. 'Can you help me?'

For a long second he looked back at me, then nodded. 'Sure. Let's have some food, though. You're starving, aren't you?'

'How - Yeah.' Why would I even ask… He knew everything before anyone else did. It only made sense that he knew everything, then. I followed him into his dining room and sat down.

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><p>'What time is it?' I prodded my food with my fork. For some reason, even though I was hungry, I didn't feel like eating anymore.<p>

'Almost midnight,' Apollo replied. He was lounging on one of the chaises longues, watching me eat. Seemed like he wasn't going to talk before I'd be done eating. He remained quiet after telling me the time and I managed to finish my food in silence. It was all amazing, but I just didn't care enough to enjoy it.

'So really, what happened after we left?' he asked the moment I swallowed my last bite. He put his hands behind his head, leaning back on the chaise.

I crossed my legs on the chair, didn't even bother to ask if I could. Suddenly nervous, I bit my thumb nail. 'I honestly don't know. At first he was so...distant, and then he suddenly started to care again and then he just walked away out of the blue.'

Apollo chuckled. I glared at him. 'That's Ares for you. He's never known how to deal with emotions.' He reached out his hand to take a grape from a bowl. 'But that's exactly it. You rejected him, he doesn't know what to do with all these feelings you give him, so he resorts to doing what feels natural.'

I looked down and brushed a bit of dirt off of my shoe. 'So what are you saying? That I need to, um, un-reject him?'

He shrugged. 'It's a little more complex than that. Don't forget that this is the first time we're dealing with a situation like this, too.'

I nodded. 'I know. But what is your plan, then? You keep saying I have to calm him and I need to be myself, but it's like I forgot how to do that. I don't even know how I feel about him.'

Apollo's gaze lingered on me for bit longer after I said that. Then, he looked away and took another grape. 'Yeah, about that…'

'What?' He was always being so cryptic…

'You're gonna need to figure that out soon, because the plan…' He cleared his throat. 'We've had a few scenarios. First was to kill you.' I gasped, but he pretended not to notice. 'But, of course, that wouldn't change a thing, if anything it would make him completely lose control over himself.'

I looked away, picking at the skin around my fingernails. Apollo was talking about my _death_ like it was just any random event, as if it was one of several solutions to a problem. I couldn't deny, either, that it hurt when he'd said my death wouldn't change anything. Like I was one in seven billion people.

'So…this scenario…isn't going to happen?' I asked slowly.

Apollo shook his head. 'Zeus was all for it at the beginning, so was Aphrodite, but Athena and I convinced them it wasn't a good strategy.'

Great. The king of all the gods wanted me dead and Ares's lover wanted me out of the way. How the hell had I gotten so involved in their business? I had never wanted any part of this and now here I was, apparently that one piece that could solve the puzzle. I sighed.

'So what do I have to do?' I asked Apollo.

He leaned back on his chaise. 'Oh, not much, really. You just gotta talk to him, you know, tell him you love him, and you're good.' He said all that quickly. I had heard it loud and clear, though.

'You want me to lie to him?' I asked him incredulously.

He gave me a skeptical look. 'It's not really a lie, is it? I was there at the hospital, remember? I know how to read people. You are head over heels in love with Ares and don't try to deny it - 'cause that's just disrespectful of who I am.' I sat back a bit. It felt like he was threatening me. With his reminding me of him being a god I was also reminded of how dangerous he could be.

I swallowed. 'It's Noah that you're talking about. I barely know Ares.'

'So you'd better get to know him.' That sounded like an order. 'We need you to do this, Emma. He's in his quarters right now. Don't disappoint me.'


	28. Chapter 28

_Thanks for your reviews and sweet messages! I had a great time in Sweden, although sometimes I really wished I had brought my laptop because I had blasts of inspiration :P  
>Unfortunately I sort of failed at making this a longer chapter - it is longer than most of my previous chapters but still not entirely what I had meant it to be. I'll learn :). Also, I know you guys will probably figure it out by yourselves but just in case, the second part of this chapter is from Ares's perspective.<br>_

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><p>Ares's palace was in a remote area of the Olympian complex. In the moonlit night (apparently, Artemis was still doing her job) its walls, though shimmering, seemed as black as the sky behind them. I laid my hand on the door; it was heavy and cold, the way metal is after not being touched upon by the warm light of the sun for a while. I looked up. The whole building was made of <em>iron<em>. Strange.

I pushed the door open with some effort and stepped into the pitch black hall. It took some time for my eyes to get used to the darkness. On the floor at my right lay a long bloody spear; a few feet away was a large, round golden shield. Carefully avoiding the drops of blood coloring the floor I followed the trail of weapons and clothes into a dark corridor and then into a dark bedroom, illuminated only by the faint dying flame of a candle. Across from me was a balcony overlooking the sea. Against the light of the moon I saw a silhouette leaning on the balustrade.

He had changed from his dirty battle uniform into a soft, crispy white tunic, barefooted. With his curls not sticking soaked to his head now, he barely reminded me of that delirious ferocious scene he had just caused, were it not for the fact that I would never be able to shake that memory. I stood still in the middle of the room, not saying anything and not making a move - I just watched him intently, gazing out over the sea as he didn't seem to have noticed me yet. Minutes seemed to pass while I stood there, afraid to let my presence be known. He seemed so calm now. I was clueless as to what would happen once he was aware that I was there. He didn't move, either; I didn't even see the rhythm of his breathing. I took one quiet step closer.

'Are you stable?' he asked then, not spinning to face me. His hands were still on the balustrade, his back was still arched slightly as if he was admiring the view from the balcony.

So I guessed I'd been wrong. He'd probably known about my being there from the moment I'd set foot in his palace. 'What are you talking about?'

He looked over his shoulder now. 'The…crying.' I studied his clean-shaven face, so different from what I had witnessed earlier but also so different from the face that I'd grown used to.

I nodded. 'Guess so.' I took another cautious step in his direction. He spun around faster than I could perceive.

He let out a soft chuckle. 'So you're on your mission again. They're really not giving you any time to adjust, are they?'

I considered that for a moment. He was right: from the moment that I'd arrived here, I'd constantly been in this roller coaster. Then again, that was also my own doing.

I shrugged. 'I don't intend to adjust to anything here.'

He leaned against the balustrade. I still couldn't make out all the details of his face, his expression was hidden in the shadows. 'You should probably just go home.'

I scowled. 'Well I'm sorry, but I'm not really capable of doing that with a snap of my fingers. But if you want to get rid of me, go ahead.'

He looked down. He seemed to smile then. Why was he smiling? There was nothing to smile about. I wanted to move closer to him so I could see his face more closely, see the way he looked at me. I didn't dare to, though. With the way he was acting now I couldn't be careful enough.

He looked up again. 'Really, Emma, I know why you're here, but you're not going to make a difference.'

I felt my heart start to beat faster with anger. All these people saying I was useless, didn't make a difference in the world, drove me so crazy! I knew that all of this was way bigger than me but Apollo himself had also said that I was the only one that could do this. That guy contradicted himself all the time.

'I've already made a difference, you idiot!' I yelled at him.

It took him by surprise. He stood straighter, moved away from the balustrade in my direction. 'You really think so?' Although this was definitely sarcasm, he didn't sound as threatening as before. Was he softening up? If that was true, then I was right: I had already gotten through to him. This process would be slow and painstaking, and I really, really didn't want to do this, but at least there was progress.

'If it wasn't for me, you would still be out there chopping some poor guy's head off. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't stand there looking like you're planning to stay.'

'If it wasn't for you there wouldn't even be an issue!' he bellowed at me. The force of his voice had me startled. I silenced. For a few seconds we stared at each other, both dumbfounded, while I slowly tried to interpret what he was saying. It could mean anything. He could have meant that he was better off without me. He could have meant that my existence was the cause for all the trouble - though that seemed a bit unrealistic. Maybe he'd meant that he really was aware of the problems that he had created. But mostly he just sounded hurt.

'No- Ar…' I started. Noah was gone. I just couldn't call him Ares. I remained silent instead.

'Just go, Emma. Go.' He turned around again, his elbows leaning on the balustrade. I stood there for a while, unable to move, until he looked over his shoulder. Even though I could barely see his eyes, I felt the distance between us. I turned on my feet and left the room, going straight to my bedroom in the main building to cry myself to sleep. I really. just. wanted. to go home.

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><p>Minutes after I heard Emma leave I finally went back into the room. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut and then open, and sighed. Emma had been right. She had made a difference the moment she stepped foot on Olympus. She had gotten under my skin the moment I met her. She'd been right that I wanted to stay. Just being home and seeing her had made me see clearly. It wasn't that I was sick of fighting battles and feeling like a god again - I would never get sick of any of that.<p>

I had left New York in complete agony and rage and I had indulged in bloodshed in order to deal with those feelings the way I had back in Greece. But ever since we'd left Greece for Italy I had changed as a person. I'd learned to think with my head instead of my heart and my fists. Responsibilities had made me grow up. Living among mortals for centuries had taught me to understand them. I hadn't lost myself. In fights I still was invincible, war still was the only thing on my mind then. But afterwards I would realize that they didn't satisfy me the way they used to. I realized that now more than ever. Battle gave me a short rush of adrenaline, but when they ended all I was, was alone. And that was exactly how I felt right now.

I lay down on my bed, my head buried in my pillow and my fists clenched. I rolled around.

'Gaaaaah!'

I knew everyone on Olympus and probably also plenty of mortals down in the valley could hear my desperate call. I knew Emma could. I told myself I didn't care about that, about her - but I knew very well that I wanted so badly to go to her chambers, lie next to her in her bed, hold her tight. I wasn't used to not getting what I wanted from mortals. They were always to eager to comply, either out of fear and intimidation or out of sheer exhilaration of pleasing me. Not Emma. Was she a weakness in me? Or had she simply entered my heart?

I stared at the ceiling as I thought this over. I needed to approach this logically. This problem that my fellow gods were talking about wasn't mine to fix - I was, according to them, the problem itself after all - and I wouldn't just drop my weapons and my pride at their request, so I might as well play around a little before I would pretend to crack under their pressure. In the meantime, I would get to see Emma with their approval, something that had rarely happened before. I smiled. Things were actually going well. The only problem was really that I didn't know how to act around her. This wasn't the first time I'd seen her since I left her in the Italian hospital; in these past months, I'd checked up on her regularly, any time that I wasn't on the battlefield. It was, however, the first time since then that I had any real contact with her. I knew how she felt about me, about Ares - the look on her face when she entered the room, when we talked after the meeting, when she was just here, they all spoke volumes. I repulsed her. I abhorred her. How was I ever supposed to get her back if she would never take me for who I was? I was, honestly, not really helping myself with that, either; but sarcasm and indifference would keep her at a distance, and that felt safe. If she wasn't to be mine anymore, the least I could do was to make sure I wouldn't get my hopes up for nothing.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. I needed to sleep. Anything was better than to mull over all this all night, all alone.

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><p><em>Tiny spoiler: we may be seeing more of Aphrodite soon. In the meantime, please review this chapter :) let me know whatever you like and don't like, so I know what to work on; in the end, I just want to be a better writer!<em>


	29. Chapter 29

_Hi guys! I'm sorry for not updating for a while, but I was in France without an internet connection and, honestly, without any time to write. I'd planned on uploading a chapter the day before I left, but I really wasn't happy with it... That was the chapter with the Aphrodite thing but it just didn't fit into the story, not right now at least. Maybe in the case I ever rewrite the story, I might use it._

_Howeverrrr some of you read my mind, especially those that suggested I have Eros tell Emma things! Because that was exactly what I planned._

_To be honest I've had a bit of a writer's block lately but I really wanted to put something online. Hope you're happy with it. :)_

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><p>She looked so calm. She accepted her fate. Towering over her was my father, his fists raised in a display of excessive power while the dark sky contracted and thunder rumbled above Olympus. Lightning could hit Emma any second, killing her in an instant. I looked around me. Right across from me, Apollo was nervously biting his lower lip. Athena was partly hidden behind Zeus's body, but I could see her discomfort at Zeus's disagreement with her. Everyone else looked on indifferently, besides Aphrodite, who seemed almost excited (but why was she really?) - at her side, Hephaestus gazed at the scene in the middle of the platform, occasionally shooting Aphrodite sulky glances.<p>

I tried to get up from my throne, to stop my father from killing her. I couldn't. I looked down at my wrists; there were no metal cuffs to hold me back. I tried to stand up again, but it was as if I couldn't even move. I stared at Hephaestus. This had to be his doing, just like when he had caught me and Aphrodite in that invisible net.

'Cripple! Let me go or I _swear_ I will break each and every bone in your body and burn you in your own fi-' But he did not even look up. No one did. They weren't just ignoring me, they simply couldn't hear me or see me. There was nothing I could do but helplessly watch Zeus thrust a lightning bolt into Emma's heart and see her fall to her death.

I awoke with a jolt. Sweat was beading on my forehead. I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them, squinting against the bright sunlight (well, at least Apollo had got over himself…the arrogant bastard). As I sat upright, panting a bit, I tried to figure out what had just happened. While I was by no means clairvoyant, I knew better than to trust my dreams to be merely dreams.

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><p>Although I slept dreamlessly, my eyes were red and puffy when I woke up. I rubbed them, only making it worse. I kicked the sheets away (god, this bed was so comfortable) and stretched, slowly opening my eyes as I did so.<p>

In the corner of the room was a short, skinny guy, probably around fifteen years old. I recognized him instantly, but not because of the fact I'd seen him at the dinner party. His flapping white wings gave him away. Eros. I backed away against the headrest of my bed. What if he was here to shoot me? Would that hurt? Would it necessarily be a bad thing?

I held my hand up to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight. I hadn't even bothered to close the curtains last night, expecting the day to be just as dark as the night, but for some reason the sun was up.

Eros stood up from his chair. I pushed myself into the headrest, even though that was useless, but he raised a hand.

'Don't worry, I didn't even bring my arrows. My mom wants me to shoot some lead into you, though, and I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't vote against a golden one.'

I took a deep breath and relaxed a bit. 'Aren't you supposed to obey them?'

He looked away. He appeared almost disappointed and guilty, as if I had busted him on this. 'Yeah, um, I used to all the time, but since I'll never grow beyond puberty I guess I have the right to be rebellious sometimes.'

I laughed. Eros seemed like a genuinely sweet guy. I could almost relate to him. Even with such bad parents, he didn't seem very messed-up.

He looked serious then, wise beyond his physical years. 'I want you to be able to make your own choice.'

'So why'd you come here?' I asked him softly after a moment of quiet. 'If you're not gonna do anything?'

He fiddled with a feather of his left wing, his glance averted from me. 'It's just… It hurts me to see you and my dad fighting, because I _know_ you two love each other and that… It just really hurts me.' He looked up and I saw it then. Eros did look hurt, wounded and sick even. I'd had no idea that gods could experience this kind of physical effect from humans' actions.

He kept on talking, so fast that I could barely follow what he was saying. 'And I know you have every reason to not want to be with him right now so I can't really do anything about it but I wish _so _much that I could so I could make my mom proud for once and my dad would be happy for once so…' He trailed off, deeply inhaling a lot of fresh air. I stared at him. I guess I had seen Ares nervous once, maybe twice, but never had I seen a god look so incredibly uneasy. With his centuries, no, millennia of life experience I might have expected Eros to be this age-old guy trapped in a kid's body, but he really just was a teenager.

Eros stared out the window for a little while, obviously collecting his thoughts. 'Can I just tell you some things? About him? It's the least I can do to try to fix this.'

I bit my lower lip. 'Can you? And are you really supposed to?'

He shook his head, more to himself, it seemed, than to me. 'I don't know! I'm a god of love, what else am I supposed to do?' He looked so lost and small that I couldn't help but want to hug him. Even his wings were folded, weakened.

'I'll listen,' I said, more to comfort him than because I thought he would change my mind.

He perked up - his wings went along with him- and beamed at me. 'Okay! Great!' he said cheerily and settled back into his chair, assuming a typical storyteller position. I smiled. He really didn't seem a day older than fifteen.

'So. I'm not saying that I accept the things that my dad does. But you gotta understand that he's not just dirty bloody war. I mean, I've seen him in battle and it's not pretty, but he's more than that, you know?' Without waiting for any response from my side, he continued. 'So first of all, this is a _really _long time ago and I only know it from stories, but I heard that he really made Grandpa proud by defeating the Titans, which is a pretty big deal. And then there were the Gigantes and… well, a lot of other things, but what I'm trying to say is that he has always been the defender of Olympus, and he's always been protecting us all. Your people, too, 'cause civil order and police and all are his thing.' He was, again, talking insanely fast, but this time it was from sheer happiness. I didn't think I'd ever met someone as enthusiastic as Eros.

'That's great and all, but -'

'I'm not done! You said you'd listen.' I nodded. This kid was, in a way, _younger_ than me but still I couldn't deny his authority.

'Uh, and do you know my half-sisters? They've been dead since forever but I think you mortals still know them - the Amazons?' I nodded again in confirmation. 'He's their father. He hasn't always been a good dad to me because I'm so different,' - another stare out the window - 'but he really loves all his children and I think it's really important you know that.'

Eros was quiet for a while, keeping his glance away from me while obviously over-thinking what he was telling me. I figured he probably didn't have many people to talk to. Olympus seemed like a place where everyone was constantly fighting over something but no one ever took the time to care for one another. I wondered whether I was right about that.

Eros took a deep breath and smiled warmly, happily. 'I went to high school a few times. Before, well, everything. And I always wanted to do archery but I'd be too unnaturally good at that, so I had to pick something else. With every new school I wanted to do something new, 'cause I get bored pretty quickly… Anyway, I always had to learn before I could actually play, but my dad helped me practice all the time, even when he didn't know how to do things himself. So I got to spend more time with him than I'd had in _ages_ because he was always so busy.'

I hugged my knees. I wasn't sure if I was surprised at this story. It was a new side of Ares, a fatherly side that I had, of course, never seen before, but it just fit Noah so well. 'Even when you left Greece?' I asked.

He looked at me in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. 'Are you serious? That was when it _started_. Then we all got our new names, I hated my Roman name, and all of a sudden Dad was second in charge of everything and I hardly ever even saw him. Do you know _anything_ about Roman mythology at all?'

I was about to answer that I hardly knew a thing, besides the fact that Ares was called Mars among the Romans, when the doors broke open and Apollo pounded into the room. He grabbed Eros from his chair and set him on the ground with more force than I had yet seen from him.

'Eros, go,' he barked. Clearly afraid, Eros took one look at me and then stalked out of the room.

Apollo went to stand in front of my bed. 'Didn't make much progress, did you?'

I grabbed my knees tighter. 'What do you mean?' Apollo's voice was seething, and I had no idea why. Last night at his palace he'd already been a bit threatening, but that was nothing compared to how scary he looked now, making me feel so tiny and vulnerable.

'I foresaw you leaving Olympus, just giving up, _betraying _me. Betraying all of us.' He took a step closer. I released my knees and got off the bed, trying to put as much distance as I could between us.

'I didn't do anything!' I protested.

He closed in. 'But you will. I'm never wrong. You want to leave, don't you?'

I swallowed. That was true. I hadn't even thought of leaving - I wouldn't know how - but more than anything I wanted to be away from here.

Apollo's lips curled up into a smile. He still looked so innocent. So fake. 'I knew it,' he said triumphantly.

So he read minds? I could've expected that. I felt my throat contracting and tears starting to fall from my eyes. 'I don't want anything to do with any of you. Let me go,' I cried.

In less than a second my back was against the wall. He slammed his fist into the wall, his body pushing hard against mine. He grabbed my wrists, rendering me completely nailed down and still. 'You will never go.'

I tried to push him away, but of course I was no match for him. 'But, I -' I sobbed, not even able to form coherent sentences now. I had betrayed him? Fine, I might be 'just a mortal' but what was this then? I struggled, but after a while I felt so defeated I closed my eyes to block his shine out. His grip softened. I didn't even have the energy to try fighting myself loose now.


	30. Chapter 30

_Quicker update this time :) I'm sort of working towards the end now._

_At the end I used some medical language but since English is not my native language (and I'm not a doctor) I'm not 100% sure it's correct. If anything, I can always blame it on the character using the words :)  
>As for the Italian used in this chapter: you'll find some free translations at the bottom. Still, I'm also not Italian, so I'll never know if Google Translate is a good help.<em>

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><p>A cold bath gave me the clarity of mind to decide what to do with my dream. I obviously had to do <em>something<em>. The dream had to mean _something_.

My first thought was that Aphrodite had been involved, or that, maybe, she was about to be. She definitely had the power to influence my father's decisions - and Zeus had the final say in everything. She had a motive, too. Although neither of us had acted on it ever since I'd killed Adonis, a sexual tension, a pull, always remained. It made sense for her to want to get rid of Emma; she had done so with enough of her predecessors for me to see a pattern. There was Elisabetta, in Florence: poisoned, with a deadly flower. In Rouen, Claudine: she had been driven insane with lust and killed herself. She had even gotten to Elene, back in Thrace, to take revenge for Adonis' death. Virginia had died before Aphrodite'd had a chance to get her out of the way.

I realized, though, that that wouldn't make sense. Aphrodite was sly, but she was also impulsive. If she wanted Emma dead, she would have taken care of that much earlier, instead of waited to tell our father so he could do the honors.

Who was it, then? It couldn't be Hephaestus: he wanted Emma alive for the exact reasons Aphrodite wanted her dead. Apollo was out of the question. It had been his idea to keep Emma alive in the first place. Most of the Olympians had no reason to interfere. It had to be Zeus, then. I had to talk to him, talk him out of rushing into conclusions and irrevocable acts.

I stepped out of the bath and dried myself, then dressed. I chose to put on armor and take a weapon with me; one could never be too careful around Zeus.

My walk to Zeus' palace, incidentally also housing the throne room, was long and slow. I needed the time to figure out how I would discuss the situation with my father. As I walked through the corridors of the palace I still hadn't planned anything; I would just go along with the conversation as it came. That wasn't a good strategy, I knew that, especially not for me - but it was all I had.

I paused as I saw the open doors of one of the guest rooms, a few yards from me. That had to be Emma's room; she was the only guest currently here, besides Persephone who was staying in Demeter's palace. Quietly, I sneaked towards her room, peering inside once I was concealed by the door. The moment I saw Apollo holding her against the wall, I lost control and sprinted towards him.

'_Cornuto! Che cazzo fai?! Lasciarla andare!_' I yelled, breaking him off of her and throwing him on the ground. He got up in a heartbeat, now holding a crossbow and pointing it at my face. Emma had, in the meantime, fallen unconscious and slid to the ground.

'Nothing to get so worked up over, _fratello_.' He spoke much too casually for my liking.

I grabbed the crossbow from his hands and broke it in two pieces. Of course, in a second a new one appeared. I cursed under my breath. 'Don't you taunt me!'

'Or _what_?' Apollo lowered his crossbow, but just a bit: it was now pointed at my chest. 'I'm doing this for you.'

'How can _any_ of this be for my benefit?' I hollered.

He glanced down to Emma, who was face-down on the floor. I followed his gaze. A trail of saliva dripped down from her mouth. 'She's leaving,' he said. 'She's leaving you, she said, I quote, that she didn't want anything to do with any of us. Thought I'd punish her for messing up my plan.'

'Which is?' I knew the answer to that question - but had to keep up appearances. Apollo though, of all people, didn't seem to know the consequences of his actions: Emma's being here alone had already, as she'd said, made some difference. But now Apollo had brought my hate down on himself, and _he_ was the one messing up his own plan.

He ignored my question. 'Look, Ares, I know what it feels like, okay? You remember Daphne. Thought she'd outrun me. But all she did was hurt me and that's exactly what Emma is going to do to you. Again.'

'So you were just going to kill her?' I asked sharply. I was torn between believing what Apollo said and slamming him on the ground. I looked at Emma. She didn't look well at all, but I couldn't help her right now. I had to know the truth.

'No. I was going to hand her over to Zeus.'

I frowned. 'Did you give me that dream?'

'What dream?'

'She - We were in a meeting. Zeus was executing her, and I couldn't do anything to stop him.'

Apollo's eyes narrowed a bit. Then, he shrugged. 'No, wasn't me. I guess someone found out and leaked it to you.'

So at least I had one ally, but I didn't know if I would ever find out who it was. My dream had hardly offered any indications.

'Don't touch her,' I warned as Apollo bent down to Emma's side.

He turned his head, an eyebrow raised, and put a finger on her cheek to turn her head so she could at least breathe.

I pulled my knife from my belt. 'I said, _don't touch her_.'

Apollo straightened his back. 'It's for your own good, Ares, really.'

'Step away from her,' I demanded. When he only lifted his crossbow in response, I dove at him, smashing him to the floor, holding the knife against his throat with my left hand and punching him with my right hand. The crossbow had fallen with a rattle. He grabbed my left wrist with both hands, but failed to push me away - he was ridiculously overpowered, what with half my body weight pushing down on him.

'Cool it, Ares,' Apollo spit out. I barely even heard him. I was overcome with anger - almost as intensely as I had been at yesterday's meeting. I slid the knife higher up his throat, breaking its skin. Apollo tried to kick me away, which resulted in a hit to my groin - I curled up in pain; he quickly got out from under me and picked up his bow, then shot an arrow at my chest. The arrow didn't puncture my armor, but was stuck. He prepared to shoot another, at my face this time. I leapt forward - biting away the agonizing pain in my crotch - and grabbed his throat, pushing my fingers into his skin as hard as I could.

'Don't forget you've only beaten me once,' I hissed. He didn't have enough air in his lungs to answer, only stared at me, gasping.

'Noah! NOAH. NOAH!' Only at the third time did I hear her. I hadn't heard that name in so long that it didn't feel like mine anymore. I spun around, taking Apollo with me in that swing, to find her sitting up and heavily leaning against the wall.

'You're killing him,' she simply stated.

I snorted. 'I don't think I ever will, huh, Apollo?' I turned my glance to him and pushed a little harder on his throat.

'Stop it!' Emma tried to stand up, but her body wouldn't let her.

I let my grip weaken, but didn't release him. 'Emma, he was about to _have you killed_.'

She looked down and picked at her thumb. 'Yeah, but don't murder your-your _brother_ over me,' she said quietly.

As she spun her lower arm I could see the bruises on her wrist. It was dotted with blue and purple and red shapes - I could even see vague stripes from Apollo's fingers.

'Oh, shit,' I muttered and knelt down to examine the bruises, letting go of Apollo. She was reluctant at first, but I wouldn't let her hide her arms from me. Next to us, Apollo was clutching his throat and softly moaning while he struggled to regain his breath. I shut him out.

Emma looked away as I traced the bruises and hematomas on both her arms. 'I'm not sure if this will go away by itself,' I said, 'now if only I could get the god of healing to take a look…' She chuckled softly but halfheartedly as I shot Apollo a look.

'Bad enough for me to need him?' she asked with a tiny smile. I could see on her face, though, that the thought scared her.

I shrugged, still not letting go of her wrist although not examining it anymore. 'We'll see. I can always find you another physician on Olympus.' I realized that might be hard, seeing as they were all descended from Apollo, but decided not to tell her for now. 'Does it hurt much?' I asked. Maybe Epione could help and soothe the pain.

She shook her head. 'I'm okay, as long as you don't press on it.' She looked down pointedly.

I yanked my hands back. 'I - oh - I'm sorry.' I'd thought that by now I'd learned to know my own strength. I guess in a short while I'd forgotten again.

Emma smiled. 'That's the first time I've ever heard you say that.'

The moment our glances met I looked away. What was this? How had Emma gone back from being scared of me to calling me by my human alias? It was as if something had changed her perspective of me, something that I wasn't aware of.

I coughed. 'You should probably take a shower. Freshen up.' She remained seated for a moment, then she nodded and got up. It took her some effort, but I refused to touch her, afraid to cause her any pain.

Once she had gone into the bathroom I took off my armor to remove Apollo's arrow and dropped the bronze pieces on the ground. My brother sat in the corner glaring at me. Every physical mark of our fight was already gone.

'Well, if that wasn't a nice reunion.'

I bent my knees to pick up my knife. 'Shut up, Apollo.'

'No, seriously. Ef-fort-less.'

With a faint _thump_ the knife got stuck in the wall right next to his head. He only slightly looked up. 'Fine, I'll go. But just so you know, she's going to want answers.'

He left the room and I was once again by myself. I sighed and leaned against the bed. Answers. The only thing I'd ever told her was a light version of what happened to Virginia. This was pretty much the first time I would ever tell her something about myself. I'd better prepare.

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><p>'<em>Cornuto! Che cazzo fai?! Lasciarla andare!<em>'

'Cornuto' is a _very_ bad swearword in Italian - literally 'horned'.  
>'Che cazzo fai?' - 'What the fuck are you doing?'<br>'Lasciarla andare' - 'Let her go'

_'fratello'_

'brother' - I went for 'little brother'


	31. Chapter 31

Only when I stripped off my clothes could I really see the impact of Apollo's sudden attack. I had seen my wrists, that felt like they were broken and of which the skin color looked more like squashed cherries than actual skin, and my entire body felt sore, but as I looked in the mirror at my naked body it was all visible. There were red blotches where my hipbones stuck out. The bruises on my shoulders were already turning green and yellow. I even thought I saw dents in my body - was that possible at all?

I stared at my reflection for a few seconds and sighed. Nothing I could do about that now. I quickly found my way into the shower to get away from the mirror and turned on the cold water. The water streaming down my face blended with my tears, tears that I hadn't wanted to show around Ares and Apollo. I still couldn't believe what Apollo had done; he'd only ever helped me, before this happened. I had genuinely thought he was something like a friend. I had thought he was one of the good gods, as good as they could be anyway; I had thought he was honest. He'd just turned around and destroyed every last bit of my trust of him. He'd saved my life back in Florence, and now he'd been about to end it.

And then Ares. Noah. I didn't even know why I'd suddenly found myself calling him that. He hadn't even reminded me of the time when all I knew was Noah, no, if he'd reminded me of any moment it was last night, when I entered the throne room. Something had been different about him, though. I had seen it in his palace, on his balcony - but then there'd still been so much distance. Although that distance was far from gone, now he was almost…sweet. The sarcasm was gone, the sarcasm that had hardly been a part of him when he was only Noah. He was so different then. He was also so different from what I would have ever expected from the Ares that I knew from stories - that had been clear the moment I found out about his true nature. I realized that after all this time, Ares was still a mystery to me.

I stayed in the shower far longer than necessary. I stayed minutes and minutes after I was done washing my hair, scrubbing all the dirt off from the last few days - after all, the last time I'd showered had been…the day before yesterday, at least - and thinking about how to talk to Ares now. Finally, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself with the incredibly soft, white towel. Elpidios had put fresh, new clothes in the bathroom: normal, modern, human clothes, not those ancient Greek things I saw everyone here wear.

Clean and dressed I went back into the bedroom. I let out a relieved sigh when I saw Apollo wasn't there anymore. Ares sat on the floor by my bed. His eyes seemed far away, as if he was deeply lost in a train of thought. I quietly walked to the bed on my toes and sat down. I folded my lower legs under my thighs and stared at his back, his tousled hair, his knife in the wall - woah, what happened when I was in the bathroom?

He slowly stood up and turned around. 'Apollo said you want answers.'

I averted my glance at hearing that name. 'What's his problem anyway?'

Ares shrugged and sat down in the chair Eros had sat in only a bit earlier. 'Apollo tends to rely more on the future than the present. Not always a good thing. What do you want to know?'

That was all he had to say about Apollo? Okay, he wasn't exactly _defending_ him, but a little more understanding would be nice. I was about to protest to him about that, but then stopped myself: now that I had the chance to ask him questions, more directly and honestly than back in New York, or in Italy, or any other time, I had to seize it. 'Everything.'

An amused smile broke through his tired face. 'Everything's gonna be a long story.'

I raised my eyebrows. 'I have time. It's not like I'm going anywhere.'

He chuckled. 'Sure, I guess, but I have to start somewhere.'

'How about the start? Your son was about to tell me more about you in Rome. Then Apollo barged in before he could say anything.'

He now looked generally surprised and leaned forward. 'My son was here? Which one?'

Of course. There were more. I knew that already, and Eros had mentioned them, but to hear him say this so casually was like a slap in the face. I was sure not all of his children were also Aphrodite's - in his lifetime, there must have been hundreds of women and girls like me. I was no one special. I was just another girl in the long line, with hundreds to follow. I bit my lip, hugged myself. 'Eros. He told me some things about you…in Greece. And about his relationship with you.'

Ares sat back in the chair. He lifted an arm and rubbed the back of his neck. For a few seconds, there was silence. 'So, basically, things you could have gotten out of a mythology book,' he said then. The distance, the sarcasm. They were both back again. He wasn't as convincing as earlier, though.

I shrugged and let one hand fall down, while still clutching my upper arm with the other. 'It's just…' I wanted to know what he had been doing all these years. What kind of a person he had been, what aliases he had adopted. They had to have influenced him in some way. But more than anything I wanted to know what _I_ was to him - maybe it was petty of me, but I wanted so badly to hear I was more than one of his many girls. I wanted to know he could still be the guy Noah had been to me. I wanted to hear that with every new identity, there _wasn't_ a new love interest to accompany him. I looked away as I struggled to find the right words, the right question to ask.

From the corner of my eye I saw a brief faint light. I looked back. He was still tall, still muscular, but smaller; his tunic and bronze shin protectors had been replaced by a simple shirt and jeans. Noah. Finally I got to see him again. 'Will this make it easier for you?' Even his voice was different: flatter, not as low.  
>I wanted to jump into his arms, hug him, kiss him, tell him I'd missed him, but it wouldn't be right. Because he'd been here all along. Ares was Noah and Noah was Ares.<p>

I shook my head. No, it didn't make it easier. At all. It only confused me more and my emotions were completely messed up. But if I was supposed to get used to this, I needed to see him as Ares. If I was supposed to accept the answers he gave me as reality I had to see the real him. As much as I liked seeing him look _human_ again, it wasn't him, not really. I plucked a feather from the duvet. 'I don't think that's really a solution anymore.'

He got up from the chair and in the time it took him to get from there to my bed, he changed back to himself, somehow with all his completely intact bronze armor included. He sat down close enough to put a hand on my knee. 'What is it, Em?' It felt strange to hear him say that so sincerely, while he was there in his battle uniform, ready to go off and fight some war. His calmness simply didn't suit him.

I shrugged and moved my knee away. It didn't hurt so much when he touched it, but it just felt a bit awkward. 'I kind of…it's…you are the bedtime story I grew up with. You used to give me nightmares. And now I'm here and this is the first time since - since the car thing that we can really talk and I just realized I barely even _know_ you. You probably know everything about me, and I don't even know your birthday. You've only ever told me about the basic things and about, uh, Virginia and I feel so stupid for being jealous of a girl who's been_ dead_ for over seventy years. I don't even know if I should be jealous of only her or…I mean, I can't be the only one, right?' He listened to my rant carefully, intently looking at my lips as I spoke. When I was done, he crossed his legs over each other on the bed - it looked like a very complicated pose with all his heavy armor, but he managed to do it.

'So what you're really asking is, will you tell me about all the girls you've had?' He raised his eyebrows. I groaned. The way he said 'all the girls' didn't make me feel any better.

'I guess.'

He shrugged. The metal of his armor made a soft clanking sound. 'I can tell you that. There's no sense in keeping my life a secret. But in order to include all those who came before you, I'll have to go back all the way to Thrace.'

_All those who came before you._ God. This was so normal to him. His story would span over five thousand years. Enough time for him to have been with not hundreds, but _thousands_ of women. Enough time to make love meaningless to him. I had to know how much I was worth - Aphrodite had set the standard. That had to be a pretty high one. 'Okay. Do it.'

He cleared his throat. 'It really is a long story, though.'

I sighed. 'Just start already.' He nodded and took a deep breath.


	32. The Monologue: Elene

_The following few chapters will all be monologues. Hence the title :) Ares's got a shitload of explaining to do, and it starts here. Let me know what you think!_

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><p>'The first thing you should know is that you're right, Emma, you are not the only one. But you are one of very few. If I were going to tell you about all the <em>women I've had<em>, literally, I would be talking for hours and hours on end, because I want to be honest with you and I would be listing every woman I've ever had sex with.' He didn't seem to realize how much that hurt me. Not only did it hurt - it also made me feel _so _inadequate. I'd only had three sexual partners, including him. He probably wasn't able to count how many he'd had. But he just kept talking. I chose to just listen and never interrupted him.

'The thing about that is - when I was young, back in Greece, barely anyone accepted me for who I was. Such hatred turns you against people, it makes you push them away. That's what I did. I shut everyone out, I shut my own feelings out. I've been doing that off and on my whole life. But I was alone, and those women brought relief from the constant loneliness. That was all that they gave me.

'So far there have been six women that have really made me feel again. They are Elene, Valeria, Elisabetta Morandi, Claudine Richelieu, Virginia Mayfield and Emma Sawyer. All of you have meant, or mean, a lot to me, each in your own way.

'You know I was born in Thrace - commonly known as the most barbarian region of Greece at the time. That is where I met Elene. I spent most of my time in Thrace, it was where I felt at home.' He smiled a little. 'See, you've got to understand that I hadn't grown up yet. I hadn't learned how to adapt. I was actually a lot like…what you witnessed yesterday.

'Elene was a priestess in my temple. She had been raised to be a priestess. Her whole life was devoted to me, but I don't think she expected to ever really meet me - I kept to myself most of the time. I would sometimes disguise myself as a mortal, just to see what my priests and priestesses were up to when I wasn't around, and she caught my eye. She didn't seem to belong there. She wasn't much like everyone else in Thrace. I can't say she was _sophisticated_, she wasn't, but there was something about her that made her stand out. For the first time in my life I was in love, really in love, with a mortal. I came back in the same disguise more and more often. It was the only way that I dared talk to her. I was afraid that she wouldn't want me if she knew who I was…which was ridiculous. I was the reason she had a roof over her head.

'She didn't like me very much. I was constantly trying to get her attention. I was barely a hundred years old and I'd never felt anything like that before. It consumed me. I didn't have the focus to shut out my emotions. She made me lose my mind when I was around her. I hardly managed, but I kept my mortal disguise for months, trying to make her fall for me. It never worked: she had sworn to serve Ares, me, and nothing I did could break her away from her oath. It was ironic… I was jealous of myself. I decided to leave her alone and stopped going there as a mortal, however hard that was, but I wanted to see if she would miss me. She didn't. If anything, she was happy to see me gone. It tore me apart to see her care so little, to see that my love was unrequited. One day, I just couldn't take it anymore and wanted revenge - I don't even know what I was going to do. I had no idea how to feel. She had dug her way into my entire body and taken over my every thought, and she didn't even want me. I felt so defeated when even my priestess hated me; at that point I didn't realize that it wasn't really me that she rejected.

'So one day, I went to the temple without the disguise. I hadn't done that once since Elene became a priestess. My priests and priestesses were used to at least being given signs that I still watched over them, if they didn't get to see me in person, but ever since I'd first seen Elene I hadn't given them anything. They thought I was mad or disappointed at them. They started to give me more sacrifices every day. I interrupted Elene in such a ritual. At first I frightened her, but that didn't surprise me much. I was used to that. After the initial shock, though, there was a change, the fear was gone. I don't remember exactly what happened, my memories are hazy; it's so long ago. In that one moment I realized that with her, it was no use pretending to be mortal: she accepted me wholly for who I am. Was. She'd grown up with brothers and cousins who were much like me. My urges to fight weren't new to her. I should have known: she was a Thracian, after all.

'It took me a while, but eventually I confessed that I had been the annoying temple visitor. I remember her laughing, saying that she never expected that, that she liked seeing the real me much more than seeing my human alter ego.

'It didn't take her long to fall for me. I hardly had a hand in that, I had no idea how to woo a human girl for more than physicality. But she wanted me. For a few short months, I couldn't even be dragged out of the temple.

'Then Aphrodite came along. She wasn't yet married to Hephaestus, but we'd been circling around each other for decades before I met Elene. One of the reasons why I had moved back to Thrace from Olympus was Aphrodite; we didn't always work. It was exhausting. Elene gave me…not peace, that wasn't what I was after, but she gave me…tranquility. Aphrodite was jealous, as she always is. I'm actually surprised she hasn't done anything to hurt you. With Elene, I made it so easy for her. She used my own weapons against us. Aphrodite isn't just the goddess of love; with love comes hate. She lured me away to a battle, one that could rival the Trojan battles. That's my own metaphor - the Trojan War still had to start. It was fake: I needed so little time to travel there and back to Thrace, but when I returned she had already done her trick and turned Elene against me. There was nothing I could do. She had relentlessly taken Elene from me. She took Elene to one of her own temples and I never saw her again after that. It wasn't as if she was dead to me - it was _worse_. To know that out there was the girl I loved who hated me now stung so much that it changed me. Elene had taught me that I could be myself _and_ be worthy of acceptance. That was all lost. I was back where I started, the ruthless warrior, incapable of compassion.

'Once Elene died, which I only heard a few years after the fact, from Helios, I found it in myself to let myself be more than just a - I think you could call it a killing machine.' He smiled. A sad smile.

'After that….the stories tell you what happened after that. Aphrodite and I made up, though that took a couple of centuries. We had our children, she married Hephaestus. There were other mortal women, I knew how to do it by then, but I never felt enough for them to have Aphrodite intervene. That is…until Rome.'


	33. The Monologue: Valeria

_So... It took me so much effort to write this chapter, and edit it. I could have written much more, made it an entire novel instead of just a chapter, so I could include the entire world history from 500 BC to the fourteenth century... But that was a bit too much :) Instead, I decided to focus on Europe and the (Western) Roman Empire in particular.  
>This chapter's not so much about a girl as about Ares' exploits during this time period. I hope you like that lack of lady drama, for a change :) please review! I'm curious what you think!<em>

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><p>A long silence followed. I couldn't tear my glance away from him; he didn't look back at me once. A few times his lips moved as if he was starting to say something, but each time he stopped himself. It gave me time to think about Elene, and about what she had meant to him. From what I gathered from the story, Elene had made him come alive. She had been the example after which every single one of his relationships with mortals would be modeled. At least, that was what I supposed. On the other hand, they hadn't been together for long, so -<p>

'It took me so long to be able to love a mortal woman the way I did Elene,' he said, interrupting my thoughts. I waited patiently for him to continue, but he kept staring out the window, silent. After a few seconds, he started talking again.

'I never returned to Thrace as often as I used to. I always traveled around the world, but Greece was the place where we all settled. At the end of the Dark Ages, you know, by the beginning of the eighth century BC, I followed some of the Greeks to Italy. Wasn't called Italy back then, of course. The Romans called it Magna Graeca. Most of my family liked to stay in Greece, it was when culture and politics started to bloom, but I had grown fond of Italy. I stayed there. Do you know how Rome was founded?' I nodded. I knew, vaguely. My mom had told me about the twins who were raised by the wolf and who would grow up to become the founders of Rome. One of them would, anyway.

'Okay. I won't be repeating that, then. I just…I just wish that Romulus and Remus had known better than to fight each other to the death.' He shook his head briefly. I saw a quick flash of sorrow in his eyes and knew that Eros had been right: Ares cared, he cared so much about his children. He cleared his throat and looked up, finally talking to me again instead of to the window.

'The wars in Greece and Persia, and in Asia and Africa, too, kept me busy for a couple of centuries, but in the meantime Rome was growing. I was important to the Romans - I had fathered their founders, after all. While the other gods were still back home, I decided to settle and help build the city. It was already a military nation when it was still a kingdom. That made me feel at home - Rome was what Thrace couldn't be to me anymore.

'It didn't take long for my family to follow me and move to Rome. They didn't _abandon_ Greece, but they saw the Roman potential. Around the time Rome became a Republic the people also came in contact with Greek culture - and therefore with us. They'd known us before: the Etruscans had their own names for us. My name among the Romans was Mars. But with Greek culture came Greek religious practices, and we were again revered the way we were used to in Greece. Structures were different in Rome, though: like I said, I was second in command, right behind my father, and I was at the top of my power.

'Such a radical shift from being loathed to being worshipped by _everyone_ changed me. It made me arrogant and egocentric. I can't say I was selfish, though - I loved the city, I loved the entire Roman state. I was always busy, day and night, to make sure Rome kept flourishing and growing. I hardly even had a personal life. I fought wars throughout the provinces, all for a single goal: to deliver peace. I had so many responsibilities and I took them more seriously than I ever had back in Greece. Rome made me different, calmer, gave me morals. I cared.

'I hardly ever concealed myself as a mortal. I didn't see a reason to. Everywhere I went people would adore me, and I loved it. It gave me confidence after centuries of feeling worthless. Doesn't mean that I became a part of society - I never had time to. It was only when the Pax Romana started, a couple of decades before Jesus Christ was born, that I even got enough sleep at night.'

'What's the Pax Romana again?' I said, quietly. I had taken a course on ancient history in high school, but that was so long ago that I had forgotten most of it. It took me effort to follow what Ares was saying, but I didn't want to interrupt him. This seemed to be an important part of the story, though.

'Oh, that's…It's literally Roman peace. There weren't really any big wars during two hundred years, but the Empire kept expanding. Of course, I still had enough to do outside the Empire to keep myself busy…but the Pax did give me some rest.' He chuckled softly. It took me a few seconds to grasp the irony of what he said.

'I finally had the time to attend the festivities in March, my own festivals. I hadn't even gone there the year Julius Caesar was murdered. It was in 176, or the Year of the Consulship of Proculus and Aper as we said then, that I met Valeria. I was at the Forum, on the Ides of March, looking over the military parade. Valeria was in the crowd with her sons and daughter. I saw her, and I noticed she was exceptionally beautiful, but she didn't mean more than that to me that day. It was two days later, at the Agonalia, another festival day, that I actually met her. She was again with her children, a few streets away from the Forum. I was just returning to my temple. I saw her and I felt a sudden twist in my chest, as if there was something wrong with my heart, and I had no idea why. It felt a lot like when I'd met Elene, but I thought that was impossible. I thought I could never feel about someone the way I had about Elene. Of course, I didn't love Valeria then. There was just this bizarre attraction that I had no other explanation for than that Eros had done something to me. I still don't know if that is true. The attraction was one-sided. She was honored to meet me, she welcomed me into her life, she spent more time with me than would be appropriate for a married woman. She was friendly, she was selfless. She took her duties as a wife and mother seriously, she was amazing at managing her household. I fell in love. Every free minute that I had I spent with her. But she didn't want me. She loved her husband, a senator, very much. She didn't want to destroy her marriage with him and lose her children. She also knew about my female conquests - they weren't exactly a secret in Rome. Most of all, though, she simply didn't want _me_. I didn't understand. No one in Rome had ever rejected me. I could get any woman in all of the Empire just because I was Mars, but the only one I _couldn't_ get was the one I wanted the most. I tried and I tried; I even tried to have Eros help me, but he refused. Said he had better things to do. Valeria's husband knew, of course, but he had no idea what to do. How do you stop a god from getting what he wants?

'I did something reckless then. I didn't see why she didn't want me. I thought it was only because of her husband. So I had a simple solution: get her husband out of the way. I sent him to Germania, where the Emperor was fighting the Germanic tribes. I was sure it would keep him away long enough for me to have Valeria all to myself. It was useless: she knew it was me, no one else would have sent such a high-ranking man to fight as a simple soldier. She knew he was going to die there. She never hated me, but she hated what I did. She distanced herself from me. I didn't want to give up, but she wasn't happy. All I wanted was to see her happy. So I went to Germania. I stayed for a few months. I helped the Emperor and his son win battles. I made them return home victoriously, Valeria's husband with them. I didn't go back to Rome to see their reunion. It hurt too much.

'I ended the Pax Romana a few years later. I needed to get my mind off of Valeria, I needed distraction. My family tried to stop me, but by the time Commodus was Emperor there was nothing they could do. It was the biggest mistake of my life: it was the beginning of Rome's decline. The Empire shrunk, economics were bad, there were plagues and civil war. In the meantime, the Christian church was gaining believers.' I bit my lower lip. The direct parallel between the events then and what was happening now was undeniable. He was quiet for a few seconds. From the way he looked at me, I knew that he saw what I was thinking.

'It was different, though. This time it wasn't the gods that caused this. Believe me, I tried everything to save Rome once I realized my mistake. It was to no avail. By the end of the third century, the Empire was practically split in two. Soon, Christianity became the official state religion, and Rome was nothing - eventually foreign tribes plundered it. All of its glory was gone. We had lost almost all of our believers. It led to huge conflicts in the family. Most of us wanted to stay and save what was left. I tried desperately to convince all who were against that not to stand down, but in the end they all did. I was the only one who didn't go back to Olympus. I was the only one who was strong enough to see the Western Empire fall. I was the captain going down with his ship. I've never forgiven my family that - if they'd stayed, we might have been able to get our power back before ever really losing it. Instead, we've been stuck on our mountain for over fifteen hundred years, ruling the world while no one even knows it.

'Valeria's rejection had led me to destroy the greatest empire the world has ever seen. I didn't realize it then, but I know now that she was the one that set everything in motion - no, it wasn't her exactly, it was what she did. I don't blame her, I should not have been so reckless, but she was the catalyst.

'Once I was alone, without believers, I was reduced to nothing. I didn't become weaker, not physically, but it didn't do much for my mental condition. The wars that were erupting all over Europe gave me support. King Arthur brought some entertainment. He wasn't as amazing as the legends tell you, though…but I could be biased, seeing as he was a Christian.'

I gasped. 'You knew King Arthur?'

He shrugged, lightly chuckling. 'Name any famous person from history and I've probably known them. The military ones, at least.'

I smiled, but didn't ask him any names. I probably couldn't come up with anyone he _hadn't_ known. I really just wanted to know what he did after the gods lost their power.

'Should I continue?' I nodded. I'd been listening for a long time, but his story was captivating.

'I roamed through Europe for a few centuries, never settling. I had enough to do, enough to keep me busy and distracted, but it was as if I had lost my appetite for war. The guilt… It overshadowed everything. Everywhere I went was a reminder of the Empire that had once ruled there.

'So I went further North. I went to live and plunder with the Vikings. This was the first time that I really gave myself a human identity and became one of them. I hardly ever had contact with my family - most of them didn't feel comfortable in the North, with the barbarians. But they were my home, they reminded me of Thrace, once again. As Erik Gunvaldsson I helped them with their raids and their settlements. We got so far, we got all the way to Baghdad and to Vinland - that's Newfoundland now. I had them conquer Normandy, and England from there. But I got bored, and even Scandinavia had at that point been converted to Christianity. By then I knew we would not have believers any time soon. I left the Vikings before the Viking Age really even ended.

'After that, I got back to being no one. I went to China. India. South America. The Sahara. I never stayed anywhere for longer than a few months. The Hundred Years' War brought me back to Europe in the fourteenth century.' He stared at the wall behind me, smiling. 'Ah, Jeanne d'Arc… She was amazing. I didn't like her methods of getting attention very much, but the girl knew how to lead an army.

'I found out that in Tuscany, humanists were studying classical culture. It gave me hope. I decided to settle in Florence - to this point the most beautiful place I have ever lived in. It was the first time that I went back to Italy, and it was the beginning of a new life.'


	34. The Monologue: Elisabetta

_Hi guys! I'm sorry for not updating for a little while, but I had a bit of a writer's block... And ever since my studies have started again, I've been incredibly busy. But I got around to writing a chapter this weekend :) I hope you like the chapter - my writer's block is still not entirely gone, so all I can say is I did my best. Please review and please, please, please don't hesitate to criticize me - I love receiving compliments from you guys and reading what you like about the chapter (really, I love you all for it!), and I'll never disregard any reviews, but I'm especially interested in what I can do to improve my writing. Thanks so much for reading!_

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><p>'I bought a house in Florence. A palazzo. The one you saw, earlier. Rome was in ruins. I went back a few times - but there was nothing there for me anymore. It only hurt. Fiorenza was…flourishing. By the time the fifteenth century started it was one of the wealthiest cities in Europe. I befriended Cosimo de' Medici, who practically ruled over Fiorenza - Florence, sorry - then. I was instantly accepted into Florentine high society. I was rich, I had influence, I had a better life than I'd had in over twelve hundred years. I didn't want it to end, but I knew it was inevitable - I couldn't stay in one place for too long without people realizing my body wasn't aging. I, how should I say this… I'm sure you've heard of the Carrara dynasty.'<p>

I frowned. Of course, that name rang a bell. 'Yeah, from the dinner party. And in the hospital, with Apollo.'

A corner of Ares's lips moved up in a weak smile. 'I mean in history books.'

We were both quiet as I racked my brain for Italian Renaissance dynasties. Of course… The Carraras had been one of the most powerful families of Florence, nearly as important as the Medici. The end of the Medici reign had been the end of the Carraras' wealth and power - although I knew that there were still living descendants. If Ares was the dynasty's founder, they were all gods for a small part. I wondered if they even knew about their divine heritage.

I nodded. 'Right. I know. Big family, lots of power back then.'

'It wasn't really that big in the beginning.' He cleared his throat. 'Because according to the books, Aurelio, the founder, only had one son, Raniero, whose only son was named Gualtiero. I was all of them.'

My mouth fell open. I quickly closed it once he started grinning at my expression. I shook my head in disbelief. 'You posed as _an entire family_?'

He leaned back, his hands pressing down behind him into the blanket. I stared as his biceps stretched under his skin. 'It was easy. I'd been impersonating mortals my whole life, I'd been pretending to be one for more than half a millennium. It was just another step to be multiple mortals at once. The first time, when I would gradually age myself as Aurelio and simultaneously be a young kid, was strange. It was also impractical never being able to have my supposed son in the same room as myself. My wife didn't even know. I had given her a memory of giving birth to Raniero, of his entire infancy. I had made her believe Aurelio was always gone, working or doing other duties, when Raniero was at home, so she wouldn't question the fact that the family was never together.'

'Wait.' I raised my hand. He straightened his back again. His hands fell back into his lap. 'Your wife. Is this, what was her name, Elisabetta?'

He shook his head. 'This is all before I met Elisabetta.' The way he said her name, confidently but slowly and after a tiny pause, almost made me cringe. The way he said all of their names - Elene, Valeria, Elisabetta - was so full of nostalgia. He was still stoic telling the story, but I could only imagine how he would tell me the parts about the next girls. I could see that as the story progressed he was ever so slightly getting more emotional about it. That wasn't the only thing that bothered me, though; the fact alone that he had deceived his wife so enormously was enough for me to wonder how much he had lied about to me. It made me question if there'd been any honesty in our…could I even call the three weeks that we'd dated a relationship?

He looked down, fidgeting with the strap of his sandal. 'Anyway,' he said, his voice creaky, but he quickly recovered his composure, 'I got rid of my life as Aurelio by the time I was old enough as Raniero. My wife - well, by then she thought she was my mother, of course - was so broken over the loss of her husband, that she hardly even came out of the palazzo anymore. I continued my life the way I had lived it, taking over the political work I'd already had as Aurelio, attending the same banquets and parties. I was so submerged in that life I almost forgot myself, forgot about my duties. I kept myself busy by collecting art - it was fashionable to have a collection. I was always desperately trying to fit in, to make sure I could continue living better than I'd had in so long. I mean, I could have gone back to Olympus and lived with my family, ruling from here and eating ambrosia all the time, but I still hadn't forgiven them and couldn't stand being around them for longer than a few hours. They nagged me enough to get me back in the war game from time to time, though. My absences from Florence weren't difficult to explain, everyone I knew was always traveling.

'I kept it up for a couple of generations. It was getting boring. By the time America had been…discovered,' he said, laughing curtly, 'by Columbus, I was a condottiero - a mercenary soldier leader - in a few of the Italian Wars. I needed that, I had started to hate my peaceful life in Florence. I needed to let my urges out, relieve the tension, without having to be anonymous, a disguised god in someone else's war. I wanted to be myself in my mortal life. The condottieri gave me that.

'During my absence from Florence, Tuscany had become a grand-duchy. The Medici were now the official rulers and just because I was a Carrara, a family that they had been friends with for generations, I was elevated into nobility. Without even knowing it, all of a sudden I was Celeste Adriano Carrara De Santis, Conte di Fauglia.

'Upon my return to the city a feast was held in my honor. I knew most of the guests, but not the newest addition to high-class Florence: Samuele Morandi, Duca di Montecatini, and his daughter Elisabetta. They belonged to a distant branch of the Medici, but hadn't been to the city for years. I didn't meet Samuele Morandi until the end of the night. I liked him from the moment we struck up conversation - but he couldn't keep my attention for long, because behind him was a beautiful girl. From the moment I saw her I stopped hearing Samuele's voice. Her eyes wouldn't meet my gaze, she was raised like that - only when Samuele formally introduced us did she look up, and I saw the most sincere eyes. She was so… She was so full of life, and she made me feel alive with her. It took me so much effort to pull my stare away from her face and kiss her hand like I was supposed to.

'Samuele had heard I was all alone, that my supposed father had died, that I had lost my mother, that I had no siblings. He mentioned the Carrara curse, by then famous, of all the Carrara wives losing their husbands early. Elisabetta laughed, said she would still be interested. She surprised me. She'd seemed shy at first, the typical duke's daughter conforming to etiquette, but there she was, the glowing girl who would set my feelings ablaze. I had never met a girl like her.'

He closed his eyes and smiled. A few seconds long he was quiet. Was he reliving that night in his mind? Then, without losing his smile, he opened his eyes again. 'The night was over before I could make an arrangement to see her again, but with the Granduca's help I found out where they were living. I met with her father to ask for his blessing in my courting her. Of course, he instantly granted me that - I wouldn't take no for an answer, although I think that even without my control over his decision he would have agreed. From that moment on I saw Elisabetta almost every other day. She had felt that same pull between us, that undeniable…what's the right word…magnetism.

'A long courtship wasn't acceptable then - so we got married after a few months. Where the Wars had saved me from losing who I was, she gave meaning to my human life. The Wars had satiated a hunger for battle that I always continuously felt, Elisabetta made me forget the hunger altogether.

'We were together for a long time. She gave me children, two sons and a daughter. My life felt complete. I knew that if I had the choice I would give up immortality and spend the rest of my short life with my family - my mortal family - because they were all that I needed. The Fates had other plans.' He turned his face away from me. His jaw tensed, he took a few deep breaths. When he faced me again, his expression was as neutral as it could be, but his voice was bitter.

'The day Elisabetta died…' His throat contracted as he swallowed. 'When I came home late from work at the Uffizi, I could smell it the second I stepped foot into the house. That smell of raw _death_ and the _flowers_…' A jerk of his hands caught my attention and I saw his white knuckles, his tight fists.

'Beside our bed was a bunch of oleander flowers. One was in her hand. Hermes was already there to take her soul to Hades. He didn't even need to tell me that Aphrodite had paid Elisabetta a visit. I…I had no idea what to do. She was the star around which my life revolved. She - I - I couldn't leave our children, so I had to stay in Florence after her entombment. Once I was sure our children didn't need me to care for them anymore, I faked my own death. Human life wasn't worth living anymore, now that the light had faded. I just needed to get away from Florence. I needed to be myself again, to be Ares again, and numb the pain. With death came freedom. I turned my back on Italy, and for centuries, fought my way through grief.'


	35. Chapter 35

_So it took me a month to upload again... Sorry about that! Here's a little interlude between all the heavy monologues. I hope you like it; please review!_

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><p>I stared at the knife in the wall. I could feel Ares' gaze, but refused to meet his eyes. I took a deep breath to gather my courage to speak again.<p>

'Did she know?'

'Who I am?'

'Yeah. And your children, did they know?' I was still stubbornly looking away from him.

His voice was hoarse when he answered. 'They didn't. Not even Elisabetta knew. I wanted to give them an ordinary life, keep them safe. From me, from my family. Ever since she died I've had no idea how to keep anyone safe from my family. After I….died…my children had long, good lives, so taking myself from their lives was the only solution.' Of course, I realized how little effort he had made to keep me safe. How even here on Olympus, so close to one another, he hadn't even protected me against his own brother until it was too late.

I finally looked at him. He instantly averted his eyes, but I still caught the sadness in them.

I swallowed. I could feel my eyes burning - the tears were only seconds away from breaking through. 'I… I've got to go to the bathroom. Can we take a break?' I asked softly.

Ares nodded and I pushed myself up from the bed. I had sat in the same position for so long that my legs were wobbly and I could hardly walk, but I managed to reach the bathroom without any visible effort. Once I'd quietly locked the door I sat down next to the bathtub.

I wouldn't cry. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to be weak enough to be hurt by Ares and his tragic love stories.

I couldn't help it. A tear fell down my cheek, immediately followed by a hundred more, and a sob escaped from my throat.

'Emma? Are you okay?' His voice was so close, right on the other side of the door. I shook my head, but didn't say a word. My throat suddenly felt dry and I swallowed. It didn't help.

He remained silent for a few seconds. Then, I heard his feet move away. I rested my head against the bath tub and clutched my knees.

Ares had given Elisabetta more than he had ever given me. He had given her the chance at a normal life. And she had given him so much more than I ever could - she had given _him_ a normal, human life. As far as I knew, she had made him who he was now.

My feet started to slip away on the marble floor. I released my knees and studied my toes. I hadn't even realized that I had been picking at my toenails while Ares was telling his stories, but they were all chipped and bloody. I sighed.

_If I had the choice I would give up immortality and spend the rest of my short life with my family, because they were all that I needed._

They were worth so much to him. They still were. The sadness in his voice hadn't been hard to miss. Shit, he would even have left his own family and _everything he was _just to be with this new family. He wouldn't do that for me. He wasn't selfless with me the way he was when he killed his mortal identity just so his children could live. And it hurt. so. much.

In my mind I slapped myself. I had no reason to be thinking these thoughts. I _wasn't_ worth much to him and I just had to realize it - I barely even knew him. I _couldn't_ be worth much. I hadn't given him a new life, I hadn't given him an escape from his family, from himself. The only escape that I was, was from boredom and routine. I was trivial.

I wiped the tears from my cheek and clenched my teeth. My breathing slowly became regular again. What had happened to remaining strong? I'd taught myself not to cry, dammit! But for some reason, all Ares ever did was get me to release all those saved-up tears. Piece by piece he broke the wall I had so carefully built up. However hard I had fought him, I couldn't deny that he had gotten under my skin.

I inhaled deeply and stood up. I would have to get myself together before going back in there. I could _not_ let him see that I'd been crying. He would just… I had no idea what he would do. There had barely been any empathy from his side while he was talking about all those other girls. I couldn't really expect any now, could I?

But on the other hand, he did care. He'd shown that to me. He'd told me that I was one of the six girls that made him feel. That had to count for something, right?

I stared at my bruised self in the mirror. So much had happened since I had first met…Noah. I couldn't just give up and let my feelings take over, simply because he had exes that made me feel like nothing. I needed to shield myself against anything the following stories would make me feel. They couldn't really be worse than Elisabetta's, anyway. I needed to be optimistic.

'He fought a war for you,' I whispered to my reflection. Fine, maybe he hadn't fought a war _for_ me. But he had gone into battle _because of_ me. It was good enough for me to bury my feelings of hurt far away, deep into my heart.

I splashed some cold water into my face to get rid of the redness in my eyes. It didn't work. I sighed. I'd just have to deal with that and with Ares' reaction. I repeated my mantra to myself once and went back into the room.

He was in his chair again with his feet on my bed. When I got out of the bathroom, he sprang up from the chair and closed the distance between us. 'Emma.'

I nodded without looking at him and brushed past him to sit on my bed. He turned, but didn't follow me. 'I'm not sure if I should continue.'

I shrugged. 'Why wouldn't you?'

He bit his lip, pausing for a second before sitting down again. 'Because you're clearly having a hard time hearing this.'

A new tear was forming in my eye. I blinked it away. 'I'm fine. Go on.'

He gave me a puzzled look. 'Are you sure? Because I could just leave you alone and you could…sleep…'

With a deep breath I felt strong enough again. 'I'm _fine_. Where were we? Claudette?'

'Claudine.'

I nodded. 'Well, what about her?'


	36. The Monologue: Claudine

_Hi guys! Sorry for taking sooo long updating. I hope that midterms and papers are a good enough excuse :)  
><em>_This chapter was particularly hard to write because a) I hardly even knew where I wanted to go with Claudine and b) because I don't know a lot about life during the French Revolution. Some things may be slightly historically inaccurate but I hope you don't notice/mind. :) Another side note: in a previous chapter I described Claudine as having lived in Rouen, but in the end I preferred to have her live in Paris, since I actually know Paris (as opposed to Rouen), because it seems more fitting to the story, and because of that little twist at the end of the chapter.  
><em>_I hope that you enjoy this one, please review! :)_

_Speaking of reviews: one anonymous reviewer (that's you, 19) asked me if I'm going to include Phobos and Deimos in the story. I think that's an awesome idea and if I manage to find a good way to write them into the story (and have them interact with Emma etc.), I will! Thanks so much for the suggestion, and everyone, thanks for the reviews :)_

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><p>We were both quiet for a long time. I couldn't wait for him to start talking. The longer I sat there in that relative silence, the more tears I could feel making their way to my eyes.<p>

Without announcing the beginning of yet another new story with a deep breath or something other, Ares started talking again. He was talking fast now, as if he just wanted to get this over with.

'I left during the…I think it was the 1610s. No, earlier. I went to the New World, saw Jamestown being founded. I stayed for a while. There was enough chaos for me to do whatever I wanted, but stay invisible. With the Thirty Years' War, though, I had a reason to go back to Europe, to come out of hiding… Well, I didn't really go back to Europe permanently. I moved around the world like the Europeans did, discovering and conquering a world that wasn't theirs to take. War, fighting, was all that was on my mind for almost two centuries. Shutting everything else out was the only way I could cope with the pain of losing El- losing her. So I moved on from her and managed to keep her and my kids out of my mind for most of the time. I kept the feelings at bay. But every once in a while something would remind me of her, and my defenses crumbled, and I couldn't help but remember everything that she had meant to me - I couldn't help feeling so guilty over not protecting her properly, effectively causing her death. I couldn't sleep because every dream I had was about her. Each time that happened I would push it farther away, fought it harder, detach myself from my emotions more than ever. It was a downward spiral.

'When I found myself in Paris right before the start of the French Revolution, there was no feeling left in me. I was back to who I was before I met Valeria - no, before I met Elene. But the world had changed and I wasn't a god, not in the eyes of the people that I wanted so badly to adore me. So I mostly kept to myself, watching from the sidelines as the restlessness in France grew.

'I won't bore you with the political and economic stuff… Athena and Hermes could do a much better job at explaining all that, anyway.' One of the corners of his lips moved up in a slight smile. 'I'll tell you what really happened.

'The American Revolution inspired the poor people in Europe; they figured if the Americans could beat back Britain, then so could they. Especially in France the poor were getting more and more frustrated with the inequality. So after a whole lot of politics, which I'm sure you've learned about in European History class, the Bastille prison was raided, and the riots practically spread through the country.

'Before that happened, though, I'd gotten to know the rioters from the inside. I hadn't posed as an aristocrat since I'd left Florence - I wanted to lay low - and no one knew me. I could observe without anyone singling me out. I stayed among the rebels all through the revolution, befriending some of them, fighting alongside them in the battles.' He looked pensive for a split second. 'Well, I really only fought in the battle at Valmy...' For some reason, the way he said it made it seem to be an evidently important part of the story. I had no idea what it meant. I looked down at my feet and picked away a little bit of dried blood off of my big toe.

'So, anyway, the Republic was being formed and all, but I didn't actually witness that first hand. I didn't attend the assemblies. I was with the soldiers in the countryside, in other cities, finally back in Paris. At the very end of the eighteenth century the rich again were gaining power, but the soldiers didn't care. Not the ones I knew, anyway. We -' He had been looking right past my face, out the window again, but he now shot me a short look. Almost as if to check on me, or on whether I was still keeping it together. Or something. 'We raided mansions, townhouses, we took everything. We kidnapped rich men's wives, sisters, daughters. One of them was Claudine Richelieu.'

Our eyes met. Finally…he was getting to the point of the story. That took him long enough. I didn't know what to think of what he'd just told me, about the raidings and the kidnappings. Should I be shocked?

I broke the intense eye contact to once again study my toes. I sighed and pulled the blanket over my legs. At least this story wasn't as full of emotion as the last one. Really, all the talking about how he was so _human_ with Elisabetta was more unsettling than this. Was that weird of me?

'Claudine was a member of one of the formerly most important families in Paris - plus, she was beautiful. She'd really been a prize for us to capture. So, at the end of the day, when we divided the booty, I chose her for myself. She was scared at first, as she had every right to be. I… Okay, what basically happened is that I used her for sex for a few weeks. Let's just put that out there.' There was the cautious look again. He looked like he felt guilty, though I wasn't sure if I could expect that from him.

'And she hated it, for a while. But for some reason - I still don't know what - she seemed to start liking it. She'd wait for me to get home, as much as I could call that place a home, she'd start asking me for more. It was as if we were forming a relationship, even though I had done everything possible to make her hate me.'

'What, like Stockholm syndrome?' I didn't mean for that to come out so cynically. I just couldn't help but compare it with that story I'd once read about, in which hostages had started to like and defend their kidnappers.

Ares looked at me quizzically. 'What? No. I mean… No. It wasn't the same…' I could see his doubt, though. He cleared his throat. 'So. What was I saying… Oh. Yeah.

'We, uh… With this whole…mutual understanding she became a bit of a…safe haven.' He was struggling to find his words. I had knocked him off his balance with my accusation. I couldn't help but feel a little powerful. He took a few seconds to recollect his thoughts.

'Our relationship wasn't based on love. There wasn't any emotion in it, just physicality. With her, I could let the stress slip away for a bit, I could be myself again, I could feel things but distract myself from Elisabetta. I'd used plenty of women before Claudine, but she was the first one that appreciated me for it. She didn't even escape when I gave her every opportunity for it.

'With the stress slipping away, so did my cover. She was smart, it didn't take her long to put the pieces together. I was careless, too, about hiding my weapons, about communicating with my family. She said she was shocked, that she'd never expected it - how could anyone? But she'd also known that I wasn't Commandant Lesauvage, that I wasn't just a regular soldier. And after that…it got crazy.

'Claudine didn't just accept who I was. She relished in it. Her lust increased and intensified and she wanted all of me, everywhere, all the time. She was addicted. She went overboard and it should have bothered me, but I bathed in it. No mortal had so fully known who I was since the fall of the Roman Empire and certainly no mortal had accepted me at all for me - I ate it up. I could leave her, leave France altogether, and start yet another life somewhere else. But I stayed with her because she gave me self esteem and I gulped down every bit of that. She made me accept myself, even if it was more about what I was than who I was.

'But she went insane. The desire, the _craving _for more was all that drove her by then and she couldn't think for herself. She'd get depressed when I wouldn't give her what she wanted and she'd hide in dark corners in our little house when I was away, drinking anything she could find. She had literal itches, she was often naked and full of scratches when I came home. The only way I could comfort her was by giving in to her hunger. I didn't even want to anymore, though. She exhausted me. She yelled at me whenever I refused. She threatened to kill herself. And one day, she did.'

His voice was monotonous; matter-of-fact. Detached. I wondered whether Claudine had really meant much to him, or if the only thing that mattered was her acceptance. If he'd really been relieved when she'd ended her life. 'And then?' I asked in a tiny voice.

'Then _of course_ the first person I saw was Aphrodite, who'd set it all up. Makes sense, right? Driving someone to suicide with her own tools. She wasn't just jealous, she felt betrayed. Though Paris wasn't as much the city of love as it is supposed to be now, it had been her city since its founding, you know, like Athens is Athena's, and she couldn't handle my disrespect for love in her own city.' He shrugged. 'I guess I had it coming.'

For the first time, I felt a hint of sympathy towards Aphrodite. If this was really the way it had happened (though I didn't think Ares would bend the truth in her favor), then she had every right to act the way she did. This side of him was not one that I would like to know.

He sighed and I raised an eyebrow. 'So that's Claudine,' he concluded.

I nodded as he cleared his throat again. He didn't meet my glance.

'And that brings us to…' He looked down at his hands.

I finished the sentence for him. 'Virginia.'

He continued speaking without looking up. 'I guess we can just skip that story, right? You know what happened, I told you in the hospital. No need to go over that again…' He silenced.

I frowned. 'Don't back out now, Ares. You said you'd tell me everything.'

He shook his head. 'But I already told you that she- she died in the fire. In the…war. What more could you possibly want to know?'

I tilted my head to the side. This was it. It wasn't just that he didn't feel the need to repeat the story - even if he hadn't told me much. It was that he was purposefully avoiding telling me.

'I can handle it.' Could I? 'I want to know.'

He was quiet for a little while. Hesitant. He looked up. 'Fine, but…I…Would you excuse me for a moment?'

Before I'd even finished my nod, he was out of the room. I sighed. Alone with my thoughts, I began to prepare myself. Whatever came next had to be bad.


	37. The Monologue: Virginia

_So I know that I've been apologizing for not updating in the past few chapters, and I'm doing it again this time: I'm sorry! I was having final exams, and it's been my toughest semester yet so I really had no time whatsoever to write. Also, this was another really difficult chapter to write because Virginia's pretty...important, and I didn't do _that_ much research on life during WW2. But since I got some inspiration again and I have six weeks of winter break ahead of me, I think there'll be plenty of updates coming!_

_Anyway, this is the very last monologue chapter for now (for those that are getting bored of them), and I hope it's a good way to get back to the real story :) Please review!_

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><p>Ares was gone for a good half hour. When he came back, an uncapped crystal bottle was in his hand, half-filled with some amber liquid. His lips were wet. <em>Really? <em>I frowned. Was he _really_ going to tell me about Virginia like this?

'Are you sure that is a good –'

A wave of his hand cut my sentence short. 'I'm not drunk. That takes more than a little bit of whisky.'

I shrugged and folded my legs, leaning back against the headrest. 'If you say so.'

He sat down, took a large swig from the crystal bottle and stared at the wall as he spoke.

'I knew Virginia for a year and seventy-three days.'

Okay. That was specific.

He swallowed another sip of whisky before he continued. 'It was October 16th of 1939, and the Second World War had just begun. The sun was setting and without any lights, the city was getting dark. I was out in the East End and the streets were wet, it had been raining for weeks. I'd only been in London for a little while, after my father had sent me away from Germany. He wanted to solve the war with Athena's help, without me interfering…' His voice was sour, and he hadn't once averted his gaze from the wall.

'I was walking in the streets and around me all I saw was misery. I didn't care. I was…morose. I knew one of the biggest wars of my life was about to erupt and I was banned from it before it had even properly started. So I stole a bottle of liquor – don't look at me like that, things were different – and sheltered myself from the weather in a dark portico. It didn't take long before I fell asleep.

'When I woke up it was light out, but still raining. A rag was spread over my legs and I felt around for my bottle, but couldn't find it – until a thin shadow leaned into the light. "Looking for this?" she asked me. Her hair was so dirty you could hardly see that it was blond and her voice was weak, but somehow there was still a sparkle in her eyes.' For a split second his glance shot towards me, but it was back to the wall immediately. He swallowed.

'We shared what was left in the bottle and she asked me what a guy like me was doing in an East End portico. I said I'd been hiding out, afraid of being drafted for the army. She looked down then, biting her lip, and told me her brother had been drafted and that he was all that she'd had since both her parents had died.

'So then I… For some reason I suddenly felt an urge, this _need_ to protect her.' He looked down. I could hardly even hear what he mumbled next. 'I don't know why… She was so - so underfed, so sick, she was sure to die in a matter of days. But I couldn't just leave her.' He shifted his weight in his chair and looked up again, but he was still avoiding my eyes. 'So I got her a loaf of bread, and in the days that followed I didn't so much stay with her, but I kept an eye on her. I did whatever I could to keep her alive.

'But she was ill and it was pretty obvious that she…wouldn't make it. I managed to convince her to come with me to what I said was my parents' house, to get a good night's sleep, to stay until she was healthy. She ended up staying in bed for almost three months. She was alone and she needed someone strong to be there for her, someone who wasn't the god of war. I wasn't even _allowed_ to be the god of war. I was denied myself and it frustrated me so much – without me the war was a boring one, it was phony. Not being able to do anything ate at me, but taking care of Virginia became my therapy.' He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before taking another sip of his whisky. Then for the first time since he'd started talking about Virginia, he looked me in the eye. He lifted the bottle. 'Hey, do you want some?'

I shook my head. 'I'm good… I think.' I bit my lower lip. To be honest, I'd expected this part of the story to be worse, and Ares to be more emotional. So far, it wasn't that bad. Sure, it was sad – and since I knew how it ended, I knew it was going to be sadder – and I, admittedly, _hated_ to hear about yet another way a girl had meant so much to him (I couldn't help but wonder again how on Earth I could mean something to him the way his past loves had), but I had expected some shatteringly tragic romantic love story. I had expected him to struggle more, what with his bottle of whisky.

I slid my legs under the soft white blanket. 'So why was she so special to you?' I mentally praised myself for sounding so composed.

He smiled weakly. For a few seconds he kept quiet. 'I guess it was her optimism.' He sighed and took another large swig from the bottle. It was almost empty now. 'She was alone, she was sick, she was dying and still she managed to always keep that sparkle in her eyes.' I saw his throat contract ever so slightly. He let his hands fall into his lap, looking down on them as he traced patterns on the crystal bottle with his thumbnail. The muscles in his face tightened. 'She was inspiring in that respect. She gave me hope… She opened me but with that came all the hurt. I was full of broken thoughts that I thought couldn't be fixed. She taught me that there was life after Elisabetta – not that she knew Elisabetta had died almost three hundred years before, of course.' He looked up at the ceiling, inhaled deeply again. He blinked. 'I'm just going to skip the part where she – where she _died_, okay?'

I frowned. That had escalated quickly… I didn't know what to think of this. On the one hand, Virginia didn't sound like she was _that_ much more special than Elisabetta. I'd shielded myself against the feelings Elisabetta's story had given me. That wall could surely handle another attack from Virginia, right? On the other hand, Virginia was so much more recent. It seemed so much more vivid. I grimaced, but tried to hide it behind a faked rub of my cheek. He didn't even notice; he was emptying the bottle, clutching it tight in his hand. I waited until he was done, wiping a drop of whisky from his cheek, neatly brushing a tear from his eye at the same time. The almighty Ares, crying. It was an unsettling sight.

'I need to know,' I said, speaking slowly to remain calm, and added, 'You've got to let me in.' I wasn't sure if he'd really heard it, but he nodded.

'You're right…you're right. I just, it's…' He promptly stood up and paced to the window. With his arms crossed, the bottle dangling from his right hand, he leaned against the frame. I couldn't see his face. 'The Germans had been bombing London for fifty-seven nights in a row. The city was burning. We were hiding out in a cellar but I didn't take it too seriously – I figured nothing would happen to us, to her, so long as I was protecting her. She was scared, she was so scared… I kept reassuring her that things would be okay, that we'd survived so much already, that we would get through this. That was the moment a bomb hit the building next to ours.' He uncrossed his arms and was about to put the bottle to his mouth, when he realized it was empty. He gripped it tight. For support, maybe?

'So it didn't take long for the fire to reach us, and I tried so hard to shield her from it, I did everything in my power to protect her. In the last seconds of her life she found out who I was. She died in a shock.' His fingers pressed into the bottle with so much force now that it broke. He only stared at his bleeding hand and the shards of crystal that fell to the floor. 'I'd never been burned before.'

He kept quiet for a long minute. I fumbled with the blanket. The silence was distressing. I didn't know what to do. 'So, uh, and then?' I asked clumsily.

His head jerked in my direction. 'And then _what_?' His voice broke.

I pulled the blanket up to my shoulders, as if it was some kind of protection, some kind of barrier I could pull up against anything he would say that could hurt me. 'Well, I mean, what happened next…'

He shrugged. 'I lost myself.' His casual tone didn't convince me. I stood up from the bed and walked towards him, carefully avoiding the shards of crystal. I lifted my hand, but dropped it almost immediately. He averted his glance. 'Tell me,' I said.

He shook his head. 'I can't, Emma.' He pressed his eyes shut for a second. 'I can't do this.'

I looked away from his face. I never should have asked him to do this – it only made me realize how for every thing that he told me, there were a thousand things about which he wouldn't open up.

He drew in a big gulp of air, and then the words came streaming out. 'I've never told anyone this much about her and it just… Talking about her hurts so much, and I've tried so many times to convince myself that I had fallen out of love with her, but-'

'Wait, what?' The words slapped me in the face. Was he really saying he still loved her more than anything? Was I just a distraction to help him forget about her?

He ignored my confusion, or maybe he simply didn't notice while he was…rambling. 'And the thing is, Emma, you remind me of her. You remind me so much of her that for the first time in seventy years I let myself open up to anyone, hoping that maybe I can feel the same as I did then, that I can be more than a shell of who I was.'

I couldn't process what he said. I couldn't even begin to understand what he was trying to tell me. I could only handle one thing at a time right now, and one thing in particular.

'What do you mean, I remind you of her?' My voice sounded way too hysterical for my liking.

Not his. He had suddenly calmed down enough, after getting all of this out, to answer my question. 'You look like her. Not too much, but you do. I thought you were her the first time I saw you. That maybe Hades had finally decided to give her back to me.'

I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could say. I could only stand there, completely stunned and speechless, and wonder what I was supposed to think. Every feeling that I'd had in the past hours was coursing through me. I looked down and saw my right hand trembling. Soon my body was shaking all over.

'Emma…'

I buried my face in my hands. Oh my god. Oh my _god_.

He reached out his hand. I slapped it away. 'Leave me alone.'

'But Emma…' He sounded insecure.

'I said, leave me _alone_,' I spit out through my fingers.

'Are you – are you sure?' He was further away from me now. I lifted my head slightly. He was standing in the doorway.

'_Yes_, I'm sure. Go away.'

I saw him nod once, and hid my face again before he closed the door behind him.


	38. Chapter 38

_Remember back in December, when I said I would have all the time in the world and heaps of inspiration to write? Yeah... me too. I'm so sorry for not updating! I guess I did have a bit of a writer's block, after all - and I didn't really know where exactly to go with the story.  
>I won't be updating after this chapter very soon, either; but by very soon I mean within two weeks :) because midterms are coming up, but I'm really hoping to get some writing done during spring break! Now that I finally found a way to drive the plot forward again I think I'll be more inclined to write. Really looking forward to doing the rewrite, though - I've been taking a Creative Writing class, and learning all these writing techniques have made me eager to use them for my own stories.<em>

_I hope you enjoy this chapter (but just so you know, I really had to get back into the story again, haha) - please review! :)_

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><p>Even though it was just a little past noon, the marble hall was cold. Without looking where I was going I walked and walked, kept going until I found myself in the throne room. Sunlight streamed in through the open roof, illuminating our seats in a perfect circle. I made my way around the platform to the open wall, deeply inhaling the cool air.<p>

I'd made every mistake I possibly could have in the past few hours. There was no reason I should have told her everything I'd always tried to hide from anyone. She hadn't needed to know everything. _I should have lied. I should have told her that my past doesn't matter and that she is the only one, all that I need._

I smiled grimly. I knew Emma well enough to know that she would have never fallen for that. She saw right through me.

The valley was bursting with human activity: the burning village was being rebuilt, faster than I'd thought possible for mortals, people were singing and dancing in their minuscule town square. The sea was dotted with white sails. Everything was blooming.

'Ares.' Zeus's voice pulled me from my daydream. I didn't turn to face him.

'Not now, father.' I could feel the weakness about to seep into my voice and clenched my teeth.

He refused to leave. 'Apollo filled me in on what you and Emma were doing. Are you okay?'

I lazily shook my head, my eyes closed. 'Don't pretend to care.'

Zeus laid a hand on my shoulder. I blinked before looking him in the eye.

'You did the right thing, Ares.'

I swallowed. 'You have to let her go, father.' Was I really saying that to him, or to myself? 'She can't stay here. She needs to go home.'

His glance lingered a few seconds, but he nodded then. 'It will be arranged.' His hand slid off my shoulder and I watched him walk away, back to his own rooms.

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><p>I took the long way round to exit Zeus's palace, careful to avoid any chance of running into Emma. The gardens, like the mountains, were bursting with life. I scoffed. <em>Ironic<em>. I saw Demeter kneeling in a flowerbed, worriedly watching me pass her by, but I didn't acknowledge seeing her and kept marching towards my iron palace. If there was anyone whose pity I didn't want right now…

I went straight to the bathroom to pick the remaining pieces of crystal from my right hand. The simple task consumed my mind enough to keep me calm, but I was done much too soon. I stared at my discomposed face in the mirror and splashed some water into my face before taking my armor off.

'Wine.' The idea seemed obvious. I rushed to the wine cellar and came back with as many bottles of Dionysus's wine as I could carry. Not bothering to get a glass, I sat down on the cold floor, leaning against the iron wall, and put the first bottle to my lips.

_Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat. _My black Great Dane stared me in the eyes and licked a drop of saliva from his mouth. He sniffed at the bottle.

'Hey, Ace.' I tickled him behind his ear and he laid his head on my lap. I sighed. What had I done? More importantly, how was I going to fix it? Surely this was the last straw for Emma. I would never be able to take back what I'd said and she'd probably never forgive me. I'd really ruined it this time.

_Fuck_.

I punched the floor, breaking my knuckles, scaring Ace. He stared up at me, his ears folded behind his head.

'Sorry,' I mumbled. Ace let me bury my face and my hands in his coat – I didn't care about setting my knuckles; I couldn't even feel the pain – and groaned softly. He put his paw on my leg. I inhaled the scent of his clean fur and held his body tight. If only everyone was as loyal and unconditional as Ace.

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><p>'Dad.' With a click of the switch the room was filled with light.<p>

I looked up. My daughter, Harmonia, was standing in the doorway. I smiled weakly.

'Hey, Nia. Haven't seen you in a while. How are you? And the kids?'

She shrugged. 'They're good, I'm good. But I need to talk to you.' She sat down next to me. Ace raised his head and patted away.

'Eros called me. He told me what happened. He's hurting, dad.' Our eyes met and she frowned. 'Have you been crying?'

I brought my hand to my face. 'What? No. No.'

She took my hand. 'And your hand's broken. This is worse than I thought.'

'Nia, don't worry.'

She shook her head. 'I'm going to help you, dad, whether you want it or not. I promised Eros.'

I sighed. I wouldn't be able to convince Harmonia that I could handle this myself; she'd never agree to that. And if anything, she had a calming presence. On me, on anyone. 'How?'

'I don't know,' she said, 'but we'll figure something out. What exactly did you tell her?'

'Everything.' I grimaced. 'Virginia.'

Harmonia bit her lip. 'Oh.' She kept quiet for a second, gauging my mood. 'How did she react?'

I scoffed. 'I don't know, it's not like _I_ can read minds. She was pretty upset. I guess.'

She shook her head. 'I'll never understand how it is you've lived among mortals for so long and still don't understand their feelings.' I raised an eyebrow. 'Sorry, dad,' she mumbled.

'I was a little too busy getting myself together to see how she was doing.'

'Don't ever tell _her_ that.' She smiled compassionately. 'You know what I think you should do?'

'Enlighten me,' I said, sarcasm tinting my voice.

'I think you should give her some time to process, but not enough to make her hate you. You know she will if you don't do something.' She pensively bit on her thumbnail. 'And you should really make it clear that _she_ is the one you love, not Virginia.'

I shook my head. 'I'd be lying.'

She cocked her head. 'As if that would be the first time.'

My knuckles were starting to hurt. I slowly set them, delaying the inevitable moment I'd have to give Harmonia an answer.

'I can't do that,' I said finally.

'Why not?'

'I have to remove myself from her life,' I said flatly. 'Entirely.'

'What?' Harmonia frowned. 'Are you saying you're going to have her memory removed?'

I shook my head. 'Not an option. The world has changed too much since we met.'

'So what then?' she asked incredulously. 'You're just giving up?'

My head jerked towards her. I could feel the tears burning again. _Don't. You're not fucking weak._ 'I'm not giving up, I'm backing out. She's better off without me.'

'Dad. Come on. You _never_ back out.' She took my healed hand between her slender fingers. 'This is not what is supposed to happen, you know that. The Fates have spun her thread this way and it's intertwined with yours.'

'Not anymore.' I shook my head. 'I don't care what the Fates say.' I knew the Fates had the final say, but didn't want to realize it just yet. They would just have to let me make my own decisions.

'Dad, this isn't right…'

I stood up. Her fingers slid down from my hand, but she held her hand out for me to help her up. 'It's no use fighting a battle against myself, Nia, a battle I can't win.' She nodded in defeat. 'But I'm happy you stopped by, _bambina_. You should really visit me more often instead of always your mother.'

Harmonia smiled faintly and hugged me. 'I miss you, dad.'

We stayed like that for a little while; then she detached herself from my embrace and went back to the door. Before she opened it, she spun around. 'Oh, in case you missed it… A war broke out between Brazil and Argentina. Don't kill too many people?'

A wide smile, my first real smile in a while, filled my face. 'Can't promise.'


	39. Chapter 39

_Yayyyy update time! After midterm exams I needed a few days to recharge and rest my brain but somehow I've managed to write this part in... what, an hour? I hope you enjoy it and ppppllllleeeeaaaassssseeeee review!_

_And to Rune - I definitely remember what you said, haha. I promise I'll try to find away to include them!_

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><p>My mind was blank as I stared out the window into the valley. I was lying on my stomach, hugging a soft white pillow tight as if it was all that tied me to sanity. Though the valley was ablaze with color its fires were still burning, just like London probably had that – <em>no. Shut up, go away. <em>I pushed the thought of Virginia in the fire out of my mind until it was completely empty and stared at the sea without seeing anything, without allowing anything to register and enter my thoughts. It was the only way I could postpone dealing with what I had just heard.

'You fixed him.'

That voice of thunder sounded strangely soft and tender. I twisted my torso and sat up when I saw Zeus in the doorway. I didn't know what to say.

His beard moved as a smile formed on his face. 'You managed to break him.'

Well. If that wasn't a strange choice of words. I opened my mouth to reply, but lost whatever I had planned to say. I had no idea how to speak to Zeus. What was I supposed to call him? Was I even supposed to talk to him at all?

He didn't wait for my answer, though. 'It seems my grandson knows what he's doing after all.' His brow furrowed. 'Poor kid. Can't catch a break with his father.'

'Eros?' My voice was so tiny that I wasn't sure Zeus had heard me.

'Who else?' Zeus shook his head. 'All those other sons are as worthless as Ares himself.'

I bit my lip. Any other day I would have been shocked by the ever prevalent hate Ares got. Today I couldn't help but share it, but I refused to agree with Zeus' statement.

'What's going to happen now?' I asked after a moment of hesitation.

Zeus looked behind him into the hallway as if he was expecting something, then turned his glance back to me. 'He will have to rebuild the earth. He will have to bear responsibility. That is his punishment.'

It didn't even sound so bad. Definitely much better than some of Zeus' punishments I had read about in myths. Then again, the world had pretty much been destroyed in its entirety.

I merely nodded in response.

'Ares has requested that you be brought back to New York,' Zeus said. 'Aphrodite will be here shortly.'

I hugged my pillow more tightly. Aphrodite? Wasn't I her worst enemy right now? Why did Zeus think this would be a good idea? If Ares' stories were anything to go on, Aphrodite might very well murder me on the way back home.

'Unless, of course, that is a prob- oh, there you are, Aphrodite.' Zeus took a step forward to let Aphrodite past him into the room.

'Oh, Emma, you must be _dying_ to go home,' she sang. I winced. It was as if she'd read my mind. She smiled when she saw the expression on my face. 'Don't worry, darling, you'll be back with your mother and your lovely friend Gabrielle in no time. Here, take my hand.'

I looked at her outstretched hand – her slender fingers and her perfect nails, not to mention her apple white wrist so smooth it seemed made of the same marble the palace was built of, but more perfect – but didn't move. Why should I trust her?

Her hand fell. She sat down on the bed next to me and tucked her bare feet beneath her thighs. 'We can wait for a little bit, if you want.' She looked up. 'We'll be okay here, Daddy.' Zeus nodded and left the room.

I leaned back, trying (subtly, I hoped) to put some distance between Aphrodite and myself. 'Are you…'

'Going to kill you?' She smiled sweetly. Her lips colored an even more flawless pink. 'I know what Ares told you. You have a reason to be afraid – he didn't lie to you, not about that.'

I sighed. She only made it clearer that Ares had lied to me. I didn't even know how much of what he'd ever told me was actually true.

Aphrodite took my hand and earnestly looked me in the eye. 'But I have absolutely no cause to do that to you after what he has done. You are safe.' She looked down at our hands. 'I know you think I am a bad person, a bad love goddess, for taking away his women.' _His women. _The words stung. 'But that is only his side of the story.'

'What is yours?' I finally pulled my hand away from Aphrodite's.

'Well, he sort of told you.' She shrugged. 'Jealousy with Elene, the Paris thing with Claudine. And after he'd been in Italy, with Elisabetta, for so long, we just really needed our god of war back.'

I nodded, but still didn't know what to think of all of it. I brought my thumb to my mouth and bit on my nail for a moment. 'So now what?' I asked then.

'Now I'll take you back, if you let me,' she said, offering her right hand again. 'And then I'll leave you alone – we all will.'

I allowed the smallest smile to break through after hearing that last part. 'Okay.' I took her hand and closed my eyes.

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><p>I pulled at my thin cardigan to try and shield myself from the late-August breeze. I smiled. Finally I was going back to college for my very last year, like I was supposed to last September. In the past ten months I'd been working at a small art gallery in the Lower East Side. I'd been working more hours than was legal – anything to keep my thoughts occupied – but I'd enjoyed every single one of them; okay, <em>almost<em> every single one. My love for art was one of the few things that had stayed the same in the changing world.

I paused at the corner of Columbus and West 60th. Eight months ago there'd been a church here – one that I'd never entered, but that I'd always passed on my way to school. In only a few months the entire building had been taken down and replaced by a white marble temple honoring Athena. I bit my lip. I knew why it was necessary to build these temples – pretty much all we'd had here was churches and synagogues, after all – but still I wished things would be the way they used to be, when nobody knew about the gods. Only one good thing had come out of the gods' return for me, and that was that I didn't have to keep my secret.

Two women in polished black business suits exited the temple. '…so she'll bless my project,' I heard one of them say as they powerwalked past me. I remembered the time I told Gabrielle about who Noah really was. By then she knew about the gods – everyone did. It was a little under nine months ago and she'd just moved back into our apartment. When she saw me and erupted in squeals – '_EMMA! Did you hear?! Brandon was there, he was there at the Met steps when it happened. He saw Zeus and the _lightning_. He saw Apollo raising the sun. Oh my god – can I still say that? – he even saw them just burn this guy who threw something at them!'_ – I couldn't hold it in any longer and told her everything. Up to the very last bit. I knew that she thought he was the biggest douchebag in the world (though that word didn't do him justice, at all) but didn't say it. She was that afraid of the gods and their punishments.

I averted my eyes from the temple and walked on, stopping at my favorite coffee stand to get a cup of cappuccino. I'd need it if I wanted to live through this class – I'd postponed taking a mandatory Statistics class until my very last year.

'It's been a while, Emma.'

I looked up. I hadn't even heard that voice in almost a year, but I could still recognize it easily. And those eyes. Those insanely blue eyes. I took a halting step back. 'Apo-'

He cut me off. 'Ssh. Call me Luca. I want to stay undercover right now.'

I pulled away from his blue gaze. 'What are you doing here? Aphrodite said you'd leave me alone.'

Apollo shook his head – tamed for the occasion into a brown short haircut. 'I'm not here for you, no offense.' As if that would offend me. I didn't want him to come looking for me, not now, not ever. 'I was looking for Athena,' he said, gesturing toward her temple, now a block away. 'And then on my way back I saw you so I figured I'd say hi.'

I moved away from the coffee stand. 'Why would you?'

He smiled his dazzling smile. 'Can't I say hi to a friend?'

The hot coffee burned in my throat and I almost spit it out. 'Friend? Do you nearly kill all your friends?'

He took the cup out of my hands and took a sip without asking. 'Sorry for that.' Of course, he didn't explain _why _he did it. I never would've expected him to, anyway.

'You know, I guess in a way it's thanks to you we're back,' he continued then in a much more cheerful voice. 'Even if the method of getting there wasn't so great. You guys build some ugly temples, though. Not at all like the one I had in Delphi.'

I snorted. 'Well, I'm sure you can force someone to build a prettier temple. Might need a little force, though.'

Apollo laughed. 'Good to know you can joke about that now.' _Wrong. _If he thought I'd forgiven him, he was all _wrong_.

'Where is Ares now?' I didn't dare look Apollo in the eye while I asked it. I didn't want to see Ares, I was sure about that. I just wanted to know what he was doing, and how big the chances were that I _would_ see him.

I felt his puzzled stare on me for a few seconds. '…Around. Sweden. London. Paris. He burned his house in Florence and came back to Nassau to destroy the mansion, but didn't in the end.'

One brief glance at Apollo's face was all I needed. Ares was, probably very purposefully, burning his bridges. 'Is he still there? In Nassau?' Long Island was way too close by.

Apollo nodded. 'I think so.' He cocked his head. 'Do you want me to keep an eye on him?'

I pulled at my cardigan again and glimpsed at my watch. Class was starting soon. For a few seconds I stalled, but then looked up at Apollo again. 'If you could.'

He nodded. 'Okay. It was nice seeing you, Emma. You look well. Have fun in Statistics.' With a last smile, he disappeared into the crowd.


	40. Chapter 40

_Update time! I'm not really 100% sure about this chapter, because not THAT much happens in it. Also, I've been changing the layout in my Word file so I really hope the layout on FF isn't very messed up, haha :)  
>I hope you like it, as always, please review!<em>

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><p>'<em>Ugh<em>. I can't believe I have to take this course.' I rolled around to face Gabrielle. We were lying on her bed, working on the assignments that we'd both accumulated in the first three weeks of the semester without actually doing them. 'It's the biggest waste of time of my _life_.'

Gabrielle laughed. 'Tell me about it. When is Christmas break again?'

I groaned. 'In three very long months.' She sighed in reply and went back to work. Funny how we'd both gone back to being bored of school so fast after a year of yearning to go back.

I hadn't told Gabrielle about my run-in with Apollo. It had seemed…almost irrelevant. It wasn't like seeing him had _changed_ anything. Besides, I didn't feel like listening to her reverie for the gods and her asking me if I was really okay – she still did that, even after almost a year. She still expected me to break down any moment. The truth was, I hadn't, and I wouldn't. I had been very successful in putting what Ares had told me in a place far away from my feelings. It almost seemed like a vague memory. _He had nothing on me. _And as the weeks went by he only seemed farther away and he only meant less to me. He could have his stories and his girls – and if he didn't see me, he wouldn't have to be reminded of Virginia. We all won.

And all I wanted was to just graduate, so I could start living the life I'd wanted before those damned Greek gods pulled it all away from me.

_ When we watch a movie, we see actors (i.e. non-fictional) acting out a story; therefore, we can never see them as the character they are portraying. Explain._ I buried my face in my notes, groaning again. 'Seriously, though. When am I ever gonna need this?'

'Stop whining!' Gabrielle said, softly smacking me on the back of my head with a notebook. 'You're distracting me. You'll get it done quicker if you just start working.'

I laughed. It was as if the roles had reversed – Gabrielle telling me to do my work?

The doorbell rang. 'I'll get it! Yay, pizza!' Gabrielle swung her legs off the bed and skipped towards the intercom. 'Hiiii, come in!' she called into the phone and danced out the door in her underwear and ratty t-shirt to get the pizza. I slammed my notebook shut – dinner was a welcome break – and sat up.

'Gabrielle.' I looked up when I heard the deep voice in the corridor. Not the pizza guy.

'Oh – uh – good evening… Sir?'

_ Don't call him that._ I shook my head to myself.

'Is Emma here?'

'Yeah – um – yeah, she is. Sir. Should I…I'll go get her.' Gabrielle came running back into her bedroom to find me sitting wide-eyed and in a mild shock on her bed. 'Get up, Emma, get up. You'll never guess who's here. Oh, Jesus, for a moment there I was almost like "hey, Noah" because he looks the same as when we met him but then I realized…' She stopped talking when I shook my head again. She sat down. 'Are you okay?'

I shrugged. I had no idea if I was okay. I wasn't supposed to be confused, right? I was supposed to go outside, be cool, dismiss him, eat my pizza and go back to studying. Right. That was exactly what I was going to do. 'Just… wait…' I put on the nearest pair of jeans I could find – somehow, about half of my wardrobe had ended up on Gabrielle's bedroom floor – and inhaled deeply. This was it. _Here goes nothing._

He was sitting at the top of the stairs, his back to me, when I opened the door. He looked up the moment he heard my bare feet on the soft, stained carpet. 'Emma.' I couldn't decipher the tone of his voice.

I stared at his face. Gabrielle had been right. He looked _exactly_ like Noah. The messy brown curls, the three-day stubble. Even the big scar was back. 'Why are you here?' I asked.

He looked down. There was nothing godly about him now. 'I missed you.' He spoke so softly I could hardly even hear him. When I didn't reply he turned and stood up. 'I really miss you, Emma.'

He was too close to me. I turned away from him. 'Sucks to be you,' I blurted out. I hadn't meant to say that. My mouth was just not listening to my brain.

We were both quiet for twenty long seconds, but then he took my hand and tugged at it weakly to pull me back towards him. I yanked it back. 'Don't touch me. Don't – just go away.' I still refused to meet his gaze. 'Why would you even come here? Didn't Apollo…'

'Apollo?' Ares frowned and retrieved his hand. 'What does Apollo have to do with anything? What, have you seen him?'

I sighed. Proof, yet again, that I couldn't trust Apollo. I didn't know why I had in the first place.

'Emma. Did he hurt you?'

'No!' I stepped back. 'No, he didn't hurt me! It was nothing. So if you could pl- if you could just go away and leave me alone for the rest of my life, then…' I trailed off.

'Then what?' He closed a bit of the distance between us.

'Then – _oh_ my god. Are you serious? Can't you just leave?' I threw my hands up in frustration.

'Emma – I just want to talk.' _Yeah, sure. _'Why won't you let me explain? It's been driving me crazy that I never got the chance to explain.'

I looked at the floor and rubbed at a stain with my big toe. Was he right? Had I been wrong in pushing him away without even giving him a chance to redeem himself? I looked up. No. I needed to stay strong and stay on point. 'Because I have so much to tell you and at the same time I have nothing to say to you.' Where did that suddenly come from?

Out of nowhere he put his hand on my shoulder. I let him. It was close and slightly uncomfortable, but at least it wasn't too intimate. 'I need you, Emma.' Every time he said my name I flinched a little. He dropped his hand. 'I need you to keep me sane.'

'You seemed to be doing pretty well before you had me.'

'That was different. You know that was different.'

I bit my lip. 'Should've thought of that before you told me about all your skeletons in the closet, then.'

The bell rang again and Gabrielle popped her head around the door. 'Really sorry to interrupt, but uh…' She quickly dashed past us and down the stairs to get our pizza.

'Saved by the bell,' Ares said dryly. Even though now was absolutely not the time for jokes and I really, _really _didn't want to show or even feel any sympathy towards him, I couldn't help but laugh a little. I couldn't remember the last time he had made me laugh, at least not like this, genuinely. Maybe he never even had since our…first date.

We watched Gabrielle climb up the stairs with a huge pizza box in her hands. She looked back at us without saying anything, just looked at me inquisitively.

I nodded. 'I'll be right there.'

Somehow, the atmosphere was lighter suddenly, even after Gabrielle had closed the door behind her and left Ares and me to ourselves again. 'So now what?' he asked.

'I need time, okay? More time,' I said, careful to not let my emotions take over. If I allowed them to come back, I knew the tears would come flooding with them. I'd thought that I had detached myself from feeling anything for Ares – but even a year of not seeing him had apparently not been enough. 'And even then I don't know.'

He looked away. 'Okay.' Slowly, he made his way back to the stairs. 'I'll go. But call me? Please?'

'Maybe.' I was already at the door.

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally I broke eye contact and opened the door. 'Enjoy your pizza,' he said and left.

It took me a few seconds of collecting myself before I crossed the threshold of the apartment. Gabrielle was sitting at the table, staring at me, a slice of pizza frozen on its way to her mouth.

'Is everything alright?' she asked.

I shrugged. 'I don't know.'

She put down the pizza. 'I'll be honest… That didn't actually look so tense.'

'I guess.' I pulled the chair next to hers back and sat down. 'It's just…'

'It's just?' She let her chin rest on her hand.

I drew my knees up on the chair and hugged them. 'There's just something about him that makes it so hard not to cry.'

'Oh, Emms.' Gabrielle stood up and threw her arms around me. Within seconds I was sobbing into her shoulder. I was close to letting ten months worth of tears out. No. I clenched my teeth.

'It's okay, it's okay. Hey.' She let go of me and squatted. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Honestly?' I bit my lip. 'Not really.' If I talked about it, I would only feel more terrible. I wouldn't allow myself that. I wouldn't give Ares that pleasure.

She nodded. 'Okay. Then let's eat our pizza, make hot chocolate and watch _The notebook_. Or a comedy? You pick.'


	41. Chapter 41

_Hey, kids. It took me so long to upload that my files of older chapters had disappeared from FF. My sincerest apologies! I'm hoping that you're still at least a little excited to read more of this story.  
>Though I haven't updated this story in AGES I did actually upload a bunch of stuff from my creative writing class on FictionPress - my username over there is DVGRT. Check it out if you want; it's pretty different from this though, haha.<br>Pleeeease let me know what you think of this! It was kind of hard to get back into the story (ok, really hard) but I did the best I could. Not sure if many of you will like the direction this is headed, but hey, at least it's positive :).  
>Also, I'll try to upload at least a little earlier than I did this time, but I can't be 100% sure because I will be leaving for New York City in a few weeks and then continue on to Los Angeles where I'll be studying for a few months, so I have no idea if I will have a lot of time to write. But I will definitely try to find some time and hopefully get over that damned writer's blocklack of imagination that I've been suffering from haha :)_

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><p>It wasn't hard to find Aphrodite's temple once I'd set foot on 7th Avenue. It was the only building in light pink marble in, probably, the entire city. I couldn't help but smile a little as I admired the architecture. Those mortals had done a good job mixing the style of our ancient temples with their modern taste.<p>

Once I stepped into the temple I stopped focusing on appearing mortal. Out in the streets I preferred to be anonymous – after all, it was what I'd grown used to – but in our temples I felt at home. At least, in most of them I did. Athena would never make me feel at home. Apollo and I were also still not that friendly.

My transformation had attracted more attention than I'd anticipated. Most of the people visiting the temple were women. Now that Aphrodite had effectively outlawed cosmetic surgery and other methods of attaining fake beauty – it had been quite hilarious to see all those changes suddenly undone, and I could only imagine what that must have been like in a city like Los Angeles – most of the women using those methods were stuck coming here to pray and hope Aphrodite would give them their youth back. I shook my head to myself. Pathetic.

It took me a little while to localize Aphrodite. She was in one of the back rooms, bathing with her nymphs with a few servants nearby. The servants, young girls that looked like they were new here, froze when they saw me and then quickly moved to cover the women with towels and drapey cloths. Aphrodite looked up and waved them away.

'Ladies, would you leave us alone?' she asked in Greek. The nymphs complied, pulling the servants with them since those didn't understand Greek yet. Typical of Aphrodite to just ignore that.

I stepped closer to the bath. 'Aphrodite…hi. Can I talk to you?'

She smiled brightly. 'Sure.'

'And not as my ex, but as the goddess of love?' My voice sounded a little strange to me. Was I nervous? It had been so long since had talked to each other as anything other than past lovers…

'What is this about, Ares? Is it Emma?' She had been leaning back, her breasts gloriously exposed, but now sat up straight and leaned her elbow on her knee.

'I need your help.' I bit my lip. It was a habit I'd subconsciously picked up from Emma. 'I don't know if…I don't know if I can get her back by myself. I don't know what to do.'

She looked at me sympathetically and stood up from the bath. After quickly drying herself and putting on a simple dress, she pulled me to her private rooms.

I looked around and whistled softly. 'Why do you always get the best-looking places?'

'It's my job. What is your temple like?'

We briefly looked at each other, at the same time realizing just how many months had passed before one of us sought out the other. I didn't answer.

'Okay. Sit down. Here's your drink.' She pushed a glass of nectar into my hand while pouring herself another glass.

'Thanks,' I said absent-mindedly, thinking again of why I was here. I guess I should be somewhat proud of myself for coming to Aphrodite for advice. Oh, damn it. I was the worst god of war any mortals could worship. I was a coward if I was even afraid to see my ex.

'Do you want to know why I was never really jealous of her?' Aphrodite asked me once she had settled down next to me on the sofa.

My focus was back with the conversation. I nodded. 'I've been wondering.'

'It's because you were never meant to be together. You could have had a future with all the other ones. It's just that circumstances interfered – okay, and I did, too – and your interwoven threads were cut off too soon.' Her tone was too matter-of-factly for my taste.

I frowned. 'What are you saying?'

She sighed. It wasn't an annoyed sigh – maybe it was more a compassionate one. I could never be sure with Aphrodite, though. 'I'm saying that you and Emma were doomed from the start. You didn't really think you'd get a second chance at your time with Virginia, did you?'

I looked down. 'I thought I'd be able to do things right this time.'

She laid a hand on my arm. 'I'm sorry, Ares. I truly am. But you don't have to be a love goddess to know this would never last.'

'Eros didn't. Eros wanted to see Emma and me together.' I knew that was a stubborn thing to say, even childish maybe, but I couldn't help it.

'Eros sees only the short term. You wouldn't believe how often he asks if we are getting back together.' Her eyes dimmed at the thought of Eros being unhappy. Whatever Aphrodite's flaws were, she cared more about our children than about anyone, even herself.

I chuckled grimly. 'Poor kid.'

'Can I give you some advice that you probably won't want to hear?'

'If I say no, will that stop you?'

She smiled. 'No.'

'Go ahead.'

'I know I've said this before. I've said this the past seventy years and you've never wanted to listen. But I think that this time it would really do you good to be away for a while. Come back to us. Don't go crazy like you did last year. Just find your footing with the family, win a few battles, be a brother again. And a father.' She squeezed my arm while saying those last three words.

'I'm not sure I could.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean that everything's changed. Besides, I've never been a good brother. Or a good father, for that matter.' I took a sip from my nectar, just so I could avoid her glance. I didn't want her to know how uncertain I really was of this. Of course she did know.

'Oh, please. Your sons founded Rome. I think you can be proud of that.' Was that her trying to make me feel better?

Because it didn't. 'You're forgetting that time Romulus killed Remus.'

She shook her head. 'Details! I'm sure you'll be fine, Ares.'

'What if I can't?' I bit my lip again and released it instantly to take another sip.

'Can't what? Find your place again in the family? Everyone might hate you, but we'll still welcome you back.' She patted me on my shoulder, laughing a bit. I knew it wasn't meant as an insult, so I smiled along a little.

'Not that.' My smile faded almost as quickly as it had appeared. 'What if I can't forget about Emma?'

She spotted the hopeful look in my eyes way too easily. 'Oh, oh no, Ares. I'm not helping you with that. I can already see us thirty years down the road when you can finally think about her without feeling so sorry for yourself and you'll probably be angry with me for taking her away from you, or something like that.'

I shoved her lightly. 'Hey. I didn't lie to Emma. You did take Elene and Elisabetta from me. And Claudine.'

'Funny how you almost forgot to mention Claudine.' It wasn't entirely an accusation.

'You know why.'

'Why didn't you tell Emma you're grateful for what I did? Because acknowledging I was right didn't fit in with the rest of the stories?'

I shrugged. 'It wasn't about that.'

'You might as well have skipped the Claudine part. Come to think of it, you probably shouldn't have told her anything. I'm pretty sure the stories sent her running. Especially that little part at the end…' Although her words might not be kind, her eyes were tender.

'I can't lie to her.'

'You've been lying to her all this time. You've been lying to her since the moment she set foot in your house.'

'I haven't,' I said, but I knew she was right.

'Do I need to get Apollo and see if you're lying now? Because I know you have. Those first weeks, before she knew. Little things, like what you do for a living. How often you see your parents. But even the times you said you'd never seen anyone as beautiful as her.'

'That's not a lie. Admit it, she's stunning.'

'First of all, I felt a bit offended when you said that.' She grinned a little.

I laughed. Of course the goddess of beauty would.

'Second, you will always consider her second most beautiful because Virginia already snatched the top spot. Of human girls, that is.'

We both remained quiet for a few seconds. I looked down again. 'How do I ever make it up to her, Aph?'

She took my hand and forced me to look her in the eye. 'Are you sure you want to take the risk?'

'Yes. I've tried to move on, believe me. I can't. I'm losing myself. I can't go back to Olympus without knowing I've done everything I can to win her back.' Besides, how could I function as a war god if I was constantly worrying if I might be putting her in danger? Or was that just an excuse for me to think the way I did?

'There's the fighter I know and love.' She smiled and rubbed her thumb over my index finger. 'I will help you. I can't promise that you will succeed, but I swear on Styx that I will help you.'

I looked up incredulously. 'Are you serious?'

'I've already sworn the oath. Can't back out now.'

'Thank you, Aphrodite. Really. Thank you.' I breathed the words, still not really believing what she had just said. But it was an oath on Styx and there was nothing she could do to take back her words.

The look on her face was determined, almost cold. 'But it's going to be hard. We're not using Eros's arrows. This has to be real.'

I clenched my right fist. No easy way out, apparently. 'What do we do?'

'You go and have some fun in Alaska. I may not be interested in all your war stories, but I can't help but overhear your guards talking.' She grinned.

'And you? What are you going to do?'

'I'm going to work my magic. I'll let you know when I need you in the action.' She gulped down her nectar – still graceful as ever – and stood up. As she walked away her voice sang through the air, calling for her nymphs. Our conversation was over, but it had left me feeling a little more hopeful.


	42. Chapter 42

_Yay quick update! A really short one though, but these weren't scenes I could easily draw out very long. I decided to finally give you guys what a few of you mentioned you wanted :)  
>And even though I'm updating before hardly any of you have (probably) even read the last update, I'd still very much love to know what you think of both of these last two chapters!<br>_

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><p>'Hey, dad. Hey dad. Hey <em>dad<em>!' I saw Phobos and Deimos jumping up and down from the corner of my eye. Their armor made a gigantic amount of noise as they moved, but it was drowned out by the sounds emanating from the battlefield.

'_What?_' I snapped.

'Daaad. Come on. We want to go back.' They had already taken the fur off their shoulders, ready to jump back into the snow and fight.

'Go without me,' I mumbled, pulling my own fur a little closer. Damn, it was cold up here.

Their lips started to tremble. If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were about to start crying. But Phobos and Deimos never cried. With them, trembling lips were a sign of massive anger about to explode. 'You've been saying that for the past five days. You've only been out there once since we got here,' Phobos said.

His brother, always the one to speak out a little more easily, stepped closer. 'You're only pining for that stupid girl! You're boring and it's like she kicked you in the balls and what the fuck have you really done this past year? Grow a pair, dad! Pussy!'

I grabbed his shoulder with more than enough force to crush his bones. He yelped briefly. 'You do not talk to me like that. I am still your father and I will not tolerate this,' I hissed, my face inches from Deimos's.

'THEN BE MY FATHER!' he yelled. 'What good are you as god of war if you're not even in the war? If you're not acting like a man?'

That stung. I released his shoulder, casting a long glance to the battlefield. He squeezed it hard for a second with a pained look on his face, then relaxed as the bones healed.

'Go prepare the people, spread some fear,' I said as I threw off the fur. 'I'll be right there.'

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><p><em>Hey, Emma Sawyer.<em> I rolled around and moaned a little. I wasn't ready to wake up. Wait, didn't I just go to bed?

_Emma. Emma._

'Shut up, Gab,' I muttered, my eyes still closed.

_Don't look now, Emma Sawyer._

I frowned when I realized the whispers seemed to come from right next to my ear. Suddenly wide awake, my eyes flew open, only to see it wasn't morning yet… and in the dark two pairs of eyes were staring at me. I heard a soft laugh – a maniacal one. There was no joy, no humor in the sound.

A gasp escaped my mouth and I quickly raised my hand to cover my lips. Could I scream? What would happen if I did?

'Emmaaaa,' one of the voices sang softly.

'Gab…rielle?' I tried with a shaky voice, hardly loud enough to even be heard outside my bedroom door.

The eyes came closer. 'She won't be able to help you.' This voice was a little louder, though just as youthful as the other.

I sat up and tried to move as far away from the eyes as I could. 'Who are you?' I spit out. 'What do you want from me? I don't have anything.' Although on second thought, they probably weren't here to steal anything if they behaved like this. And what had happened to Gabrielle?

'Call us Delta and Phi,' the singsong voice said. 'We're here for you.'

How did two young boys – because judging from their voices, that was definitely what they were – sound so menacing? I looked away from the eyes that never blinked and held on to the sheets, balling them up in my shaking fist. 'I don't…' I answered nervously, but the words I was trying to form faded in my throat. All I wanted was to hide underneath the covers and wait for them to go away. I couldn't even see their outlines – it was as if all the lights everywhere in the world had been turned off and the eyes were all that was left to see. I gasped for air a bit as I pushed myself into the corner and felt my lungs tighten.

_Emma, Emma, Emma_. The whispers again. I hadn't even felt this afraid when I thought Apollo was going to kill me.

One of them bared his shiny white teeth – just not as dazzling as Apollo's – and I felt another surge of fear, even panic, come over me. I grabbed my pillow from underneath me and held it against my chest as if it would protect me. 'Please go away.' I was on the verge of crying.

After the other also produced a ghoulish smile the two boys seemed to look at each other for a moment, then turned their stares back to me.

'Goodnight, Emma Sawyer.' It didn't sound nice. It didn't sound polite. It only sounded threatening and scary as hell. As they disappeared, the pitch-black darkness lifted and the sounds from outside seemed to be turned on again. But more importantly – as soon as they were gone my fear vanished. Only the thought of fear and their threats was left.


	43. Chapter 43

_'James.' Virginia put her hand on my wrist. 'You don't have to do this.'  
>I shook my head and stubbornly refused to lower my hand, trying to feed her the bread she was too weak to bring to her mouth herself. 'You need it. You need me to do this, so I'll do it.' I made it sound as if I was doing it all for her, and I was, but I knew in my heart that I needed her to need me. I had to have <em>some_ purpose in my life, now that my very essence had been ripped away when my father forbade me from interfering in the war.  
>When it became clear she wasn't going to eat, I brought my hand down and stared at the piece of bread. If I just told her… if I just told her everything about me I could help her. I could get Apollo to heal her. Maybe I could even get her brother back from Hades. A brief flash of hope coursed through me.<br>'Why are you always here, James? Don't you have somewhere else to be than at some dying girl's bedside?' She smiled sweetly, sadly. I stared at her face, just barely avoiding her eyes, and felt the spark die slowly. I could never tell her the truth. She'd lost too much to the war – to me – already._

The memory of her face, so sad, so gaunt, so selfless, bit into me as I slashed a soldier's knee tendons. As he fell to the ground, his face pleading but already dying, I pushed him away roughly and stepped through the blood that was quickly pouring out of his wounds.

_'Aaaaahh!' Her laugh rang in my ears as the background turned into a blur and her long blond hair flew up with the movement. I laughed with her until I stopped spinning and fell down on the grass with her next to me.  
>Emma was slightly panting. 'I feel a little dizzy,' she confessed while still softly chuckling.<br>I'd stopped chuckling and put a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 'Good thing we're lying down, then,' I said, while softly brushing over her lips with my thumb.  
>'The grass tickles in my neck a bit, though. Beds are definitely more comfy,' she sighed, but she had a mischievous look in her eyes. She'd picked up on the double meaning of what I said, and reached her head over to steal a kiss. I felt that the kiss had been intended to be short, but her lips seemed to be glued to mine for a brief moment before she pulled away. It was always like that. In those moments, with anyone, I fell just a little too deep and couldn't focus on my mortal cover anymore. In those moments I drew any woman closer, just because of what I was.<br>I looked away from her face and sternly reprimanded myself. _She is not Virginia._ If I looked away, I could make a mental picture of Emma, of her personality, of everything except her face.  
>'Hey. Noah. What's going on in there?' Emma poked into my side playfully. I smiled with my eyes closed. She was just so <em>fun_, and I hadn't let myself have fun in so long._

My sword ripped through an abdominal muscle. I didn't even feel the man's spear scraping against the skin of my arm. I looked away from him toward the fighting men around me, but then he spit on my bronze armor, and for that he deserved to die.

_ 'Gin!' I rushed down the stairs and almost scooped her up in my arms, but stopped myself when I saw her clutching her stomach with both arms. 'Ginny? Are you alright?'  
>She coughed. 'I'm fine. I just fell.'<br>I squatted down next to her. 'Are you sure? I heard you tumble all the way… I should get you to a doctor.'  
>'No!' she said quickly. 'I'm fine! I'm fine, James! We don't need to see the doctor!'<br>My glance went from the top of her head – it looked fine, and she didn't act as if she had a concussion – down and stopped when I saw the growing pool of blood by her thighs. 'Gin…'  
>'Can you help me up?' Her voice sounded almost as weak as it had months ago, when she was still so sick.<br>I shook my head. 'Gin, you're bleeding. I'm taking you to the hospital.'  
>She grabbed my arm when I tried to move it underneath her shoulders. 'No doctors. Please?'<br>Seeing the look in her eyes, I sat down, but reluctantly, and moved up the hem of her skirt to find the source of the blood. She stopped me. 'Why not?' I pleaded.  
>'Because…' She bit her lip. 'Because I'm pregnant.' She turned her face away as the tears started to flow. 'And I think I've lost the baby.'<em>

I almost took a mortal's scalp off his head at the thought of her miscarriage. He shrieked in pain, so loud and so long, that he almost deafened me for the battle cries around me. I pulled on his hair a little harder and slit his throat deeply enough for his vocal cords to be severed and his shrieking to stop.

_'That was…' Emma pulled in a deep breath.  
>'I know.' My hand found hers under the sheets. She squeezed my fingers a little and turned her face toward mine. Her eyes were a little droopy, but she jumped out of bed and walked into the bathroom.<br>I rolled around and looked out the window. From my low viewpoint, I could only see the stars. They were so bright tonight.  
>My view was obstructed when Emma came back and lay down. 'Hi,' she said softly.<br>She looked at me a little longer, but I could see that she was already half asleep. I silently kissed her on her nose and watched her close her eyes. Sure, it had been fantastic for Emma, but I had to get out of bed for a little while to finish the work for myself. It had taken me everything not to lose my mortal appearance._

I groaned as I looked around and saw all that happened much too clearly. This was not me. I couldn't lose myself in the war because I'd been losing myself in memories. Even my companions seemed out of it – there was no fear, no panic, no discord. This battle was too relaxed.  
>I took a deep breath to empty my mind. I wiped the ichor from my armor – my blood had been golden again since I had my believers back – and, with a look at Deimos, Phobos and Eris, dove into the frenzy.<p> 


	44. Chapter 44

_Hi guys. It's been a while. As I predicted I didn't get _any_ writing done while I was studying abroad... and I literally just opened my document for this story for the first time in _months_ so I really had to get into it again. This is bad. I know. I just hope you haven't all abandoned this story, because I'm pretty excited to be working on it again and to know what you think. It's spring break, so I might be able to write a lot this week, but no promises (I've broken those too often already). Please review!_

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><p>'Hi Emma!'<br>I looked to my side at the boy who slid into the seat next to mine and chuckled. 'Aren't you a little young to be in college, Eros?'  
>Eros shook his head, sighing loudly. The spark in his eyes convinced me it was all in jest. 'Don't judge the prodigy,' he said semi-seriously.<br>I started laughing, but stopped as soon as I realized it made no sense for him to be next to me in Statistics class. 'But why _are_ you in college?'  
>'Hey, I've already been in middle school and high school enough times to teach there.' He shrugged. 'Thought I'd try out university for once.' It sounded sincere the way everything Eros said sounded sincere, but I decided I wasn't fooled. I knew better than to express my suspicion, though.<br>'So… you decided to take Stats? You can do whatever you want and you do _Statistics_?' I laughed a little. Even if he might not be completely honest with me now, I still felt as if I could joke around with Eros.  
>'Hermes said it'd be fun…' Eros trailed off. 'Shouldn't have trusted him. I've already skipped more classes than I've attended and I'm still <em>dying<em>. Metaphorically,' he added quickly, as if I, the mortal, didn't understand that.  
>I smiled. 'What else are you taking?'<br>He perked up a little – a smile spread on his face and he sat up straighter. 'A Psychology course, so maybe I'll understand Psyche more.' He grinned. 'And, um, a course in War Studies, because…' I raised an eyebrow. Eros slumped back into his seat; his cheeks turned red. 'Because I just… I really want to – I want to un-understand Dad better as well,' he stammered, obviously avoiding my glance.  
>I looked away as well and furiously clicked my pen without noticing. The letters on the blackboard began to dance in front of my eyes. It had been almost ten days since Ares' visit to my apartment, and after my initial burst of tears I'd kept a pretty straight face and managed to be strong. Externally. In my head was a tornado of thoughts – not in the least because ever since that night with Delta and Phi, I hadn't been able to sleep properly. They hadn't been back, and I hadn't felt that insane panic anymore, but just the memory of it was enough to keep me awake so they wouldn't catch me off guard.<br>'Emma?' I pressed my eyes shut. 'Are you okay?'  
>Eros laid his soft, slender hand on my arm and I inhaled deeply. 'Do you want me to take you home?' he asked.<br>I shook my head and opened my eyes. The letters on the blackboard – class had finally begun, and the professor was drawing graphs – were clear again.  
>'I shouldn't have told you that.' A girl three seats away from us glared at Eros – the entire class was quiet now, aside from him.<br>'It's okay. I'm okay. I'm just, um, tired,' I whispered. He looked at me skeptically, but remained quiet.

After the professor and most of the students had left, Eros turned to me while I was packing my things. 'I don't believe you and I want to know why the mention of my Dad got you _that_ unsettled. I know things are weird, but there has to be something more. How are you feeling about him?'  
>I frowned. 'On what kind of mission <em>are<em> you?' And, also, why did everything always have to boil down to how I felt about Ares? For just a little while I'd thought I could maybe even have a friend in Eros – Eros as a person, not as an Olympian god – but in a short hour he'd shattered that hope. He probably wasn't here to be in university at all – because why would he really? No, his father had probably sent him here.  
>'I have no obligation to tell you that,' he answered with a determined look in his eyes. If I hadn't already known teenagers could be absolutely terrifying, I would have been shocked at the maturity and threat Eros now exuded.<br>I backed away. 'Then, um, I guess I… I want to go.' I didn't want to assume he'd just let me go without answering his question… but I also didn't want to ask him for his permission. He nodded, though. I picked up my bag and turned around to walk away.  
>'Emma?'<br>I spun again, a little surprised by the gentleness in his voice. 'What?'  
>'Can you take care of yourself?' Eros looked pensive, and I remembered that despite the fact that he was young in every way, he had centuries more life experience than I did.<br>'Sure,' I nodded.  
>'That wasn't a request.' He paused for a second. 'Are you capable of taking care of yourself right now?'<br>What was he getting at? I knew I looked worse than I had in, well, about ten months, and if he knew why I did exactly, he'd have reason to be concerned, but I didn't understand his question.  
>'I'm fine,' I answered a little too quickly for him to be convinced.<br>His worried gaze lingered on me as I prepared to leave, but he didn't say anything else. I couldn't help but wonder what he knew on my way home.


	45. Chapter 45

I tried to sleep that night. I really did, and for a sweet little while I seemed to succeed – but then the nightmares started. I had no idea how long I'd really slept, but I was sure I'd never had nightmares like this – so long, so diverse, so vivid. Even after I awoke drenched in sweat and went to the kitchen to gulp down a glass of water, I wasn't sure whether it had been a dream or reality.  
>It began with the old nightmare I'd often had when I was little and when I'd always run to my parents' bedroom to have my dad hug me back to a peaceful sleep. It was the nightmare in which I was so small and giant things were coming at me, threatening to crush me – people, books, my stuffed bunny. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't run away. I couldn't even crawl away because everywhere I attempted to go were the enormous menacing things.<br>My stuffed bunny somehow morphed into a shark – I was underwater without air, unable to swim to the surface because it kept getting further away, and the shark swam around me, inching closer with every circle. Then, as I struggled to keep breathing, darkness.  
>And out of that darkness suddenly came a blinding light bringing me back to that sunny day we held my father's funeral – but it wasn't sunny now and the light vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving me to drown once again in the rain that streamed down my face, into my eyes and my nose and my mouth, beating down on my dad's coffin, beating so hard it broke the wood. The coffin fell apart but in it was not my father – it was the bright light again, the glow of blond curls drilling through my retinas. I fell on my knees – my kneecaps seemed to shatter – and clawed at my eyes but I had lost all sight. I gasped for breath but I couldn't seem to catch any air.<br>Suddenly I was lifted up by incredibly strong arms but instead of helping me catch my balance they just knocked me down again. The hands kept punching my face until my cheekbones and my jawbones broke and I felt the blood clogging my nose. Then, the piercing pain between my legs, and everything faded.

I filled the glass again and walked towards the mirror. Aside from the sweaty hair sticking to my face and the growing bags under my eyes, I looked fine. I could barely remember the pain that had seemed so real, so sharp. For a brief moment I considered waking up Gabrielle and asking if I could sleep in her bed tonight, but I decided against it; she was already worried enough about my lack of sleep.  
>I sighed and hugged my knees. If only I could run to my dad's bedside now.<br>After finishing the second glass of water, I went into the bathroom. Gabrielle had bought me some medicine, just in case, that would supposedly help me sleep dreamlessly. I rummaged through the medicine cabinet trying to find the pills, when my glance fell on a bottle with an almost illegible label. Right. I remembered taking my antidepressants in the months before and after my dad's death – I'd barely had any dreams then, let alone nightmares. _Might as well take them now, too._ I quickly popped the pills – it didn't go as easily as back then – and went back to my room.

I didn't even get the chance to have nightmares again. Within minutes after I pulled the covers over me, my room suddenly became pitch black and I felt that panic wash over me.  
>'Missed us?' It was that singsong voice I would never forget.<br>I squeezed my eyes shut, so I wouldn't have to see the white teeth and the eyes, but it only made me focus all the more on what I heard.  
><em>You need company, don't you?<em> the other voice whispered.  
>They exchanged a joyless chuckle. 'You don't want those nightmares again, do you?'<br>_We won't leave you alone. You won't be alone tonight.  
><em>I hardly even dared to move, but quickly grabbed my pillow to cover my ears with it – to no avail. Their voices, even if they were so soft, rang in my ears.  
><em>Open your eyes, Emma Sawyer.<br>_'Leave me alone,' I cried into my mattress.  
>I shouldn't have done that. The moment I said it, I felt their breath on my bare neck. Their nasty smell – dirt, dried blood – traveled even through my pillow into my nose.<br>_We'll be right here for you, Emma.  
><em>I didn't know what to do. I wanted to yell for Gabrielle's help, I wanted to turn the lights on, I wanted to somehow stop Delta and Phi from tormenting me… but I was too afraid. So I stayed as still as I could, trying not to cringe every time I felt a stream of breath or heard a whisper, and attempted to pretend they weren't there.  
>Until a cold hand slowly pulled the covers away. I felt a shudder travel through my entire body and the panic was now accompanied by crazy anxiety – I didn't think I'd ever worried so much in my life. About Gabrielle, about my mother, about my brother, about my future and my life and whether I was even going to make it through the night. I couldn't stop shaking and crying and wishing for the restlessness to stop. Shouldn't those meds have kicked in by now?<br>'Go.' That woman's voice only distressed me all the more. I felt a brush of air and felt courageous enough to look if Delta and Phi were there – but only for a split second. That glimpse of the woman, tall and dark in the night, was enough to give me goose bumps all over again.  
>My thoughts raced. How could I be sure Gabrielle was okay? Would she be feeling any of this, too? I hadn't checked in with my mom and my brother in days. What if something had happened to them? What if one of them had somehow gotten into an accident and was injured so far beyond identification that I'd never even know?<br>The woman let out a content little sound and I could just feel her smile, even if I wasn't looking to see it for myself. I needed to get rid of her somehow – I was afraid if I didn't my mind would never be clear of worry… and then it clicked. She, and Delta and Phi, had visited me only in the night. They had to be creatures of darkness, then – and if I could stop the night, maybe I'd stop them. My hand slammed into the light switch above my bed before she could stop me. Once the darkness was gone, so was she. I fell back into my bed, solemnly promising to always sleep with the lights on from now on.


	46. Chapter 46

_Hiiii guys. It's been a while. I could try explaining this by telling you I've been writing a bachelor's thesis the past few months but the truth is I just didn't really think much about this story anymore... sorry (and damn, I say that word a lot here...)! However, I'm on summer break now (scratch that - I graduated college!) and breaks = Savage Love in my case. As I also said in the previous few sporadic updates, I really needed to get into it again and thus this one is short and not that great. Also no action. But there will be soon :) Sit tight, I'm excited to work on this again. And to maybe finally finish it, haha. Review please!_

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><p>'Dad?'<p>

With the sword still in my hand I turned. 'Eros? Hi.'

'Um, hi.' He nervously glanced around. Even though he practically never parted with his bow and arrow, a room full of weapons and armor was foreign to him. It would be – I could count the times he had come to visit me in my temple in the past year on one hand.

'How are you? How's college?' I gestured for him to sit down on one of the heavy crates and he did; I put away the sword and sat on another crate.

He shrugged. 'I don't know, it's not… difficult but I don't always understand it. At least Psyche can help me with my Psychology assignments.' We both chuckled. 'War Studies, though… I guess I could use some tutoring there. Happen to know any experts on war?'

I nodded, laughing. 'I think I might know someone. Did you want to do that now?'

'Oh, no…' He looked away, looking almost as if he was ashamed of something. 'That's not actually why I came here… It's ab-about Emma.' He said her name softly.

Now I was the one to avert my glance. 'What about her?'

'I'm worried about her.'

'Yeah, you're not the only one.'

Eros frowned. 'What do you mean? Do you know what's going on?'

'No, it's just, with the Virginia thing… Why, is anything-' I was cut off by the sudden flare of Eros' wings, a sign that he was irritated. His ill temper was one of the very few things he'd inherited from me.

'Virginia _died_, dad! You _have_ to stop being so hung up on her. It's almost seventy-five years ago!'

'What's going on with Emma, Eros?'

He threw his hands up in frustration. '_Listen_ to me, dad! The only reason I'm not putting a lead arrow in your chest for Virginia somehow is because mom told me not to!'

I'd never even considered that option. I hadn't really needed it before meeting Emma – in the decades following Virginia's death she had slowly moved to the back of my mind; always in my mind but not always in my thoughts. In the past year, I'd just figured I would just have to get over her. That was clearly more difficult than I would have thought. 'Maybe a lead arrow would help.'

Eros looked at me incredulously. 'I'm not doing it.'

'Why not? You said the only reason you're not is because your mother forbade it. What if I told you to do it?' I couldn't remember ever having been hit by one of Eros' lead arrows. Then again, no one ever consciously did.

Eros shook his head. 'I'm sorry, dad, but I don't take those commands from you. You're going to have to get over her by yourself. And you better do it fast, too.'

I nodded quickly, already thinking of an alternative plan.

'And, uh, about Emma…' Eros started clumsily. 'She looks like she hasn't slept in weeks. Literally.'

I frowned. 'Did you ask her about it?'

'I did, two weeks ago or so. She said she was fine, but she's only gotten worse since.'

That sounded like typical Emma behavior, trying to stay strong even when she obviously didn't need to. I smiled a little, but quickly went back to the topic at hand. 'Think something's bothering her?'

'Of course something's bothering her.' Eros bit his thumbnail. 'I just don't know if it's in her mind or if there's a real something.'

'Alright, I'm going to check it out.' But first, I needed to do something else. 'Can you keep an eye on her?'

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><p>'I'll give you a hundred souls in return.'<p>

'Make it a thousand.'

'Five hundred.'

Hades laughed scornfully. 'Go have Hermes teach you how to negotiate. A thousand, or I'm not giving you anything.'

I sighed. 'Fine. A thousand. When?'

He paused for a moment with his fingers against his lips, thinking. 'By the end of the month. And they'd better be collectibles.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't have a lot of girls here. Scandinavian, Swiss. I have plenty of young men… they don't add much value to the collection anymore.'

'What? I'm the god of war, not of child murder. Young men are pretty much the only thing I _can_ give you.'

Hades smiled. His eyes were completely void of emotion… but then they always were. 'In that case, double the amount.'

I nodded. I knew my position was too weak now to argue about numbers any more. 'So when can I see her?'

'The moment you give me the very last soul.'


	47. Chapter 47

_Andddd here's a quick one again. Yay more Italian! I have no idea if it's correct, but I'll put semi-translations (according to Google) at the bottom - although I technically shouldn't, given that this is from Emma's perspective and she doesn't speak Italian :) Hope you like it!_

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><p>I sighed as I closed my window, waving away a stubborn crow that had been sitting on the ledge for at least half an hour already, and drew the curtains. Yet another night of terrors ahead. I had already taken my antidepressants – they clearly didn't work so well, as I still had nightmares, but at least they weren't as bad as that first time – and now stood by the light switch, hesitating. In the past weeks I had left my light on as I had sworn to myself… but it never stopped Delta and Phi and that woman from coming. They just somehow turned the light off, not even waking me up because I couldn't fall asleep anyway. I might as well turn it off myself.<p>

Slowly, I clicked the light switch, rendering the room almost completely dark save for the little strip of light coming in from between the curtains. I took a deep breath and dove into bed the same way I had when I was little, afraid of the monsters underneath my bed. At least now that I knew they existed, the monsters weren't hiding. I carefully put in my earplugs and pulled my sleeping mask over my eyes before burying myself in blankets. Anything to prolong my time without fear.

I awoke with a jolt. Not because of whispers or nightmares. Not because of excessive fear or worrying. I awoke because something heavy fell against my bed and then on top of me – putting a brief flash of despair through me before it was literally lifted from me.

'_Esci__!_' an insanely deep voice hollered right through my earplugs. I pulled them out and took off my sleeping mask, revealing… absolutely nothing. The room was as pitch black as it had been every single night in the past weeks. A gust of wind blew past me and then the chaos picked up again – I heard metal clanking and voices sputtering while that deep voice, so familiar, was roaring things that sounded like insults. I made myself as small as I could and hid in the corner while Ares and my assailants fought.

'_Come osa__!_' I felt another collision with my bed and the wood breaking.

'_Ma papa –_'

'_Sta 'zitto__!_'

Papa? I hit the light switch above my bed and found three pairs of eyes – two of which white and ghoulish as I'd seen so many times already – staring at me. Ares was holding the two boys down against the wall, employing little force but clearly easily overpowering them. All of them were dressed in bloodied bronze armor, Delta and Phi both wearing helmets that hid their faces. Delta and Phi… of course. If they were Ares' sons, they were Deimos and Phobos, fear and terror personified. How could I have been so stupid not to figure that out?

They used the moment of confusion to break free of their father's hold and moved towards me again, until they were stopped by Ares yanking them back. They yelled back and forth in that unintelligible language; it sounded as if Ares was _very_ sternly reprimanding them, but I couldn't be sure.

'_Vattene! Vi punirò più tardi. Non ti azzardare a tornare!_' Ares shouted, and after one wicked grin in my direction, Deimos and Phobos disappeared.

Ares turned to face me. 'Are you okay?' he asked, his voice softer than just moments earlier but still… different. I hadn't heard his real voice in so long that I had forgotten how extraordinarily deep it was. Or maybe it had just gotten even deeper than I had been used to – the same way the rest of him seemed even more imposing than he'd already been. He moved closer and squatted, his armor making faint little sounds as the metal clashed, and almost took my face in his hand to inspect it before he apparently thought better of it.

I gave a slight nod. 'I think so?' I really wasn't sure. I was tired as hell. I was almost surprised at being awake at night and _not _being overcome with dread. I was shocked after seeing Ares' sons – and how incredibly different they were from nice, shy, excitable Eros. I was intimidated by Ares and his fury. And I was angry because _his own sons_ had been terrorizing me for weeks. But most of all, I was confused from seeing him again and being saved by him. How was I supposed to act here? I really just wanted him to leave so I could go back to sleep and because I just didn't want to see him, but I knew it wouldn't be that easy. 'How did you know?'

He looked down, smiling. 'I've been here the whole night.'

What? That was creepy. 'But how-'

'No, don't worry,' he said, shaking his head briefly. 'That crow you tried shooing away earlier? That was me.'

'You – you were that crow? And now you're sitting here all dressed like you just got back from the Battle of Gettysburg?' I was probably supposed to understand – of _course_ gods could turn into birds, no big deal – but I was still much too tired to wrap my mind around it.

'Gothenburg, actually.' He said it as if he had just had a business meeting there, instead of… No, I really didn't want to think about what he'd been doing in Gothenburg. 'Eros told me something was up, so I wanted to be sure you were safe. You seemed to be doing fine and I was almost about to leave when Oizys and my sons showed up.'

I looked away. That was a tiny bit sweet. I would not allow myself to think positively of him in any way, though. 'Who's Oizys?' I asked instead of responding to his protector tale.

'She's Nyx's daughter. She's the one who's been giving you so much anxiety. I'm guessing Dei and Pho somehow enlisted her… I'll talk to her. She won't be coming back.'

I nodded. Maybe I'd be able to get full nights of sleep again, but I wasn't convinced. I'd gotten so used to fearing the night. 'Why were they here?'

Ares frowned. He seemed to be collecting his thoughts, choosing his words carefully. 'I don't know,' he eventually said. I didn't believe him – he clearly knew, but I wasn't in the mood to push for a real answer. I was way too exhausted to even try to argue with him.

'Um…' I started. He raised his eyebrows. 'I'd really like to… go back to bed now…'

He quickly nodded and took a step back. 'I'll be outside on the ledge.'

I bit my lip. 'I really want to be alone, actually.' Not just that. I didn't want to wake up and open my curtains just to see Ares-as-a-crow sitting there.

'Emma, I want to make sure that you're safe.' He rubbed his neck. 'I don't think they'll be back, but just in case.'

'Fine.' I sighed softly. 'But I'd-I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone in the morning.'

I caught a brief pained look in his eyes before he averted them. 'Okay. Good night. If anything happens, I'll be here within a second.' As if to emphasize that statement he was gone in a flash, and I crawled back under my covers.

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><p>'<em>Esci<em>_!_' - 'Get out!'

'_Come osa__!_' - 'How dare you!'

'_Ma papa –_' - 'But dad -'

'_Sta 'zitto__!_' - 'Shut up!'/'Quiet!'

'_Vattene! Vi punirò più tardi. Non ti azzardare a tornare!_' - Ha, REALLY not sure about this one. I put in 'Go away! I will punish you later. Don't you dare come back!'


	48. Chapter 48

_Yay more language things! And again insults. Translations are, as always, at the bottom. (And again I have no idea if they're correct but I have chosen to trust the 'Norwegian curse words' website I found. Please review after reading :)_

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><p>The pained screams faded as I twisted my spear into the young man's chest. His body grew heavier until he fell down onto his knees, taking my spear down with him – I pulled it out and the fresh blood started streaming and mixing with the sand. I sighed. One thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Just one more to go – I had better make it count. I looked around me at the raging battle until I found a man, a boy really, he could barely be more than sixteen years old, fighting with such intensity that he could almost rival me – that is, on my off days.<p>

The boy couldn't have ended up here any other way than through being drafted to defend his country and being unlucky enough to live in a society where none of his father's fortune could save him from having to go. His clothes and protective gear were made of the finest materials that only the highest officials in this particular military possessed and a handgun of the newest model swung from his hip. His knife entered his opponent's chest (a weak, even younger boy – what even _was_ the drafting age here?) just as he wheeled around to face me.

'Oh, don't form a line on my account,' he said through a grin and raised his knife again. He clearly hadn't recognized me – as he shouldn't, since I was disguised as a mere soldier, a small stocky one, and my face was smeared with dirt.

'Feeling cocky, are we?' I gestured to his gun. 'Nice Remington you've got there.' He was not supposed to have it. At the beginning of the battle (and this wasn't the first battle where this happened), I had decided that close-contact fighting was much better and, honestly, more fun, and made all firearms explode. In quite a lot of cases, it had not been a pretty sight… but it had upped my body count, so in a way it benefited me. Apparently, I had missed at least one.

The boy was still approaching me with a smirk on his face. 'Wanna see it up close? Here, I'll show you how it works.' He pulled the gun from his hip and pointed it at me in one swift move, but his arm fell when I started laughing.

'So tough.' I shook my head, still softly chuckling. 'Give that to me.'

He let out a snicker. '_Kyss meg i raeva, slingrefitte_.' He lifted the gun and shot – but the bullet had barely even escaped the barrel and hit my bronze armor before I had thrown him to the ground, now having completely let go of my mortal mask. The boy was momentarily stunned motionless, but quickly found his courage and spit in my face. 'Get off!'

I pushed down on his chest – the boy was getting less and less air – and wiped the spit off my cheek. 'Should know better than to insult a god. _Du är en god uppoffring, lilla skitunge_.'

His eyes widened at the words (he could easily understand them – after all, Norwegian and Swedish were so closely related) but he didn't have time to scream, because I had already pierced his throat with his own knife.

Two thousand.

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><p>Hades blocked my way with an outstretched arm. 'And remember, if you so much as <em>try<em> to find the other girls, you and all your living and future descendants will suffer the consequences.'

'I know, Hades.' I refrained myself from rolling my eyes. 'What if I just happen to run into one of them, though?' I would never admit it to Hades, but I couldn't deny to myself that I was actually hoping to see more of them than just Gin. I had visited Claudine before, quite soon after she had killed herself, to see if death had done her any good. It had – she had found peace in the Asphodel Meadows, and I had never seen her since. I had seen Elisabetta, too; a few times in fact. When she reached Elysium she had chosen to stay and enjoy what it had to offer her, rather than have her soul reborn. Hades had allowed me to visit her once every century and she remembered me, which always briefly eased the pain of losing her. That pain had been fading over the years, but of course it was still there. It had only been a little over thirty years since my last visit, but now that I was so close I wished I could see her a second time this century.

'That will not happen unless you make it. Stop finding excuses. It is not part of our deal.' When I brusquely nodded, Hades dropped his arm. 'You can go.'

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><p>Souls swarmed around me as the blood of the newly slaughtered cow flowed into a shallow pit. If they could have pushed each other to get closer to the blood they would have – but now they were left to wait their turn and drink. There was only a bit of blood left when I saw Virginia drink; she had already seen me, but now that she could speak and actually recognized me, she slowly moved toward me in the same laborious way all souls did.<p>

'James?' the hollow echo of her voice sounded. Her face was lank, dead skin – burn scars visible ever so slightly – stretched tight and thin over her cheekbones.

'Ginny.' I tried, stupidly, to grab her hands, but of course there was nothing physical to hold onto. Her arm flared up but never seemed to stay steady.

'James… You look different.' Her glance went from my clothing – I hadn't bothered to wear armor, and Virginia had been literally scared to death when she had seen me in full armor – to my hair. I looked away. Of course she would think I looked different, with my more modern clothes and haircut. She wouldn't realize I actually looked much too much the same for someone who she had not seen in almost seventy-five years. 'How… how long has it been? Is the war still going on?'

I shook my head. 'No. They were stopped.' I hesitated then, but eventually decided to spare her fragile mind. 'It's been eight years, Ginny. I… I don't know how to live without missing you.'

She almost seemed to fall as she tried to embrace me to no avail. I wished she could – I wished we could just touch each other at least one last time. I wished I could say a proper goodbye.

'James – you need to.'

I was quiet as I debated whether to tell her the truth. She knew I was not human, but something more. She might have realized I was a god, but I didn't think she had figured out I was the god of war. If I told her now… It wasn't as if it could shock or break her now, or as if she would even remember until she got another taste of sacrificial blood, but I just couldn't tell her. She was better off still thinking my name was James… or at least not Ares.

She didn't notice any of this. Her mind didn't register time anymore. 'How are you… how is afterlife?' I asked eventually, not having been able to think of a better thing to say.

She shrugged feebly. 'I don't know, actually. This is the first time I've thought about that.' Of course it was. The souls here didn't do or think much unless animated by fresh blood. This might even be the first time since her death that she had been able to speak. She really was just an echo of her living self.

'James.' Her voice sounded more forcefully as she said my fake name again. 'If it's been eight years, have you found someone new?' If I could pin any emotion to that empty voice it would be concern, not jealousy or disgust or anything other than simple concern for me, the same she had always had while I was taking care of her instead of trying to live a life of my own.

I scratched my head before answering. 'I… I have, but it's… difficult. She knows I can't forget about you.'

Her shadowy hand drifted up again. 'But you have to, James. You know I'm going to forget about _you _as soon as you leave.'

She was right, as she always had been when she was alive. Even in death she knew the right thing to say. I might still love Virginia after all these years and she still loved me, but only when she could. My love had been one-sided for three quarters of a century and it had been love for a shadow.

'Tell me her name,' she smiled.

'Emma,' I said, without hesitating even a split second.

'Go. You should be with the one who's alive and in the real world.' She looked away briefly. If I hadn't known any better, I might have thought she felt hurt saying this, talking about the girl I loved now. Then, however, she looked back at me intently. 'You and Emma have my blessing.'

I nodded slowly. I remained quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of something more to say but coming up empty. Instead, I smiled ruefully. 'Goodbye, Ginny.'

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><p>Norwegian:<br>_Kyss meg i raeva_ = kiss my ass  
><em>Slingrefitte<em> = wobblepussy

Swedish:  
><em>Du är en god uppoffring, lilla skitunge<em> = You make a good sacrifice, little dipshit


	49. Chapter 49

The smell of basil and baked tomatoes wafted through the old stairwell of our apartment building. I took a deep breath through my nose, wishing our downstairs neighbor would for once invite Gabrielle and me to dinner. Walking past her front door always made me hungry, and today was no exception.

My phone buzzed then and I fished it out of my bag.

_Don't kill me pls_, the little preview of Gabrielle's text read. I frowned and opened the message. _He was v. persuasive. I'm at my dad's. Let me know what happens!_

The message, combined with the fact that as I climbed the stairs the smell only got stronger, convinced me something was up. It didn't take me more than a second to put the words 'he was very persuasive' and the smell, now obviously coming from our apartment, together.

I unlocked and opened the door. 'What are you doing here?' I asked Ares, who was standing by the stove and stirring in a pot.

He turned around and threw the dishtowel over his right shoulder, licking a speck of sauce off his thumb. 'Cleaning the slate.'

I closed the door behind me, never taking my eyes off him. Just like the last time I'd seen him, right outside our door, he appeared completely human. I could only imagine what he looked like in full godly glory, now that he had believers again. That _had_ to have impacted his power in some way. 'Who said you deserve one?' I asked sharply. I leaned on the edge of the dinner table.

'No one did, but I'm taking my chances.' It came out smug, but he smiled before turning away to stir in the pot again.

_Ugh, so stubborn._ 'But seriously.' I crossed my arms. 'What _are_ you doing here? What did you say to Gab to get her to let you in?'

He took his time to add pasta to the boiling water before he turned to face me again. 'Had a little help with that. As for the food… I've decided to recreate our first date.'

I looked away, but he only came closer. The gnocchi. The music I heard playing softly in the background. I should've known. He took my hand – but I had no idea what to do. It was romantic, sure. A really, really good use of a second chance. That was exactly the point, though: I hadn't given him a second chance. He _didn't_ deserve one after what he did. But with him holding my hands and the tension between us like actual electric sparks flying, just as that time at our first date when we kissed for the first time – I couldn't think straight. I swallowed.

He lowered his head to look up at my face. 'Emma?'

I pulled my hand out of his and almost ran into my bedroom. The door slammed shut behind me. I sat down on the foot of my bed with my head in my hands, trying to get my breath under control. Once I'd finally found a good rhythm for my breath, I opened my eyes again and stared at myself in the mirror.

'Get a hold of yourself,' I whispered at my reflection. 'Those sparks are his nature. You're _not_ in love.' My own face stared back at me, unconvinced. I inhaled deeply – and that delicious smell was back. I shook my head, rubbed my forehead and stood up. I'd have to face him and whatever I felt talking to him.

Ares was softly humming a song I vaguely knew as an old one my dad used to like. It was surprising – I hadn't known one could even _hum_ so hopelessly out of tune. I guess I'd figured there was nothing gods weren't at least proficient at, but I was clearly wrong. He stopped humming the moment I was back in the kitchen and cleared his throat. 'So, uh… what now?' he asked uneasily.

I shrugged. 'Throwing the food away would be a waste.' He smiled and lifted one of the gnocchi out of the pot to test if it was done. I sat down and put my feet up on the edge of the seat. 'I just… don't really get it.' I absent-mindedly played with a pizzeria leaflet that was on the table, folding its corner into a little paper fan.

Unsatisfied, he dropped the piece of pasta back into the pot and lowered the heat, then spun and leaned against the counter. 'Yeah, I figured.' A hint of a smile appeared on his face. 'What exactly do you not get?'

'Well…' I pressed on the paper, hoping it would spring up when I let go, but it didn't. 'I don't see you for almost a year, then you suddenly show up at my doorstep wanting to explain everything. You never did and I told you to leave me alone, but then a month later… all of a sudden you're in my house cooking dinner.'

He looked over his shoulder at the food. 'I – this was a bad idea,' he muttered, almost as if he was scolding someone.

'Maybe it was. I should start studying for my midterms anyway.' Lame excuse. I knew that. I just hoped he would buy it and leave, because I couldn't handle talking to him, let alone have dinner with him, when my emotions were so jumbled up. I frowned – had I taken my pills this morning? I tried to recount all the steps I took before I went off to class, but couldn't even remember leaving.

'Em.' Ares was now at my side, frowning, and lifted my chin. 'You're looking worse than last time.'

'Gee, thanks.' What, did he compare mental pictures of every time he saw me?

'Have you slept at all?' He let go of my chin and sat down on the other chair, but did not for a second avert his glance from my face.

I shook my head. 'Not really. You know, stress, from being back in school and stuff.' That wasn't exactly true – I was hardly stressed about my classes – but I wasn't about to be the damsel in distress and tell him what kept me up at night. In fact, I needed to get that thought out of my mind right now. If only Ares gave me a moment to slip away to the bathroom…

He nodded slowly. 'So you're saying that Pho-'

I cut his sentence short by pointing my chin toward the stove. 'Food's burning.' It wasn't even true and he knew it, because he didn't so much as look away from me. Wait – what did _he_ know about my night terrors?

He looked down at his hands. 'We're going to have to talk about it eventually.'

'Do we?' I sighed. 'I don't want to hear your explanations.' Of course I did. I wanted to know so badly.

'I just thought you might want to know I punished them – well, Aphrodite did, more than I ever could –'

I finally looked him in the eyes again. 'Wait. What are you talking about?'

For a brief moment, he looked at me quizzically. Then, his eye fell on the couch behind me. I followed his glance. I hadn't bothered to tidy away the quilt and pillows – I hadn't expected anyone to visit anyway. 'Oh – uh – Gabrielle's aunt came over for a few days,' I lied.

He lifted his hand to point at the couch. 'Does Gabrielle's aunt sleep with your baby bunny?'

I got up, sped toward the couch and picked up the stuffed bunny, hiding it behind my back. 'How do you know about my bunny?' I never took it out of my bedroom.

The frown on his forehead grew deeper. He approached me and pulled me down to sit on the couch, then let go of my arm. 'Emma,' he urged, 'I need you to tell me exactly what happened the last time you saw me.'

'What?' I leaned back, confused. 'What do you mean? I was just talking about that, when you wanted to talk and explain and blah blah and I was sarcastic to you, but then you made the first joke I've heard from you in, uh, ever, and then you left and I ate pizza with Gabrielle and we watched the dumbest movie we could find on Netflix.'

He did the slow nod again. 'Okay. How long ago was that?'

'A month. I said that too. What's this about?'

'When did you stop sleeping in your own bed?'

I bit my lip, looking down, turned away from him, got up. He followed me, taking my hand again. I shook it loose. I needed to think straight. No – I needed not to think at all, because this conversation was just reminding me of things I didn't want to be reminded of. 'I think you should go,' I spit out.

'I'm not leaving you alone, Em.' He was right behind me – I could smell him. It fogged up my mind. 'I want you to be safe, I told you that.'

'You've never even said that to me.' It came out more bitterly than I had wanted it to. Shit. I was losing control.

'But I do. When is Gabrielle coming back?'

I didn't turn around to face him when I answered. 'Don't know. After dinner, tomorrow morning maybe.'

'I'll stay until she gets home.'

That made me whip around – my body only inches away from his, even if I had to look up to look him directly into his eyes. 'I don't want you to babysit me!' I shouted, loud enough to damage a normal human's ears at this distance.

'No, I –' he tried, but didn't get very far as I continued my shouting.

'I don't need you to tell me where to sleep and what to eat and I don't want you to stay and keep an eye on me all in the name of my _safety_ or whatever when all you want to do is stare at a – a bad copy of Virginia! That's all I am to you, right?'

'Emma –'

'Well, _fuck_ her and _fuck_ you and your stupid questions and your stupid inability to leave me the _fuck_ alone! I may be a pathetic _mortal_ but I can sure as _hell_ take care of myself without you following my every move!'

I spun around again, about to stomp away, but he forcefully grabbed my upper arm. It didn't really hurt, but it was unpleasant enough that I didn't dare move. '_No_, Emma, you can't,' he said through clenched teeth. 'You think I don't know what's going on? You think you'll be able to save yourself?'

'I don't _want_ you to _save_ me if that's what you think you're doing!' I yelled furiously. I tried to get out of his grip, but he was much too strong – but just when I thought I was going to hurt myself he dropped his hand.

'Oh, come _on_,' he sneered, laughing a bit, but there was no humor in the sound. He was staring down at me with just as much rage in his eyes, although his body language wouldn't give it away – he was obviously trying hard to control his anger. 'As if you could've stopped Apollo, as if you're getting out of _this_ on your own,' he roared. I started seeing flashes of light around him – was he losing his human disguise? – and wanted to shrink away, but couldn't – he had slowly driven me back against the wall with his hands above my shoulders. Save for ducking under his arms, I had nowhere to go. But I didn't want to anyway. I wouldn't give him that.

'Don't call me weak!'

'_You are weak, Emma_!' He was now so close I could feel his breath in my neck. The light flickered a few times until it settled around his armor. I only saw it a split second before I squeezed my eyes shut – it hurt, not the light but seeing the armor. It only brought back the terror of… of that night. I _had_ seen him since that pizza night.

I felt a hot sigh on my shoulder. 'You are right now,' he said softly, but I barely heard it. I just wanted to get away from him and his bronze armor and the terror and all that he reminded me of but I had nowhere to go – I couldn't stay in the living room where he was and I couldn't go to my bedroom now. I tried to find something to hold onto, but the wall was too smooth and I felt myself falling. My legs were that powerless.

He caught me before I hit the ground. 'You need to sleep.'

I opened my eyes, but averted my glance immediately. He was still in his armor. 'Can't,' I said simply. I didn't want to waste any more words than necessary.

He let go of me when I sat stably on the ground and sat down next to me. 'Can't sleep here or at all?'

'Not in there.' I pointed my chin toward my room. 'Not in here.' I wanted to look pointedly at him, but wouldn't turn my face to his.

'Okay.' I heard him take a deep breath. 'I'm taking you to your mother, then.'

I did look at him incredulously now. He was back to the Noah cover. It was easier to look at him now, but I couldn't help but think of Delta and Phi – no, Deimos and Phobos. 'She hates you.'

'As does everyone. Come on, grab your things.' I was about to protest, but he had already gotten up to toss the food that was, finally, burning.


	50. Chapter 50

_OMG chapter 50! It's been a long time coming (since... the end of 2011?) but I've reached the big 50. Hope you like it. Pleeeaaase review, I love talking to you guys about what you think!_

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><p>I would never get used to this feeling. It was a little like the queasiness right before the car crash, or the feeling when you know you are getting sick on the merry-go-round, or that moment when you suddenly notice how incredibly drunk you are and can't sit down without the world going spinning. Except it was so much more intense than all those feelings combined and, most disorienting of all, I had nowhere to anchor my body or feel ground under my feet. I decided to just hold on to Ares' arm until I was sure it was safe not to.<p>

Ares cleared his throat. 'We're here.'

Tentatively, I moved my foot, found it was firmly planted, and let go. After a deep breath, I opened my eyes. 'I'm a little dizzy,' I blurted out and stretched my arm out in front of me. 'I'm gonna – I'm gonna sit down.' Slowly I walked to the big leather chair next to the fireplace and sat down, putting my head in my hands.

'Emma!' I didn't lift my head at the sound of my mother's voice as she came running into the room. 'Are you okay?' I nodded, but didn't dare do open my mouth.

She went to stand between me and Ares. 'Hello,' she said, the tone going up at the end a bit as if in a question – as if she wasn't sure how to address him. Maybe she was still afraid he would snap and lash out at her. With good reason, I had to admit.

'Olivia. How are you?' Ares sounded genuinely interested in her answer – although his voice did have that commanding tone. I looked up.

'I – fine…' Mom trailed off and looked at me, for confirmation maybe, or for a hint on what to say to him. 'Oh, Emmy, you look terrible.' She knelt down next to the chair, took my hand and almost looked up to Ares with an accusing look on her face – but it quickly morphed into a mildly confused expression. 'What happened?'

'His damned _sons_ –' I started, but was cut off by Ares.

'Emma. Later. You need to sleep.' Mom looked back and forth between us, clearly not understanding.

I glared at him. 'Shut _up_. Don't tell me what to do,' I muttered, then added sarcastically, '_Captain_.'

To my surprise, he started laughing. 'That would be "general" at the very least. Olivia, I assume you don't mind if your daughter stays the night here?' Ugh. If he put it like that, he would have my mother agreeing to everything he said in no time.

'Oh, no, of course not. But…' She was still frowning, but shook the thought away. 'Come on, Emmy, let's get you to bed.' She pulled on my hand and I reluctantly followed her into the guest bedroom, where she started to quickly refresh the sheets. I sat on the little stool at the end of the bed – I would have helped her, but I was just too tired.

'Why did he bring you here, Emma? How come you look so pale?' She pulled a pajama set out of my bag and sat down on the foot of the bed.

I shrugged. 'I haven't really slept. Nightmares.'

'Oh, honey.' Mom tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. 'Are they coming back?'

I looked away and thought for a moment. Sure, these nightmares were a little like the ones I had had almost every night two years ago. They were just a thousand times scarier and more intense. 'I guess so.'

'Well, I'm right here, just wake me up when you can't sleep. And please, stay in bed as long as you want tomorrow.' That was a rare thing for her to say – as long as I could remember she had always woken me up early, even on the weekends, because she didn't want me to waste my days with sleeping. 'Sleep tight, Emmy. You can tell me everything tomorrow.' She kissed me on my forehead and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

There was no way I was going to sleep now. I wanted so badly to hear what she and Ares would say to each other. I changed into my pajamas, but sat down against the wall by the door and listened.

'Why were you with her?' Mom asked. She didn't sound as scared or confused as she had earlier, but she was definitely still careful. I heard chairs scraping against the ground – they were sitting down at the kitchen table.

'That is none of your business,' Ares replied coldly.

'It is if you put my daughter in harm's way. "Harm" being you in this case.'

'Fair enough. Although if you must know, the only harm she was initially in was from potentially burning her tongue on pasta.'

'_Initially_? What are you saying?'

A moment of silence. The creaking of the chair with Ares' enormous weight on it. 'Nothing. A poor word choice. She was not for a second in danger.'

'So you're saying that you did _not_ do this to her.'

'I didn't. I'm not the villain of her story, Olivia.'

'Then tell me what happened.' She paused. 'Please.' It was amazing how civilized and almost polite they were to each other – the distance between them was dripping from their voices. I knew Mom despised him and what he stood for… and still she was begging him for this.

'She…' Ares cleared his throat. 'She is exhibiting symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder.' I frowned and lifted my head – it had been resting on my knees. I had read about PTSD. There was no way I had it. Ares was wrong.

'What? What are you saying? Is she – how would you know?' Her chair scraped backwards against the floor.

'It's all there: the apathy, the anxiety, amnesia, anger…' I dropped my head on my knees again – a little too hard, actually, it hurt – and clutched my knees. He wasn't talking about me. It was as if he was just talking about some stranger. So distant, but still he sounded concerned. But there was nothing to be concerned about.

'I – but – what would you know about that?' Mom's voice was shrill and she was stumbling over her words. It had been so long since I heard her like that… almost three years now.

'Plenty. You are aware that military veterans are a risk group for PTSD? I know what war does to people. I may not be able to empathize, but I can sympathize.'

'That doesn't mean that Emma – she's never even _seen_ war –'

'Do you even know _why_ she doesn't sleep anymore? It's a miracle she didn't develop PTSD or anything until now!'

'Then what happened?'

'No. That's-'

She cut him off. 'Just _tell me what happened to my daughter_! Or I – I…'

I could imagine his lifted eyebrow from his tone alone. 'Or you _what_? Keep in mind that I am very impulsive, Olivia. Cross a line and you _will_ know it.'

I heard her fall back into the seat and take a deep breath. 'Please. I need to know what happened to Emmy.'

'I can't tell you that right now. She is right behind that door listening to our every word.' I froze and sucked in my breath, as if that would somehow hide me. 'And even the slightest trigger – and a complete description would not be very slight – will bring the memories back.' But he was wrong – this alone, just him referencing what happened without even outright saying it, brought everything back. The flashes flooded my vision and I threw my head between my knees, digging my nails into my skin just to try to override the mental pain with the physical. I saw the white eyes, heard their whispers – _don't look now, Emma Sawyer, open your eyes, Emma Sawyer_ – and as much as I tried to tell myself that they weren't actually here, I couldn't convince myself because they had to be here, because there was no way I could feel this fear and panic if they weren't here.

Far away I heard the sudden sound of wood crashing on wood but it wouldn't quite reach my mind. I tried to curl up more, curl into myself and hide away from the terror but my body wouldn't let me. It was as if the fear was pounding on my head and drilling into me, becoming a part of me. _They're not here, they're not here_ – the words formed but the thought never registered.

'They're not here, Emma, they're not here. Ssh.' They weren't my own words. Ares had molded his body around mine, as if forming an outer layer against the nonexistent terror, and pulled my hair away from my face. I looked up – my pajama pants were soaked in tears – and clumsily twisted to look at him.

'How –' I started, but my voice broke before I could even properly finish one word. Ares shifted and pulled me closer with my head against his shoulder. I cried and cried and couldn't stop crying. It was as if I had yet another ocean of tears that all wanted to come out at the same moment.

'It's okay. You're okay,' he softly said. I nodded into his shoulder but didn't answer – I couldn't, anyway. I felt him look up then and followed his gaze, meeting my mother's.

'Oh, Emmy.' She brought her hands to her face and looked close to crying herself, but looked at Ares. 'Isn't there anything you can do? Wave your hand and make it disappear?'

'I wish I could.' I felt the vibration of his voice through my entire body. 'That's not how it works, unfortunately.'

'Well – don't you have a brother with healing powers?' She sounded so desperate.

'Believe me, Apollo was my first thought, but obviously he's out of the question.' A brief shudder coursed through my body at the mention of his name. It was as though I suddenly remembered that…incident with Apollo so much more clearly than before.

'What? Why?'

'Because of that whole – you don't know.'

'Don't know _what_?' Mom demanded.

Ares slowly let his head fall onto my shoulder. 'Oh, Emma,' he mumbled and let his forehead rest in the hollow of my shoulder for a few seconds, then looked up at Mom again. 'It's not my place to tell you. You'll know, Olivia, eventually.'

Mom looked confused. She also looked hurt and betrayed – and I couldn't really blame her. Ever since Olympus, or actually, before that, I hadn't told her anything. Just the boring stories about my classes and things I did with my friends, but nothing about what _actually_ occupied me. For a year there hadn't been much to tell… but then with my run in with Apollo it had all started again and I had just been too afraid of her judgment to tell her anything. But I should have. She was my mom.

'I'll ask around for help. Hygeia or Iaso maybe… Just don't expect too much,' Ares continued.

'Why not? You're an Olympian, shouldn't lesser gods… obey you?' Mom asked. She didn't sound at all like the mythology professor she was. She sounded as if absolutely nothing in the world made sense to her anymore.

Ares smiled a tired smile. 'They still don't like me very much, any of them. Anyway, I'll stay with her for now…' I barely heard the rest of their conversation; my exhaustion from the past weeks, from the anger and from the tears was getting the best of me. I was already half asleep when Ares picked me up to put me in bed.


	51. Chapter 51

I had almost fallen asleep, too, when a sudden flutter by the window caught my attention and I was instantly alert. I'd already stood up in a flash, knife in hand, when I saw the sparrow flying back to a tree. I sat back in the uncomfortable chair and twirled the knife between my fingers.  
>I didn't expect Deimos and Phobos to come again – they were much too busy doing chores for Aphrodite, anyway – but I wanted to stay awake just in case. It was hard, though, with Emma's soft, regular breathing being the only thing breaking the silence, and my own exhaustion nearly overpowering me. The past weeks I'd spent night and day getting Hades his souls and I hadn't allowed myself to rest even for a moment – the earlier I finished my task, the better. Plus, I hadn't been able to sleep for a few nights now anyway. Worrying about Emma – about her health, about what she'd do now that she knew it was <em>my<em> sons that had been stalking her – had kept me up.

'So I hear you want my granddaughters to help,' a smug voice then said.

I looked behind me. Apollo and his dramatic entrances… I couldn't believe he _still_ enjoyed doing that. 'I haven't actually asked them yet.'

'You might as well wait it out, you know.' Apollo sat down on the other chair.

I frowned. 'Wait it out? That would take months, years, _if_ it would ever disappear. I'm not going to subject her to that.'

'Actually, Ares,' he started, assuming his usual air of superiority, 'it's not PTSD. It's just an acute stress reaction, basically shock, and she's already in the last phase. So long as Deimos and Phobos stay away from her, it'll dissolve in about a week.'

'Yeah, and you.' I looked at him pointedly. 'You're part of it. You know you dug up memories with what you did back on Olympus. And then you thought it was a good idea to stalk her at the university, too.'

'I offered her my help,' he protested vehemently.

'Come on, Apollo. You and I both know you weren't there for that reason. And keep your voice down.'

'Fine.' He settled back into the chair and crossed his legs. I sighed; he clearly was not planning to leave any time soon. 'What's she dreaming of?' Apollo asked in a softer voice.

'A walk along the California coast.' I blankly stared at Emma, but focused on the image of her dream in the back of my mind.

Apollo snorted. 'Creative.'

'Yeah, well, we can't all be as artistic and _visionary_ as you.' I put a field full of blue flowers into the dream, right over the edge of the hill she was now climbing. She'd like that.

'And I assume you're on that walk with her?' he smirked.

I slowly shook my head, then added her brother, climbing toward her from the other side of the hill. She hadn't seen him in months – might as well see him now. I knew she missed him. I just wondered how _he_ would react to… well, me. 'Giving her some time off.'

Apollo didn't reply to that. He was quiet for a little while, but didn't break into Emma's dream – he was giving her some privacy, at last. I leaned back into the chair.

'Hey, Ares,' he finally said. 'Be careful, okay?'

I had just closed my eyes, but looked back at him now, frowning. 'What do you mean?'

Apollo nodded towards Emma. 'I mean, take care of yourself. With her. I know you're hopeful again after what happened earlier tonight – anyone could see, you're almost radiating hope – but when she wakes up… All I'm saying is, the situation hasn't really changed.'

'I think it has,' I said stubbornly, refusing to look him in the eye again.

'No, Ares.' His voice was still low in an attempt not to wake Emma, but I felt him staring at me intently. '_She_ doesn't know you went to see Virginia. _She _doesn't know the body count you left for that. And _she_ has no idea that you're finally free of Gin's grasp.'

'Can you at least pretend not to know everything I do and think?' I ignored the actual content of what he said. I wasn't even sure he was right about that last part.

'Persephone told me, actually. She's very proud of you. She told _everyone_.' Apollo softly laughed – typical Persephone. If Hades wouldn't tell people what happened in the Underworld – which, naturally, he never did – she _absolutely_ did whenever she got the chance. I smiled along with Apollo. Spring was much too far away; I was looking forward to seeing Persephone above ground.

'Tell me she's wrong,' Apollo challenged.

I looked down at my hands and picked a bit of basil from under my fingernail. 'I don't know, okay? I only went down _yesterday_. I'm going to need some more time. I'm not even sure if I did the right thing.'

'Well, your timing sucked.'

I raised an eyebrow at him, but remained silent.

He grinned. 'I'm saying you should've done this years ago. You've made an art form out of beating yourself up over her in the past decades.'

I looked away, back to Emma, and let her dream version paddle in a river. It was probably the most boring dream she had ever had – but she needed that. I inhaled deeply. 'Why do you even care, Apollo?'

He shrugged. 'You're my little brother. Someone's got to save our big protector from himself.'

I silenced. Such a thing was not necessarily unlike Apollo to say, but I couldn't remember the last time he'd said it to _me_. He enjoyed feeling like he was needed, but that was never really in relation to me. No one ever thought I did need anyone, either, no one but Aphrodite who was (in her own twisted ways) always there for me, just like when she offered to…

Aphrodite.

I sat up on the edge of the chair, dropping Emma's dream altogether, my mind racing.

'Ares?'

I lamely lifted my hand to silence Apollo, still thinking the entire situation through. It fit. It all fit; Aphrodite helped me in her own twisted ways. I shook my head. No. She wouldn't.

'Hey, Ares, mind sharing this eureka moment with me?' Apollo asked impatiently.

My thoughts were completely jumbled up and it took me a few seconds to collect myself, but then I turned to face him. 'It's Aphrodite. She did this. She's the one who gave Emma this… acute stress thing.'

He looked at me skeptically. 'Didn't she swear on Styx she would help you win her back?'

I almost forgot to keep my voice down as I explained restlessly. 'But that's the thing, isn't it? Before Dei and Pho did this I didn't have a chance of even seeing Emma. And now here I am. It's basically cheating.'

Apollo took in my words and my disgusted face for a few seconds before a smile cracked across his face. 'Ares, I know how you feel about cheating, but Aphrodite got you a step closer to getting the girl. This is good. This is victory.'

I opened, then closed my mouth, considering this. Was it victory? Apollo definitely always knew what to say – that word and that feeling were, of course, some of my favorite ones. It just didn't feel like victory right now and even if it was, it didn't taste as sweet as it normally would. I realized then that this wasn't good, this wasn't good at all, and I felt my epiphany making place for what would soon be an enormous fit of rage against Aphrodite. With her not present currently, I glared at my big brother, whose smile literally dimmed. 'This isn't about me getting the girl, Apollo! It's about what Aphrodite did to Emma, no matter her intentions. If I'm right, she purposely put Emma through hell. If that's what it takes for me to be with Emma, then I – I… forfeit.' It was almost physically impossible for me to say that last word.

He didn't respond to that. He just kept looking at me while I kept looking at him, feeling as if I reeked of desperation and cowardice. Finally, he raised his hand and said, 'You should've kept feeding her dreams.'

_Cazzo_. I looked at Emma and broke into her dreamscape, but it was blank, which meant she would be waking up soon – or maybe she already had. The thought that she might have heard our conversation, or even only part of it, was harrowing.

'She'll open her eyes in thirty-six seconds. I advise you to get out while you can,' Apollo said, and he'd disappeared in a flash of light before I could even ask him for an explanation.

I dropped my face into my hands and rubbed my cheeks. Should I take my brother's advice and leave, or should I stay? The choice was easy. I would never, never flee from a conflict. It would be a disgrace if I did what Apollo said I should.

Emma stirred in her bed and let out a sigh. Fifteen more seconds.


End file.
